Clean Slate- Should my ex be letting her boyfriend sleep with my son?

[Mowgli21]

Scenario is then...... All that I have said but forget the 'Hearsay'.....

Ex - Mother is allowing our son to sleep with her 'Boyfriend' should I be comfortable with that? Son does not like the situation. She denies that the boyfriend exists..... Yet she has just returned from holiday and son insists that the boyfriend was there.....

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion.... She is asking our son to lie, he does not like it which is why I get the information... As for whether I would use it against her or kick off then it is something I am not happy with, which is why I am seeking advice

TO you all if the cap fits wear it... And for something extra... In the financial hearing I got the marital home and all the contents as well..... The ex got nothing.. I am such a bad boy....

Now you can all go back to your pot and find another soul to stick your pins in.....

I have 50:50 because the court recognised that I am a good dad... I worked away and still achieved that..... SO it matters not who was he primary carer...... Join the real world and realise that while you are all sat at home beating people up on this site.... Times are changing....

At the end of the day, the only person that matters is your DS!!!

Well said Melscorp

To answer the question, is it ok for a new partner to co sleep with someone else's child, generally I'd think not.

Um Mowgli considering that mostof the women on here are AGREEING with you about your ex's sleeping arrangements, you are remarkable insulting. The problem the ladies have is with your lies.
Now, I agree that she shouldn't be co-sleeping with a v new boyfriend etc. BUT you reallly aren't doing yourself any favours here. You're coming across as downright nasty. So how do we know your ex isn't a lovely lady really??

I'm with Rhubarb on this, she talks sense. I haven't seen the other thread, but from what has been said on here I don't think there is anything wrong with being concerned because your child is unhappy about something. Of course you are going to want to do something about it.

And I think it's important that Mowgli's son feels able to raise things he isn't happy about with either parent. How awful would it be if the little boy thought "well I'm sad but I can't tell Dad because it happens at Mums" or vice versa.

Reality is not your only delusion....

FlimbleHobbs and Melscorp.... Thanks you are perfectly right..... I will do my best for him.......

I'm not at home i at work, and you really sound like a genuinely nice person (not)

Anyone who was trying to advise you fairly will now wish they had not bothered mowgli. Times aren't changing that much if men like you still imply that all women do is sit at home and act like witches.

Mowgli21 when you say you're done, and you're leaving because you got what you wanted from the posters here.... try to mean it.

Coming back to insult people will only make you look bad.

Get back to pressing your spiderman outfit..

Who knows the truth of that that man is saying? He's just out to have a go at his ex.

You know, maybe she let you have the home etc as a small price to pay for not battling this aggressive and nasty attitude. Maybe she wanted to move on ..it's not uncommon.

And despite what Fathers4Justice and all the other loons say it is near nigh impossible not to get decent custody rights if you want them. Perhaps she let you have that - again not uncommon.

The question wasn't is it right for my son to co-sleep it was how can I get at my ex because she's moved on and left me behind.

AnnVan... the nastiness is directed to those who deserve it..... I know I started off wrong and I have apologised... I have thanked those who have provided sensible advice for which I am very grateful....

the ex did get something...

she got the hell away from you

troll/abusive weirdo

whatever

Mowgli21 - I think you fail to understand why people are getting very angry with you. Many mothers on this site have been royally screwed over by partners, others have been in very destructive relationships, some are still in those relationships. Some mothers AND their children have been mentally scarred by selfish, abusive partners.

So do not take it so personally that they have a go at you for lying. I don't think you intended any malice, but you were clumsy and should have just stuck with the truth, you would have got your answers just the same. However engaging in a slanging match will not do you any favours.

I don't want to know the whys and wherefores of your arrangements with your ex. I gave you advice based on your OP and nothing more. I think you should graciously take that advice and think about your own attitude towards women.

This is a bit confusing but let me see if I understand. You are the father, you initially posted as if you were the mother, from the 'other side' as it were, to get opinions. Your ex has a partner that she has been seeing for a few months but doesn't live with, so it's what you call 'seeing', and this person sleeps in bed with your ex and your child, right?

Well, I realise that this has kicked off for some reason, which I'm not going to get involved in, cos I don't get it! but is it ok for a someone that a parent has been seeing for a few months to jump into the family bed and sleep alongside the kids - I suppose it's not wrong but it is certain not 'normal' in our society so that's why it feels wrong. I would not allow it because I would feel uncomfortable.

rhubarb, you are very kind

however, give a man enough rope......

"I feel sorry for your son because you've treated him like a possession too - going for the maximum amount of him you could get.",

ok I need to catch up on the other thread and this one but why does a father wanting 50/50 custody have to be a bad thing. Any parent shoud surely want to go for the 'maximum amount' of custody that is possible and fair?

This man was crowing about getting the order for shared residence. Courts bend over backwards to grant residence/access to men who want it.

The sad fact is that sometimes people don't stick to these orders but the enforcement of an order is different to the grant of the order in the first place.

It's very unusual if a court finds constant breaches of an order to be actually proved that they take no action as it is a contempt of court

Okay Rhubarb...... I take your point but people should not give what they can't take....

I am well aware of the difficulties that people have with the system and particularly with bad partners...... I am not one of those despite what others think.....

This whole process is about the kids and what is best for them.... But the reality is that we forget that in our struggle to control, manipulate and just get one over on the other partner.... I am sad that my relationship finished the way it did..... But I have to move on for our son's sake..... He is my priority and I will never forget that...... When he is happy then I will be and I will not rest until that happens.....

So I hope everyone's situation works out in a way that is best for their kids..... I am sorry that life is a shit sometimes but we should all take a look back and see how we got ourselves into that position.... I have and addressed it and will move forward in a manner that I feel is best for my son until he is ready to make his own decisions.....

Bye Bye