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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my 2 yo daughter to look pretty?!

202 replies

mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 15:59

My brother is getting married this year and I found the 'perfect' dress for my 2 yo to wear. But now I've been told she is NOT allowed to wear it because it's prettier than the dress they've bought their daughter (who is a bridesmaid). The dress they have bought for her is quite basic so I might as well dress DD in a sack!

AIBU??

OP posts:
beanieb · 13/01/2009 18:53

looks to me like you have decided to buy your daughter a bridesmaids dress for some reason (it says flower girl dress on the listing) which IMO (Have just read the first post) is a bit strange.

Are you secretly pissed off that your brother hasn't asked her to be a bridesmaid?

Metatron · 13/01/2009 19:15

Interesting. My inlaws dressed their 2 yr old in a cream silk bridesmaid dress for my wedding.

I didn't realise until years later tbh. I think in retrospect they were probably miffed that she wasn't a flower girl but I er didn't think about it as she wasn't walking when I was booking/organising and never occured to me that children grow in 9 months

LIZS · 13/01/2009 19:23

Way too ott for a guest - sorry yabu, there's plenty of choice of other more suitable dresses.

pamelat · 13/01/2009 19:25

I thought they were being unreasonable until I saw the dress, its very bridesmaid like.

I don't think its about pretty versus not pretty? Just about upstaging the wedding party.

It would be like a guest turning up in a white wedding "type" dress, just inappropriate.

If they did not have children then I would say let DD wear it but its just one day, keep them happy and get something very pretty but not as wedding party like from Monsoon.

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 13/01/2009 19:25

This thread is funny though, because whenever there's a thread on here where someone is miffed that their DD hasn't been asked to be a bridesmaid the response is always to get her a really pretty dress.

pagwatch · 13/01/2009 19:28

but I don;t think the advice is to get her a really pretty bridesmaid dress is it?

I would choose something else to be honest. I would be a bit worried about strating fires with the first one.

And your DD does not need a dress to be pretty BTW

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 19:31

I'm not at all miffed at her not being a bridesmaid! There are WAY too many nieces/nephews in our family and it would have been a case of if they'd asked one they'd have had to ask them all. If you read back through then you'll see I've said I can see why some people would think it too 'bridesmaidy'. My DD went to 3 weddings last year and wore dresses which could be classed as bridesmaid dresses, nobody was bothered by what she was wearing!

I'm looking for something else now anyway

OP posts:
pamelat · 13/01/2009 19:31

Yep you can get beautiful things without looking like a bridesmaid.

Monsoon have 70% off their dresses at the moment, I got one for £7.20!

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 13/01/2009 19:33

I know, I'm not saying your miffed mylife, or that people are told to get bridesmaid dresses. It's just tickled me.

It always tickles me when people get all guestzilla though.

stillstanding · 13/01/2009 19:34

Pamelat, I think the distinction you have made is quite right.

If it was just the couple the OP could offend, then it's not really a big deal as they will get over it. But really the person most likely at risk to get upset is their DD and that would be awful and just not worth it.

Tidey · 13/01/2009 19:35

I know someone who always dresses her daughter in 'bridesmaid' type dresses whenever she attends a wedding, so that the little girl looks as though she was a bridesmaid in the photos. I think it's rather pushy. I'm not saying you've done the same thing, but it can come across like that.

Since you've told them about it and they've asked you to put her something else, I don't think there's much you can do but abide by their wishes.

Tillyscoutsmum · 13/01/2009 19:41

Oooh - if you want an 18-24 month flowergirl dress, then buy mine (on profile). Its silver as well so double whammy to your SIL

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 19:45

Shhh you'll figure out I don't like my SIL to be if you keep on lol

I LOVE your wedding dress..can I buy that instead?

OP posts:
twentypence · 13/01/2009 19:46

Are they telling all the nieces and nephews what to wear?

If they don't want their dd to wear frills then fair enough - but I don't think they can tell people who aren't in the wedding party what to wear.

Tillyscoutsmum · 13/01/2009 19:47

By all means Its not lilac or purple is it ? So obviously well within the required "dress code"

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 19:48

twentypence, they did want all the nieces in the same but for them not to be bridesmaids (go figure)

I put my foot down with that one

OP posts:
Tillyscoutsmum · 13/01/2009 19:52

What ??! Like kind of "sub" bridesmaids ?. Jaysus

pagwatch · 13/01/2009 19:55

But Tilly thats a great idea.
Get understudies!

Flower girl has a hissy fit? Whip her out and bring on a sub..

Bridesmaid turns up looking a bit plian? Bring on a prettier version.

Its what God would have wanted when he planned this whole wedding thing. Along with small boxes with just two chocolates in.

It is certainly what has held my marriage together

OrmIrian · 13/01/2009 19:57

Don't worry. Your DD will be pretty anyway. Does DD care?

morningpaper · 13/01/2009 20:13

She sounds like a bridezilla

My girls wear stuff like that EVERY DAY (ok not spaghetti straps)

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS · 13/01/2009 20:14

Knew it! Knew you didn't like your SIL!

Mutt · 13/01/2009 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mazzystartled · 13/01/2009 20:18

I think you should dress her howsoever you wish

But I do think the dress you linked to is horrid - tis a bit too american beauty pageant for my taste.

Mutt · 13/01/2009 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tillyscoutsmum · 13/01/2009 20:24

Pagwatch - the more I think about it, the more I think bridesmaid understudies would have been great. I could have substituted dd in the photos for a child who's nose wasn't running

OK OP - she sounds like a bridezilla but I think you have to tone down your dd's dress anyway - just to keep the family peace. some lovely dress here/ Just keep out of the bridesmaid section, will you ?!