in considering leaving my 8 year old home alone?

[kitkatsforbreakfast]

OK, I haven't done it yet, but I am considering it, in the following circumstances:

• If I have to pop out to pick up another dc and will be away less than half an hour.

• if he wants to be at home.

• if neighbours are in, and know that ds is watching tv/playing on the computer.

• if ds knows he can knock on neighbour's door, or ring them, or ring me at any time.

I'm asking because sometimes if I have to collect another dc, ds doesn't want to come. He would prefer to be reading/listening to his iPod/watching TV, or going on Club Penguin. He is very trustworthy and sensible, wouldn't open the door to anyone or anything like that, and we know our neighbours very very well.

Usually I make him go round and watch TV at our neighbour's house if he doesn't want to come out with me (and the younger dc), just wondering when you can start to give a bit more freedom.

If you feel that he is safe to do so then you can use your own judgement and let hims stay at home.

I say this because I think half our reluctance as parents in letting children do stuff is not worry about them but rather its worrying about what other people will think of us.

I think it would be fine. It depends so much on the child - my youngest is 7 and won't be ready for that by next year, but older DCs probably were. You know your child, and if your child is happy, knows the rules (what if someone knocks on the door? what happens if Mum isn't back when she said she would be? etc) then yes, fine.

My 8yo was ready for this at that age; in fact, I would leave him for rather longer than half an hour if need be.

If you are happy that he can deal with anything likely to happen - someone at the door, the phone ringing, a lightbulb suddenly going - then I think it's fine. A sensible 8yo can cope with far more than we normally expect them to in this culture!

fine, I would do it.

He'll be fine. Just go.

So glad I've had 'sensible' answers (ie. ones that agree with what I was thinking!)

Agree with other posts. If you think he could cope then fine.

I too have an 8 year old DS and I have done it twice. Once earlier this year when he was only 7 - there was an ice storm here in Budapest and I was driving our cleaner to the bus - I figured he was safer in the house than in the car.

I also did it last week in Dublin at my parents house as I had to take my mum and dad to the doctor to get a prescription. Again roads were bad so I figured he was safer at home and he was engrossed in Playstation. He was very happy to be left. Initially. After 10 mins I called him to say we would be a bit longer. The he tried to call me a couple of times and couldn't get the house phone to work. He very cleverly remembered that my Dad had left his mobile so he used that to call me!

In the end we were 40 mins in total and he called me twice and I called him twice. His feeling after was that it was too long. Liked the idea of being left 'home alone' but not the reality!

Any moment now someone will post telling you that your house is at risk of spontaneously combusting or that a child-murderer will knock at the door and eat your son.

You know just to ignore them, ok?

I leave DD1. she knows the rules and if she doesnt stick to them then no more being growup on her own!

However I know of parents who wont let their child get in the car of another parent or walk to school on their own. They are 10 now.

You know he will burn the house down right? After he has let the child-murderer into the house, but possibly before he starts running around the house with large knives

If you are happy with it and he is happy with it, I see no problem. I have left my 5 yo playing on the pc to nip to the shop (I would have been out less than 5 minutes) and shock horror both the house and the child survived just fine

Agree it depends on the child

However I WOULDN'T leave them unsupervised on the computer AT ALL

When I was that age, I was making my own way home from school (only a short walk) and watching tv until Mum or Dad got home (which wasn't very long, can't remember properly but maybe 1.5-2 hours).

I wasn't allowed to answer the door. The worst thing I did was try to heat up a jam doughnut (covered in sugar) in a pan on the hob. The disgusting black ring never left that pot!

Thanks for this post. I have been wondering about this too. My DS is nearly 8, and I have left him while I walk the dog round the block a couple of times, and feel quite relaxed about leaving him for a bit longer, but if I mention this to people, they seem aghast, which makes me question myself.
He would also like to walk home from school without me, and I'm facing the same issues - no-one who lives near us will let their children do it, so there is no-one that he can walk with (I'd feel happier if he had company en route, just as a little bit of added security). So I either have to let him do it alone, or I pick him up. We live about 20min walk from the school, which is a reasonably distance I know, but so many people think that some awful horror will befall him, that I start believing it too!
morningpaper - mmm, I think you are probably right about the computer!

I'd not have a problem with it. In fact I left ds1 who is also 8 at home yesterday while I went to pick up ds2 as nursery had closed early due to the weather. I figured he was safer at home than out on the slippery roads. There were plenty of neighbours at home who'd have helped him out if necessary as all the other kids were at home too.

I was going to and from school on the bus (a normal service bus, not a school bus) on my own when I was a lot younger than 8.

iheartthehuckerbees. Let your son walk. You may be surprised to find other mums just waiting for someone to be the "first".
As long as the ground rules are set out nice & clear then it is good life experience.

Thanks, ronshar. You may be right.

I wouldn't leave mine but I'm a worry wart My biggest reason is being delayed on the way home. It's not been an issue so far though - eldest is happy to tag along so perhaps if she decides that she's not so happy I'll have to reconsider.

ihearthuckabees - I let ds1 take himself to the tennis club after school a couple of times a week - have told the school he has permission to leave alone and they weren't at all bothered. As far as I know nobody else in his year does though. Will probably let him start walking in on his own before long too.

DC should never be unsupervised on the internet, so please at the very least don't let him go on the internet whilst you aren't in the house.

I have a 7 year old (dd though, I wonder if that makes a difference psychologically?) and cannot imagine leaving her home alone for half an hour. I'd be worried the entire time. MY 10 year old niece gets left under similar circumstances to those you explain above (apart from NO internet) and everyone seems happy with the arrangement.

Sorry got your name all wrong

ronshar: "However I know of parents who wont let their child get in the car of another parent or walk to school on their own. They are 10 now. "

I know someone who won't let their DD be home alone and she is 14

In the circumstances described by OP sounds fine to me too

Crikey, my DD wont even let within 100ft of the school gates. I am embarrasing apparently.
Not too embarrasing for a lift to swimming though!

I have recently started to leave DS1 (7) alone for short periods. 3 times so far - popping to the shop for milk (10 mins), posting Xmas cards locally (15 mins) and collecting DS2 from pre-school when DS1 was off school poorly (15 mins).

He was initially alarmed when i suggested it but said go on then. When i got back he said that he's been fine and I can do it again when i like. He was on his DS and hadn't moved a muscle!

" say this because I think half our reluctance as parents in letting children do stuff is not worry about them but rather its worrying about what other people will think of us.
"

Yes. Quite agree.