Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Clean Slate- Should my ex be letting her boyfriend sleep with my son?

214 replies

Mowgli21 · 25/02/2009 13:17

Scenario is then...... All that I have said but forget the 'Hearsay'.....

Ex - Mother is allowing our son to sleep with her 'Boyfriend' should I be comfortable with that? Son does not like the situation. She denies that the boyfriend exists..... Yet she has just returned from holiday and son insists that the boyfriend was there.....

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion.... She is asking our son to lie, he does not like it which is why I get the information... As for whether I would use it against her or kick off then it is something I am not happy with, which is why I am seeking advice

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 25/02/2009 13:19

Perhaps you should have mentioned that you mean "co-sleep"...!

purplemonkeydishwasher · 25/02/2009 13:21
Hmm
corblimeymadam · 25/02/2009 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 25/02/2009 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hippipotamiHasLostFourPounds · 25/02/2009 13:24

Sorry, I don't get this OP. Who is the ex's mother, and where does her boyfriend come into it?
And why have you mentioned realityetc, is this a follow-up to another thread?

Flightattendant27 · 25/02/2009 13:24

I don't think there is anything you can actually DO about it however wrong it might be. I'm not sure what you want us to say?

Flightattendant27 · 25/02/2009 13:25

Yes and Fgs leave the poor child alone wrt his mother's activities.

What he doesn't volunteer, ask her about. Poor kid.

fryalot · 25/02/2009 13:25

I would not be happy with this at all.

I know from your other thread that you share residence on a 50/50 basis and she has plenty of time to sleep with her new boyfriend when your son is not with her.

I think you both need to concentrate on your son's needs, he is obviously very confused by the whole situation and needs stability.

I appreciate that it will be difficult to communicate with your ex if she refuses to have any contact with you whatsoever but you need to keep trying for your son's sake.

Perhaps write her a letter, making sure you keep a copy so that everyone (courts if necessary) can see how reasonable you were.

You will get a lot of support on here if you are honest with us. We do not like injustice or children who suffer at the hands of their parents - no matter how well meaning the parents are.

Original poster
Mowgli21 · 25/02/2009 13:26

Hippipotami...... It is a response to a poster called 'RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion' from another thread

OP posts:
hippipotamiHasLostFourPounds · 25/02/2009 13:26

Ah, there is another thread. Sorry
For a moment I thought she was the ex???

fryalot · 25/02/2009 13:27

and I agree with the posters who have said that you should stop quizzing your son about what goes on when she has him.

idonthaveanamerightnowVT · 25/02/2009 13:27

You sound like the ex from hell

here is the original thread for those who are confused

Crawl back under your stone N1

TotalChaos · 25/02/2009 13:28

why not talk the issue through with these people, to get advice not from a legal perspective, but a parenting perspective:-

www.parentlineplus.org.uk/

Rhubarb · 25/02/2009 13:29

So hang on, you are the father of this boy right? Your ex - the boy's mother - has a new boyfriend and the 3 of them share a bed when your son is staying - is that right?

Original poster
Mowgli21 · 25/02/2009 13:31

I dont quiz my son about anything... As I have said it is something he is unhappy about and he talks about it....

Thanks for your comments idonthaveanamerightnowVT..... or a clue?

OP posts:
RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 25/02/2009 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Mowgli21 · 25/02/2009 13:32

THat's right Rhubarb

OP posts:
CompareTheMeerkat · 25/02/2009 13:32

Is this the OP from the other thread on this subject?

Original poster
Mowgli21 · 25/02/2009 13:33

No Reality... it first happened before Christmas and I asked for it to be stopped... Apparently it was, our son never saw the boyfriend for a while... Then the holiday took place two weeks ago and the boyfriend appeared again......

OP posts:
CompareTheMeerkat · 25/02/2009 13:34

Have now read all of original thread and understand a bit more.

coppertop · 25/02/2009 13:34

She is your Ex and therefore it is none of your business whether or not she has a boyfriend.

It is also none of your business who she goes on holiday with.

Simplysally · 25/02/2009 13:37

I'm confuzzled now with both threads being open. Why not get one deleted?

Rhubarb · 25/02/2009 13:37

Right, so when your ds goes to stay with his mum, does he have his own room or is he forced to sleep with his mum through lack of space.

There is cause for concern here.

You mention your ds doesn't like this happening - how old is he? There are laws that cover this I'm sure. If the boy is over a certain age then your ex has to provide a room for him or else you could take her to court and claim full custody and stop your ds staying over at hers until she is able to provide him with a safe and secure place to sleep.

Original poster
Mowgli21 · 25/02/2009 13:39

Coppertop...... I am not concerned with te boyfriend or the holiday..... My concern is our son co-sleeping with another man

OP posts:
idonthaveanamerightnowVT · 25/02/2009 13:39

Sorry but i dont believe a word you say, especially after you tried to trick us

My bet is, you are very jealous that your ex now has a new partner so you are looking to cause problems for them

If they have all been on holiday together and slept in the same hotel room, i dont see a problem in that

I'm sorry but if your ex is denying she has a bf, then there is probably a good reason why, like your controlling behaviour and jealousy?

Swipe left for the next trending thread