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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my 2 yo daughter to look pretty?!

202 replies

mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 15:59

My brother is getting married this year and I found the 'perfect' dress for my 2 yo to wear. But now I've been told she is NOT allowed to wear it because it's prettier than the dress they've bought their daughter (who is a bridesmaid). The dress they have bought for her is quite basic so I might as well dress DD in a sack!

AIBU??

OP posts:
cmotdibbler · 13/01/2009 16:02

Can you link to it so we can decide ?

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 13/01/2009 16:02

It doesn't matter, it really doesn't.

thisisyesterday · 13/01/2009 16:02

hmm well i don't think they can dictate what people to their wedding wear.
I am sure their little girl will look lovely, they should be focussing on geting married, not whether other 2 yr olds might have a nicer dress than theirs!!!
how bizarre.

if you wanted to keep the peace get a diff dress. but don't show it to them this time! lol

nappyaddict · 13/01/2009 16:03

Yes link please

bronze · 13/01/2009 16:03

when did people start dictating what guests wear to weddings.
I just wouldn't mention it anymore and then stick her in it on the day.

RedOnHerHead · 13/01/2009 16:03

you shouldn't have said anything and just turned up with her in it.
Difficult situation to be in.
Don't know what to suggest.
Have you spoken to your SIL to be about it?
I have to say, I would be inclined to put her in it anyway - people have a right to choose what their children wear.

noonki · 13/01/2009 16:05

Take back the dress, get a different one, and as thisisyesterday said, don't show it to them.

Jesus haven't they got other things to worry about

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 16:06

cgi.ebay.co.uk/BNWT-Pink-Wedding-Party-Flower-Girl-Dress-18-24-Months_W0QQitemZ370138949348QQ ihZ024QQcategoryZ14738QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262#ebayphotohosting

ROHH, DH said to put her in it anyway but I'm not that sort of person! I really wish I'd never shown anybody now

OP posts:
stillstanding · 13/01/2009 16:06

Not at all. But if the dress you have chosen is a little bridesmaidsy and you will end up upstaging the real bridesmaid (which it sounds like your SIL thinks you are) then I think YABU.

I can't bear all this dictating to at weddings but at the same time it is their day and you should focus on making it a good one for them.

IdrisTheDragon · 13/01/2009 16:06

When friends of ours got married, DD wore the (bridesmaid) dress she wore to my sister's wedding. We did check first that they didn't mind her looking like a bridesmaid but they didn't. Probably if they had she'd have worn something else.

I can possibly see if the dress you've chosen for your DD is very "bridesmaidy" they might have a bit of a point but I think you should just dress your DD in what you like really

LiffeyMermaid · 13/01/2009 16:07

I agree with Chequers. It doesn't matter.

Also, their wedding, they don't want people thinking that your daughter is their bridesmaid.

Let their daughter be the queen bee, it's their day.

muddleduck · 13/01/2009 16:07

let her wear the dress and say that you assumed that they were joking

nappyaddict · 13/01/2009 16:07

After seeing the dress I think you are being a bit unreasonable. It even says it is a bridesmaid/flower girl dress in the title and it is hardly basic

noonki · 13/01/2009 16:07

having looked at link it is very like a bridesmaid dress...

did you want her to be a bridesmaid? go on you can tell us (I would have if my bro was getting married )

stillstanding · 13/01/2009 16:08

I'm afraid I think that is ttoo much like a bridesmaid's dress and there is a very real chance that other's at the wedding would think your DD is the bridesmaid instead of their daughter ...

thisisyesterday · 13/01/2009 16:08

hmm it is a bit OTT and "bridesmaidy" I can kind of see their point!

if that's what you call basic I'd love to see her dressed up lol

idobelieveinfairies · 13/01/2009 16:09

it is a bit bridesmaidy..how about a nice dress from monsoon??

thisisyesterday · 13/01/2009 16:09

it's even marketed as a bridesmaids dress.

i think i would change it

IdrisTheDragon · 13/01/2009 16:09

Having looked at it, the dress you're looking at does look very bridemaidy - I can see that it might look a bit as if your DD is a bridesmaid.

muddleduck · 13/01/2009 16:10

changed my mind having seen the dress.

to me that is a dress that someone would only wear if they were a bridesmaid.

thisisyesterday · 13/01/2009 16:10

yeah monsoon have some lovely stuff in,. you might even get something in the sale

DandyLioness · 13/01/2009 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 16:11

Ha ha no I didn't mind her not being a bridesmaid! That dress is the sort of dress I'd put my DD in for any party. It also says 'party' dress. I do understand it is a bit 'bridesmaidy' but is it my fault they haven't chosen a prettier dress for their DD.

AND, who exactly will be looking at my DD except me and DH anyway lol

OP posts:
LiffeyMermaid · 13/01/2009 16:11

SIL probably thinks her taste is simple, elegant, understated, classy...

she doesn't want your dd wandering round in a toilet roll holder reflecting badly on her eqsuisite taste on her big day.

Nemoandthefishes · 13/01/2009 16:11

sorry the clue is in the title of the ebay listing..it is essentially a bridesmaids dress so YABU. they want their daughter to have a special day with them which is fair enough