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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my 2 yo daughter to look pretty?!

202 replies

mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 15:59

My brother is getting married this year and I found the 'perfect' dress for my 2 yo to wear. But now I've been told she is NOT allowed to wear it because it's prettier than the dress they've bought their daughter (who is a bridesmaid). The dress they have bought for her is quite basic so I might as well dress DD in a sack!

AIBU??

OP posts:
DandyLioness · 13/01/2009 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JammyQueenOfTheNewYear · 13/01/2009 20:41

Just to give you the other end of the spectrum, my DD is being bridesmaid to my niece this summer. DD will be just 2. We got her dress from Woolies in the autumn (before we knew they were closing) and with a friend's staff discount got it for £9.60!

piscesmoon · 13/01/2009 22:35

It is a shame to involve children in a personal dislike. It doesn't matter what OP thinks of the SIL, or whether she is being bridezilla-it is simply not fair to upstage a bridesmaid.

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 22:42

I wasn't going to put my DD in a dress just because I'm not SIL's biggest fan!! I like the dress (OK so others don't, personal choice) and, like I said, I'd put my DD in a dress like that for a family party.

My 'dislike' for SIL had nothing to do with it. I'd have been equally annoyed to be told DD couldn't wear a certain thing to any person's wedding.

And the bridesmaid in question is 2 (just) so I don't imagine she'd actually care what others are wearing.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 13/01/2009 23:28

YABU. That dress looks like a bridesmaid dress. Take it back and get something a bit less bridesmaidy. Ther are a lot of prety dresses around that are not brideswmaid dresses.

Minxie1977 · 13/01/2009 23:41

YANBU - How you dress your DD is totally your choice and I don't see how you can upstage a 2 year old. SIL should get a grip. Yes it is her big day so surely she has better things to worry about

BTW I haven't read all this so may be out of the loop

claw3 · 13/01/2009 23:48

You bought your DD a bridesmaid dress to wear to your SIL's wedding even though she isnt a bridesmaid hmm

What on earth will you be wearing, a pretty white dress?

piscesmoon · 14/01/2009 07:40

I think that you need to put yourself in your SIL position-you plan a wedding with your DD as centre of attention as bridesmaid and then your niece turns up looking far prettier and cuter so that everyone is cooing over her and ignoring the bridesmaid. It isn't nice; she can look perfectly cute without dressing as a bridesmaid. Of course the 2 year old bridesmaid won't care-that isn't the point.

HelenBurns · 14/01/2009 07:47

This one doesn't have spaghetti straps.

junkcollector · 14/01/2009 10:21

I think your SIl is trying to avoid 2 year old tantrums on her wedding day.

Wish I had girl to dress in sparkly dresses

(Have no opinion on spaghetti straps, although wouldn't put my boys in them.)

LucyEllensmummy · 14/01/2009 10:52

OMG!!!! i am gobsmacked - perhaps they think your dress is too flouncy and OTT and have used the words prettier than, rather than upset you. PErhaps they feel plain and understated is prettier hence getting if for their DD.

" I do understand it is a bit 'bridesmaidy' but is it my fault they haven't chosen a prettier dress for their DD."

Has to be in my top ten for most bitchy comments ive ever seen on mumsnet to date. You need to get over yourself a bit and respect the fact that it is their day and having their DD as the bridesmade will be soo special for them, and her - why would you want to out pretty them FGS? There REALLY are more important things going on in the world

LucyEllensmummy · 14/01/2009 10:54

It was blatantly obvious to me that you are trying to have a dig at the bride even before i read that you don't like her. But to do it via your children is vile.

LucyEllensmummy · 14/01/2009 11:03

OK - so have looked at the link, its a lovely dress, albiet a bit frilly for my liking - i can see why you like it, but in all honesty - its a bridesmaids dress, other than that it looks like a dressing up dress or a ballet dress. You can still put your DD in a beautiful dress, of course you can, and SHOULD do so - but i would be going for something a little less trying to be grown up (i don't like bare shoulders on LOs) and something more classic - monsoon immediately springs to mind. I would be going for class instead of frills tbh. OF course the children wont mind but i think that the only people dressing as princesses should be the bride and her bridesmaids.

tootyflooty · 14/01/2009 11:33

It is a very pretty dress. but unless it is the same colour that is being used as the wedding theme and your dd is having flowers in her hair and carrying a posy i think they are being a little harsh. For my wedding, I even brought my baby neice the same dress as my 2 dd's as we were only having our children as attendants, but I thought she would look sweet.Weddings don't always bring out the best in people.tbh you don't get to dress kids up much and they soon get to an age when they won't wear what you like anyway so make the most of it.I think they are probably stressed out by the planning. Maybe have a chat with them once they have calmed down. They may be on a tight budget and your dd dress is something they would have liked for their own dd

sausagenmash · 14/01/2009 11:56

Aagagagaaaagggh helenburns please tell me you're not serious!!!

Original poster
mylifemykids · 14/01/2009 14:38

tootyflooty you have just said what I started to type this morning but just couldn't be bothered! I don't see why people would think her a bridesmaid because pink isn't the colour scheme.

'" I do understand it is a bit 'bridesmaidy' but is it my fault they haven't chosen a prettier dress for their DD." Why is that bitchy?! Maybe I haven't worded it very well. what I should have said is they should have chosen a more bridesmaid style dress if they don't want other children being mistaken for bridesmaidss(from what I've heard it is a monsoony type dress anyway so there's a good chance anything I choose will be seen as similar to their DD's dress..does that make sense)

And I'm not having a dig at the bride via my children. I like the dress, I dress my DD in pretty frilly dresses at any party and my family know that.

OP posts:
HelenBurns · 14/01/2009 16:10

How dare you Sausage.

I bought one for Ds last week. He looks lovely in it.

NotADragonOfSoup · 14/01/2009 16:22

The dress you've chosen is hideous. They are doing you a favour telling you your DD can't wear it.

NotADragonOfSoup · 14/01/2009 16:27

That Monsoon dress you linked to is far prettier and more appropriate though.

LucyEllensmummy · 14/01/2009 16:32

So, you are going to dress your DD in the merang (cant spell) dress, despite the fact that you know it is going to upset the bride? nice

J2O · 14/01/2009 16:36

hasn't the op already said that she isn't going to put her dd in the dress now?! Tbh, if its not even the same colour scheme then i can't see the problem, can you mention it again to your sil?

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 14/01/2009 16:39

I do think you have big isues with your SIL to be.

Avoid the wedding colours and stick to a nice simple party dress that can be worn again, that way every one wins

It's not really rocket science.

And FWIW the orignal suggestion would be horrendous on a 2 year old (not to mention it would get in the way of serious fun crawling under the tables with the cousins!! )

MrsMagooo · 14/01/2009 16:41

Whilst YANBU to want your DD to look pretty, I myself love nothing more then a good excuse to dress DD in a pretty frock, having looked at the link I can see your SILs POV.

It does a look a little to much like a bridesmaid dress.

KewcumbersRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 14/01/2009 16:41

you're not seriously going to put your DD in that are you? By choice?

meemar · 14/01/2009 16:41

YANBU. Your db and sil need to get over themselves.

When DH and I got married we didn't have bridesmaids but two neices turned up in very bridesmaidy dresses with little posies of flowers!

Everyone thought they were bridesmaids. SO WHAT??

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