Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

very unhelpful things your other half can say whilst in labour

342 replies

benbon · 10/05/2009 10:39

just wondering if anyone else's other halves have come out with very unhelpfull advice whilst you were in labour. aibu to think this was not very helpful?

after being in labour for about 6 hours at this point my husband told me "WELL YOU ARE DRAGGING IT OUT ABIT!"

so what helpful things did your partners say to you,.

OP posts:
vjg13 · 10/05/2009 14:03

Not in labour but just about to go for planned CS.

'do i look like George Clooney?'(he was in theatre scrubs)!!

'take a photo of me'

Also afterwards complained of arms hurting from holding the baby too long whilst I was stitched up!

He also asked on the tour of the delivery suite where do the men wait??

FfreckleFface · 10/05/2009 14:03

I was induced, and things took a while to get going, so while we were waiting the MW explained the various sorts of pain relief available. Bloke was particularly amused then she mentioned aromatherapy, but didn't really say anything and amused himself with bouncing the birthing ball at me,
'Catch!'.

When, after 11 hours of full-on contractions, two minutes apart I was only THREE CMs dilated, I asked for an epidural. Bloke looked all concerned and said,

'Are you sure? Shall we just try some essential oils?'

Comewhinewithme · 10/05/2009 14:06

My DP kept trying to have a go on the gas and air when the MW was out of the room .

He also annoyed me by constantly saying

"Come on we can do this we will get through this next pain" As if we were sharing the contractions together . Next contraction I knelt up lent on him and bit his shoulder hard he still has the mark.

Comewhinewithme · 10/05/2009 14:09

Oh and after dd1 was born he rang everyone and told people her name was Louise ,Libby or Lauren .

I have cards from relatives congratulating on the birth of .

Her actual name is Lucy and he bloody picked it.

imoverhere · 10/05/2009 14:11

Not my DH but the midwife said, just after I'd yelled 'Oh My GOD I've got to push' (after telling me it would be hours before I wanted to I might add)...' you can't, I haven't got my trolly' and ran out the room to get her kit!

don't push when you get the urge??? For me nothing short of total anastheasia would have stopped me pushing.

but then, to add to it, poor dh (who really didn't know any better, whereas the midwife did) said 'don't push babe'. I told him, at the top of my voice, to shut up, which, given the circumstances was quite mild.

OlympedeGouges · 10/05/2009 14:17

After 30 hours of labour
'I'm really tired'

PinkTulips · 10/05/2009 14:18

imoverhere, my mw with ds2 left to prepare another room for me (despite me warning her i go quick at the end) and when my waters broke and i needed to push i pressed the call buttton and 2 other mws ran in.... when they realised i was pushing one of them uttered the words

'you can't push yet, X wanted to handle this birth, you have to wait til she gets here'

my response was to growl rather menacingly 'it's not a fucking decision!!!!'

X did in fact arrive in time to see his shoulders be pushed out.

imoverhere · 10/05/2009 14:30

Pinktulips - you'd think these women had never seen childbirth before! I thought my MW probably hadn't had children so had no idea what the feeling was (that was after I had calmed down and was feeling slightly more charitable.. when ds was about 6wks old! )

flufflybabyhead · 10/05/2009 14:40

rofl at nuneaton man

merryberry · 10/05/2009 14:40

'i've got cramp'

FrankMustard · 10/05/2009 14:41

"I'm just going to have my pasty - feeling a bit peckish"

Even the MW popped out to have her lunch¬

oopsacoconut · 10/05/2009 14:45

Oooh this chair is uncomfy, it's giving me back ache'

I was lying in the bath having a contraction and he walked past the end of the bath tapped me on the nose and said 'boo, no sleeping' obviously the mooing noises and heavy breathing is what i normally do when having a nap???

When DD was born after an overnight labour - I'm just popping to the car for a nap, that exhausted me!

He is not really that bad but it's the stupid comments that stick in your mind.

Voltaire · 10/05/2009 14:54

'I'm not sure I can stand it if you scream like that' on arriving in the delivery suite prior to the arrival of DS1, top the background noise of women having a painful time of it.

TheFallenMadonna · 10/05/2009 15:04

DH said to me, while I was in the process of pushing out our 9.10 DD:

'"I can't, I can't" - you're always so negative'

alexpolismum · 10/05/2009 15:09

Surely it can't be that painful, women have babies every day

BettySwollux · 10/05/2009 15:14

DH holding one leg, MW holding the other, DH pipes up, "Come on girl, give it some welly!"
If I could have moved, I swear I would have killed him.
As it was, the look I shot him was enough to shut him up.

alexpolismum · 10/05/2009 15:20

(to add to my previous post - was very tempted to say: surely it can't be that painful, men get kicked in the balls every day )

pippylongstockings · 10/05/2009 15:21

My DP said straight after DS1 that he thought he could have pushed DS1 out quicker, and that it seemed like I really wasn't concentrating properly on how the midwife was telling me to do it!

I did have a two and a half hour 2nd stage put believe me I was trying to bloody push!

He got his come uppance with DS2 though as I had him in 45min from start to finish - to which I could finally reply "Quick enough for you???"

cariboo · 10/05/2009 15:25

you can do it! it will be fine! men would NEVER survive pregnancy, let alone childbirth.

cariboo · 10/05/2009 15:27

My dh was worse than useless. He fell asleep in the labour swing chair thingy, he went off to eat in a restaurant while I was NBM and he fainted when I was given an epidural....

Lilymaid · 10/05/2009 15:37

Afterwards - "that was most interesting". (Yes, and I did a repeat performance a few years later so he could see it all again including any bits he'd missed the previous tiem.)

MmeLindt · 10/05/2009 15:43

ROFL at Nuneaton. And the essential oils.

Love these stories, reminds me of telling DH that my waters had broken. He replied "Can we wait till the end of the football"

In his defence, it was the Euro 2004 final.

PictureThis · 10/05/2009 15:45

DH - "oh and I was watching that too, I'll miss the ending now." We were being moved to delivery suite because I was about to have our DD and he was worried about missing the end of bloody Patriot Games!!!!!

Baisey · 10/05/2009 16:05

LMAO doodle2U Im from Nuneaton so you can tell your hubby if its any consolation to him, I get off at Nuneaton!!
My DH informed me when I was pushing that I should let go of his hand because I was hurting him...

oldspotraver · 10/05/2009 16:09

Imoverhere same thing with my midwife. 20 mins earlier I had only been 2cm dilated, she asked me if I felt any 'sensation of fullness' down there (didnt realise till I read my notes the probe attatched to DS's head was lengthening). I said no, but was feeling a little something but thought it was the chronic diarrhea I'd had.

I immediately got the urge to push and told her, she flew up off her chair said "no dont push yet" flung one hand over my nether regions the other pressing the buzzer and shouting " Second midwife, Pead, resucitere, quick, quick" She only just caught DS as he plopped onto the bed. The pead and spare midwife then came clattering through the door

DS1 who was doing a Worsearch said afterwards... "Was she panicking a bit?"