very unhelpful things your other half can say whilst in labour

[benbon]

just wondering if anyone else's other halves have come out with very unhelpfull advice whilst you were in labour. aibu to think this was not very helpful?

after being in labour for about 6 hours at this point my husband told me "WELL YOU ARE DRAGGING IT OUT ABIT!"

so what helpful things did your partners say to you,.

[ellingwoman]

"WELL. I'm HERE now. What do you want me to DO?

That was 14 years ago and I've never let him forget it.

[TsarChasm]

Well if nothing's going to happen for a bit, I'll go for a haircut and some breakfast..

A haircut?!

MW (to me) 'Would you like some tea and toast'
DH 'Ooh yes..one sugar please'

[BitOfFun]

"What's our postcode?"

I had a homebirth with dd2, and FIL had telephoned literally 20 seconds before her head entered this world. Not only did my then-DP answer the bloody phone, he expected me to provide him with the full postal address at exactly that point so that FIL could send us a card



I'm a bit busy dear!

[DoNotAnnoy]

"well there isn't a lot I can do at teh moment, so I may as well put the snooker on....shout if you want anything"

This was at about 5cm dilated....so not exactly nothing going on.

[AnarchyAunt]

Ex brought me a wooden spoon 'to bite on' when I was having my DD at home

In all the pics of me and brand-new-DD there is a wooden spoon in the corner where I threw it

[BCNS]

exH was fasinated my the heart rate monitor print off.. and everytime I had a contraction.. he told me I was having one! I nearly hit him.

[Nappyzoneisabeetrootrunner]

"I have an interview at 12.30 (15 miles away)do you think i should go?" - it was 11am and i had ds at 11:58 so you can imagine timing was not good. After i had ds i had to go to surgery and dh rang the company and said could he rearrange as wife had just had a baby and was in surgery and he was looking after his new son whilst i was there - they told him if he wanted the job he would get there as they would not rearrange. Fortunatly for dh's testicles he didnt go.

[DoNotAnnoy]

MW could see how much use DP was and literally stayed with me for every minute of my final 4ish ours of labour.

I only let her out for 2 things. The toilet (she was desperate by the time I let her gp though ) and a birthing stool because baby was still far too high when I was completely delated and she recommended it to help baby descend before I was allowed to push. (was fab by the way and wished I had it 3hrs earlier).

[LovingTheRain]

I was told to "hurry up and push the baby out so I can get back for the football" Luckily she was baby no. 4 so was quicker than the others!

[ilove]

"That one didn't hurt much did it" said on camera whilst inlabour...you can hear the camerawoman giggling as I replied gently bollocked him!

[PinkTulips]

dp went out to get a bottle of coke for himself a few seconds after they broke my waters with dd, didn't turn up for almost an hour

he then went out to phone the families after she was born and decided to pop out for a smoke, he was gone for over half an hour while i was being stitched up and dd was across the room in an incubator

the night before she was born we went in as i was in labour but when i was told i was only 1cm dilated i wanted to go home, we got home and he headed to bed with the immortal words 'wake me when you want to head back in' it bloody well took 30 mins to wake him next day after spending all night on my own cpntracting heavily with only 2 semi feral cats for company

actually, he's generally very good, never makes silly comments really but even with ds2 a few months ago he disappeared from the labour room for over half an hour, despite me being quite close to giving birth

doodle, that actually made me all tearful thinking of your poor dh on the train and you on your own in hospital

[ilove]

Oh, and "you've had enough of that" as he removed my gas and air as they were about to insert the epidural...cue midwife running across the room shouting "DON'T TAKE THAT OFF HER!!!!"

[Tommy]

mine just kept saying "breathe, breathe!"

I felt like saying "I am f*ing breathing - I'd be dead otherwise...."

[muggglewump]

Ex DP sulked at me for two hours because I wasn't trying hard enough.
He also ate the toast they brought me after and one night when he was visiting fell asleep on my bed as he was tired.
Arse

[liahgen]

"you're not trying!!"

he was allowed to attend birth after that one, but isn't attending the next.

[Doodle2U]

PinkTulips - If only! I wasn't on my own. I had the cast of thousands with me because it was getting a bit hairy! Then the Head Honcho MW asked me if I would mind a trainee coming in to watch the birth as she hadn't seen one yet! NINE adults in the room at point of exit an' all I wanted was for it to be over and one of the buggers to give me a cup of tea

[sparkleandshine]

ooh its the customer calling - shall i answer it?

I was just about to start pushing.

[sparkleandshine]

ooh its a customer calling - shall i answer it?

I was just about to start pushing.

[Deeeja]

During the first,my dh fell asleep on my bed, saying he was tired and felt a little unwell.
Then the second he played his choice of cd, because he had nothing to do and was bored![hmmm]
After that, I told him I could do it on my own, but obviously, he had to come along to the birth of my now 2 year old and it was so fast he didn't get a chance to do anything much, but he did drink my tea after delivery, and then phoned his sister instead of concentrating on me!
Am pregnant again, baby due in September, and have told him in no uncertain terms how he is to conduct himself this tme.

[Deeeja]

However, he never flinches at thought of changing a nappy, or bath-time.

[smackapacka]

PMSL at this thread.

My DH and I attended a 'pre-birthing' session run by a midwife and yoga teacher. When asked what the birthing partners could do to help their DW when in labour- my husband said "sing".

That still makes me laugh now - I think the words just tumbled out before he thought about it.

[BettyTurnip]

Dh - lying on the beanbag in the delivery room, "My big toe's giving me a lot of jip, think my gout might be flaring up"

Me - in labour- just didn't have the energy to bellow "Never mind your bloody toe, you big bloody jessie" but I certainly thought it!

[Parmageddon]

Ex-h was mostly quiet but went for a takeaway curry which he brought back to the delivery room stinking it out!!

[PinkTulips]

doodle... when i was having dd a student doc asked to come in and watch as things were getting horrid... the mw asked me by saying 'a student doctor is outisde the door and wants to know if he can come in but you can say no'... i did

if he'd wanted to be there from before things got rough i'd have been more than happy and he'd have gotton to be there went things went wrong too but the morbidness of him only wanting to come in because my baby was in danger made me sick.... can just imagine him lurking in the hallways until he hears someones birth is going horribly wrong and then knocking on that door

[SadieSunshine]

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