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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my 2 yo daughter to look pretty?!

202 replies

mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 15:59

My brother is getting married this year and I found the 'perfect' dress for my 2 yo to wear. But now I've been told she is NOT allowed to wear it because it's prettier than the dress they've bought their daughter (who is a bridesmaid). The dress they have bought for her is quite basic so I might as well dress DD in a sack!

AIBU??

OP posts:
Original poster
mylifemykids · 14/01/2009 16:49

'So, you are going to dress your DD in the merang (cant spell) dress, despite the fact that you know it is going to upset the bride? nice'

Um, no I've already said I'm not going to!

I'm quite offended by the fact that people feel the need to say the dress is hideous when I never actually asked your opinion on it. So people have different tastes, how boring life would be if that weren't the case

OP posts:
KewcumbersRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 14/01/2009 16:54

you asked if you were being unreasionable to want your daughter to look pretty.

Think in that case its fair game to point out that she's more likely to look like a US beauty show pageant queen... but if thats the look you were aiming for, fair enough.

combustiblelemon · 14/01/2009 17:01

"That dress is a horror. No wonder they dont want your DD wearing it. It looks like a bridesmaid dress so they probably dont want people thinking they chose it!!!"

I agree completely 2pt4kids. They've come up with an excuse to avoid saying that the dress is vile and tacky.

Original poster
mylifemykids · 14/01/2009 17:04

I wouldn't have been so offended if people had said 'IMO' because IMO I think the dress is pretty and princess like.

Like I said I wasn't asking for views on the dress but the fact that I'd been told what I can't dress my own daughter in

OP posts:
combustiblelemon · 14/01/2009 17:08

It is princess-like (leaving the issue of spaghetti straps tp one side) but more dressing up box princess-like than wear to a wedding princess-like.

LucyEllensmummy · 14/01/2009 17:27

Sorry, i didnt see that you said that you wasnt gonig to put her in the merrangue - sorry, but it IS merrange like (notice the erratic speeling) there is no getting away from it - but i did say previously that i liked the dress!!! I just think as far a wedding goes, its a fashion faux pas!

Go away and breathe, put the merrange away for another party and get another pretty dress and enjoy the wedding.

Original poster
mylifemykids · 14/01/2009 17:37

I haven't bought it, I only showed them the link (thankfully!). I do understand that it's 'bridesmaidy' but it wasn't to offend anybody, I just liked the dress and as it wasn't the colour of the bridesmaids I assumed it wouldn't matter. I accept I was wrong!

OP posts:
meemar · 14/01/2009 17:51

Mylifemykids, fwiw I don't think you were wrong.

Irrespective of opinions of the dress itself, your bro and sil should not dictate what guests wear to the wedding, especially other peoples children! If they wanted to decide what your dd can and can't wear then they should have made her a bridesmaid and chosen her outfit themselves.

What will they do if other little girls show up in similar types of dress? It's perfectly feasible.

Just don't show them the next dress you choose, you don't need their approval.

NotADragonOfSoup · 14/01/2009 17:52

Look at the topic disclaimer just above the top post

"Note: This topic, as you might guess from its title, encourages posters to take sides. This means that posters tend to express their opinions. If you don't want to read posts from people who might strongly disagree with you, you might prefer to post in a different topic area on our site. "

Original poster
mylifemykids · 14/01/2009 17:58

I'm not sure what the relevance of that is notadragonofsoup

If that's because I said I didn't ask for people's opinions on the dress, I also said I wouldn't have been offended if people had just used 'IMO'. I knew some people wouldn't like the dress and I knew what those people would say but I think it's just rude to say 'that dress is vile'!

I'm allowed to think people are rude!

OP posts:
hullygully · 14/01/2009 18:34

I agree with OP re rudeness even tho I think all this is made up.

Original poster
mylifemykids · 14/01/2009 18:37

Why would it be made up?! What a strange comment!!!

OP posts:
LucyEllensmummy · 14/01/2009 18:45

Ah, you haven't bought it - phew - i can say what i really think - its a horrible dress, cheap and tacky and im so glad you haven't bought it and i actually think that you will look back and be rather glad that you didnt buy it. Monsoon have a great sale on just now - there was some really lovely stuff still on the shelves - get thee to monsoon sharpish woman - you know it makes sense! That way you can out do your SIL with class not frills - monsoon is just plain pretty.

HelenBurns · 14/01/2009 19:16

I think it's rude to be vicious about the dress. Obviously the OP liked it, there's no need to be mean.

You can deconstruct her whole situation and voice strong opinions all without saying it's a revolting, nasty, terrible dress. Which possibly it isn't.

TheLadyEvenstar · 14/01/2009 19:20

ihZ024QQcategoryZ14738QQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262#ebayphotohosting

piscesmoon · 14/01/2009 19:34

If you post a picture on here at least half the posters are going to hate it!
I haven't looked at the link-I just think it a bit unkind to stand out more than the bridesmaid.

piscesmoon · 14/01/2009 19:34

If you post a picture on here at least half the posters are going to hate it!
I haven't looked at the link-I just think it a bit unkind to stand out more than the bridesmaid.

piscesmoon · 14/01/2009 19:35

oops! sorry.

NotADragonOfSoup · 14/01/2009 19:42

"If you don't want to read posts from people who might strongly disagree with you, you might prefer to post in a different topic area on our site"

We strongly disagree with your choice of dress. If you want tippytoeing niceties, don't post in AIBU. If you post a link to the dress, of course you're going to get comments. The original dress is clearly a bridesmaid's dress, not a guest-at-the-wedding dress. the Monsoon dress you linked to later is clearly a guest-at-the- wedding dress and not a bridesmaid's dress. Did they actually use the phrase "prettier than the dress our DDi wearing"??

RubyRioja · 14/01/2009 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mylifemykids · 14/01/2009 19:51

I knew some people would strongly disagree hence the reason I didn't post it in my original post. When people asked to see it I thought 'what the hell' and posted it anyway. I'm not saying people have to agree with my choice of dress, I just think the words some people used were just rude and unnecessary!

As soon as SIL said their DD's dress wasn't as pretty (yes their words) then I knew I couldn't let my DD wear it. I was just peeved at being told she couldn't wear what I wanted MY DD to wear and came on here to rant about it

And I've admitted I was being unreasonable

OP posts:
combustiblelemon · 14/01/2009 22:10

Apologies Mylifemykids. You're right, I could have put my point across without being so harsh.

DyingForAFag · 15/01/2009 09:29

Err the whole point of attending a wedding is to have a chance to dress up surely so I don't think the OP is being unreasonable to buy the dress. My DD used to wear similar dresses to parties (I assume there will be one after the wedding ceremony)when she was that age an everyone has their own taste's, just because I may not like a particular style of dress, I would never tell someone not to buy it!!

I think the SIL is being precious and petty and probably has other ishoos and I would be inclined to tell her that my DD will wear what I want her to wear and she should have been a bridesmaid anyway!!

LucyEllensmummy · 15/01/2009 09:46

I apologise too if i have been percieved as being rude. But i was kind about the dress until i found out she didn't buy it. I was actually saying, you know what, the dress is shite, glad you didnt buy it actually - go and buy something nicer - if the op HAD, which i appreciate that she didn't, come on asking for opinions about the dress, my answer would have been uggghhhhh don't buy it, BUT if she had already bought it - then i would have probably kept my mouth shut.

Thing is, this is something and nothing, the OP will now go off and buy a nicer dress - agree, don't show it to your SIL, hopefully the wedding will be lovely, the children will all look wonderful in the pictures and in years to come when they look at the wedding photo - no one is going to remember the hoo ha over the pink merrange! Which incidentally my DD would love , but thats cos she is a big girly girl (and i am, as you can see, not )

Original poster
mylifemykids · 15/01/2009 09:55

LOL I'm SO not a girly girl either but my DD has decided pink is the only colour! I just wanted her to wear something she'd feel like a princess in (in her eyes) but I wont do now.

I can just imagine the screaming and refusal to get dressed on the day of the wedding because her dress isn't what she wanted. I'll just take her in her nappy and vest if that's the case!

OP posts: