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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect that at 32 I was past all the someone waiting for me at the gates at 3 o clock to batter me....well it would seem not!!

176 replies

ElizabethWakefield · 10/03/2010 13:14

There was an incident at DD's school on Monday, a game went wrong and a boy ended up wrapping a skipping rope around a girl's throat, outcome was the girl got quite badly hurt and it was fairly serious.

Now the story i have heard from DD and the story that has come from the school are very different.

So, today i am sitting in work and i get a phone call from the school, warning me that through some kind of crossed wires the mum of the girl has been informed that my DD was in some way involved in the whole incident, and she is now "on the war path" and will, apparently, be waiting for me at 3 o clock. I mean in what kind of bizarre world is that a normal conversation to have with your child's school!

The mum is not someone you would ever want to be on the wrong side of and apparently there is nothing the school can do!

Really, I am 32...a reasonable person and I don't fight!!

Sigh... might have to ditch my shiney ballet pumps for some steel toe capped boots on the way home!

OP posts:
Original poster
ElizabethWakefield · 10/03/2010 13:32

On the plus side local police staion is about a 5 min walk....2 min run...away.

God, it would be funny if I wasn't actually concerned!!

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 10/03/2010 13:33

How old are theses DCs ?

pagwatch · 10/03/2010 13:34

If the Head has sufficient reason to call you then he/she should have sufficient concern to tell the woman that they will call the police to attend.
What a weak arse stance to let her suggest that she will confront you in an aggressive way and be so scared thatthey call you but take no responsibility for protecting you and your DD.

I would phone the community police and phone the Head back saying that now you have had a chance to register the seriousness of the phone call you want to know exactly what they are going to do to ensure that neither you, nor your daughter are compromised because they have failed to deal with this woman

NeedCoffee · 10/03/2010 13:34

!!
Agree the school should get it sorted, and quickly.

bibbitybobbityhat · 10/03/2010 13:35

I sincerely hope the school are showing a more pro-active attitude to dealing with the bullying incident than they are to this side issue!

Tortington · 10/03/2010 13:36

i'd phone the police. they should speak to school and parent. this is threatening behaviour

its either an assumption on the part of the school that this woman is going to twat you.

or she said she would

this needs clarification - the police can do this.

she needs to be told the true version of events.

the police can do this

she should also phone the police as her daughter has been assaulted.

Guadalupe · 10/03/2010 13:36

It is an absurd reaction from the school. They should have told the woman that if she is threatening to cause trouble, particularly in front of all the children, then they have no option but to call the police.

I can see why she is furious. I would be. But adults don't bulldoze round the playground threatening other parents especially if they don't now what has happened and who is involved!

Original poster
ElizabethWakefield · 10/03/2010 13:37

Need to go into a meeting but dcs are all 9 and a half

My DD really wasn't involved the story has been all round the school, and DD has never been mentioned other than in her role as skipper.

I agree i would also be raging if it was my DD that was really badly hurt, but I would never be violent towards the parent of the other child. I would want explainations from the school as to how it happened however, which i don't think she has had.

I will update later, and thanks everyone for advice so far!

OP posts:
northernmonkey · 10/03/2010 13:37

I cannot believe that the school are too afraid to do anything for you op it really makes me

Phone the police and talk to them. If they know in advance (and you say you won't see this woman until tommorrow) then hopefully they can defuse the situation before there is one

Jamieandhismagictorch · 10/03/2010 13:37

I agree with everyone else

bedlambeast · 10/03/2010 13:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thesunshinesbrightly · 10/03/2010 13:38

Fighting infront of kid's, this woman sound's charming.

rotool · 10/03/2010 13:38

I agree with BariatricObama, pic your DD up early but I wouldn't leave the school without sorting it out or you may have the same problem in the morning.
Head should meet the woman at the school gates and the three of you should talk about it untill the woman is clear that this is the school problem , not yours.
Good Luck

JackBauer · 10/03/2010 13:40

If she wants to talk to you the very least the school should have done is to arrnage a meeting with you both in the school with the HT.
I would seriously call teh community police and then the HT, you may think she wonl't know where you are but someone only has to say you will be there at 4 for you to be even more vulnerable and without all the other parents as witnesses.
Disgraceful, buck passing behvaiour from the school though.

jenduff · 10/03/2010 13:41

The school are in the wrong on so many levels - good advice from others - hope you're ok

blinder · 10/03/2010 13:42

I like all the other suggestions but here is another.

What if you got her number from the school and gave her a ring? Have a chat with her. She must be distraught about her dd. Explain the situation, offer sympathy and listen to her. Very unlikely to develop from that into fisticuffs.
If the school refuse to give you her number, idiots, ask them to pass your number to her. IME even enaged people settle down if you are genuinely sympathetic.

asdx2 · 10/03/2010 13:42

Have had exactly the same thing happen here only it was the child's father threatening to burn our house down because his ds had a bruise on his leg that he said my ds had done (he may have) Because his child was on the at risk register he was very angry that he might be blamed.
School had to call the police because he was causing a scene at school wanting to address the issue with my son aged 5. I think the words he used were "I'll break his fucking legs"
Police came to our home to warn us he had form and to be wary they had cautioned him and would put on extra patrols but expected him to calm down because school would confirm to SS his child got a bruise in school.
He did calm down and believe it or not invited my ds to his child's birthday party a month later. Not surprisingly we declined the invitation.

emmymama · 10/03/2010 13:42

if you give her your pocket money will she go away?

or maybe you should get your mum to ring her mum?

bloomin stupid!i agree to pickeing her up early and telling school to sort it out!

posieparkerfuckityfuck · 10/03/2010 13:44

I would ask a police officer to accompany you.

OtterInaSkoda · 10/03/2010 13:44

jackbauer - good thinking. She'll work out you won't be there til 4 and turn up again then. Yes, call the police.

OtterInaSkoda · 10/03/2010 13:46

blinder - In the unlikely event that the school would give out her number (and I'd hope they wouldn't tbh) I rather think the other mother is likely to respond with a series of expletives.

Guadalupe · 10/03/2010 13:48

I think you should def speak to the police.

asdx2 - That is DREADFUL.

blinder · 10/03/2010 13:48

You don't know that. I think it's worth a try.

expatinscotland · 10/03/2010 13:49

Where are people living with all these fucking ghetto people?

FioFio · 10/03/2010 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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