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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want my 2 yo daughter to look pretty?!

202 replies

mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 15:59

My brother is getting married this year and I found the 'perfect' dress for my 2 yo to wear. But now I've been told she is NOT allowed to wear it because it's prettier than the dress they've bought their daughter (who is a bridesmaid). The dress they have bought for her is quite basic so I might as well dress DD in a sack!

AIBU??

OP posts:
memoo · 13/01/2009 16:11

UABU

stillstanding · 13/01/2009 16:11

(Thisisyesterday, I think the OP was saying that the dress the couple bought their daughter (ie the real bridesmaid) is basic not that her DD's dress was basic.)

nappyaddict · 13/01/2009 16:12

this is nice

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 16:13

No I said THEIR daughter's dress is basic!! I know that one definitely isn't!

OK I get I'm being a bit unreasonable but it just p'd me off being told she couldn't wear it!

OP posts:
SammyK · 13/01/2009 16:13

I was prepared to defend our choice of what she could wear, but it is very bridesmaidy, I wouldn't put it on her, i will just cause bad feeling on a special family event. Would you go wearing a dress like the one you have bought your dd??

There are plenty of gorgeous girls dresses that don't look bridesmaid like.

hullygully · 13/01/2009 16:13

Are you related to Jesus...?

LiffeyMermaid · 13/01/2009 16:13

I think spaghetti straps are inappropriate on a child. JMO.

thisisyesterday · 13/01/2009 16:13

oh sorry yes, i didn't read that properly!

i think what you need though is something that is blatantly NOT bridesmaidy.
something like this maybe?

very pretty, definitely not a "sack"

muddleduck · 13/01/2009 16:14

fwiw my niece wore a dress very similar to this to my wedding. Everyone assumed she was a flower girl even though she wasn't and apart from the dress there was no reason to think that she was. Didn't bother me as I only had one adult bridesmaid (and she did look lovely!)
Much as I hate bridezillas I think this is one to back down on. A bit like not wearing white.

nappyaddict · 13/01/2009 16:14

what about this?

or if you want pink this

gorgeous but simpler

MrsGrouchoMarxMerryHenry · 13/01/2009 16:14

Your bro is being very unreasonable and silly. This is just out-and-out jealousy, and it could even indicate that he thinks your DD is prettier full stop and is jealous of that, too (it might not necessarily mean that, though, so don't get a big head! ).

Is your heart set on this dress? Maybe you could offer to find an equally pretty one for your niece as a replacement for the sack he bought her ? Or, as someone else said, buy an alternative and show no-one. Then let your DD wear dress no 1 as often as possible - don't save it for best, just enjoy her looking gorgeous every day of the week!

nametaken · 13/01/2009 16:14

YABU - you've chosen a bridesmaids dress and your dd isn't a bridesmaid.

As the others said, Monsoon.

sitdownpleasegeorge · 13/01/2009 16:15

nappyaddict is right, the dress is a bridesmaid/flower girl dress.

YABU and IMHO your thread title is a bit unreasonable too.

Your dd could look very pretty in many many other non-bridesmaid looking dresses just because the one your Bro ans SIL have chosen for their daughter is plain doesn't stop you choosing something pretty but it would be tactful to avoid going for something that so obviously says "look at me".

stillstanding · 13/01/2009 16:16

What's wrong with spaghetti straps, Liffey? Think they are lovely on children.

Now strapless I would understand ...

StarlightMcKenzie · 13/01/2009 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

idobelieveinfairies · 13/01/2009 16:16

yeah- i was wondering what is wrong with spaghetti straps too?

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 16:17

Oooo I like the first one you post Nappyaddict (sorry don't like the ones in your 2nd post!)

Thisisyesterday...DD isn't 'allowed' to wear lilac/purple or silver either lol

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 13/01/2009 16:17

that dress is jus not going to loo right on a two year old in my honest opinion anyway.

i would have been a little bemused if a relative of mine had decided to dres stheir daughter like a bridesmaid for my wedding if she hadn't been asked to be.
Anyway - why do you think your dd needs pink lace and frills to look pretty??? she will look pretty whatever you out her in and i would sugest something more comfortable for her if she is going to be wearing it for anytime

noonki · 13/01/2009 16:17

that other one is lovely thisisyesterday (oh for a girl

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 16:18

That's a great idea starlight. Do you think a red wedding dress would be OTT?

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 13/01/2009 16:19

these stardust dresses are lovely and bright.

Original poster
mylifemykids · 13/01/2009 16:19

OK I admit IABU. I'm just sulking!

OP posts:
MrsGrouchoMarxMerryHenry · 13/01/2009 16:19

Am I missing something here - the dress is actually marketed as 'Wedding/ party/ flowergirl' - i.e. it's not exclusively marketed as a bridesmaid/ wedding girl dress. It comes down to taste, doesn't it - it's not to my taste but I don't think it's extravagantly dressy.

Do your bro and SIL have financial probs? Maybe they're unable to spend lots on a special dress for their DD?

Dropdeadfred · 13/01/2009 16:19

are you also going to buy a brides dress for yourself??? (that's prettier than the brides of course)

stillstanding · 13/01/2009 16:20

Mylife, I get where you are coming from on the bridezilla thing, I really do but at the same time I don't think it is unreasonable for the couple to not want your DD to look part of the wedding party if she is not.

If the bridesmaids are wearing lilac/silver then it would be a bit odd if your DD turned up in those colours.