to encourage my 16 year old babysitter to shag her equally 16 year old boyf?

[misshardbroom]

I have a sometime babysitter who is 16 and in year 12 or Lower Sixth or whatever. I don't leave my children with her at night, she just occasionally covers an hour and a half for me on a Saturday between DH going out to coach rugby on a Saturday and me getting in from work. She's a very young 16 in a lot of ways, not very streetwise really but very respectable and sensible.

Anyway, she has been seeing her boyfriend for about 8 weeks, I don't know him but he sounds OK and she really likes him.

This afternoon she texted me as I was leaving work and said would I be able to pick up some form of sanitary towels for her on my way in as she had come 'on' and didn't have anything. I told her to help herself from the bathroom but I only keep Tampax in and she doesn't use them so of course I said yes I would. Then she texted back and said would I also be able to get her some condoms.

I got them for her because I figured that if she's sleeping with her boyfriend then it's better she has the wherewithal to do it safely. And she's 16, as is he, so the entire thing is legal, if perhaps less than ideal.

However, I'm a bit uncomfortable about it because I don't know how I'd feel if in 10 years or so, someone was buying my teenage daughter condoms.

I don't really know her mum (i.e. definitely not in a position to say 'hello, do you know your daughter is having sex?'), but although my babysitter sees me as her friend, her mum is only 40 so just a few years older than I am myself.

But then, would it be worse to say no, and then her go ahead and sleep with him anyway and end up pg or with chlamydia or other nasties?

what would you have done?

[cantpickyourfamily]

I think it is strange for her to ask you to buy them, I don't like buying them myself and I am an adult.

But I'm not sure what you should have done? I agree with you it is better to be protected but would not be happy about my 16 year old having sex or someone buying her condoms.

I just think she really should have bought them herself or got her bf to, not you...

[brimfull]

bit weird asking tbh

I would suggest the boy go and get them..if they are old enough to shag they are old enough to go and get some condoms

[anyfucker]

hang on a mo.... not everyone is grossed out by having sex during a period.....

however, the more I think about this, the stranger it seems

something isn't adding up

[Blondeshavemorefun]

i think weird things sometimes stealth polar bear

nuttytaff - doesnt make any diference if the girl had her period, if she isnt on the pill etc then needs contraception as you can still get pregnant when on your period, though obv much rarer, and obv condoms protect against std's

or did you mean, she shouldnt have sex if has her period?

dh and i do regardless - prob tmi

[StealthPolarBear]

Ineedmorechoc - I would rather buy myself (sling them in a trolley of stuff at the supermarket) than ask someone else (technically my boss!) to buy them for me!

[brimfull]

and what on earth is wrong with a 16 yr babysitter?

[StealthPolarBear]

lol Blondes, me too! I get accused of "thinking too hard"

[MegBusset]

I would have got the condoms this time but I would have said that next time she should go to her GP, Brook Centre or family planning clinic as she can get them for free.

I would far, far rather any teenage daughter of mine was getting condoms bought for her by anyone than having unprotected sex and risking pregnancy and STIs.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

polar - have to try and keep this blondes brain ticking over somehow!!

anyone else have sex during their period - or is it just me?

[Ineedmorechocolatenow]

I assume you're not 16 though StealthPolarBear.... it might be a bit more excrutiating for her to fling them in her trolley (as she may not do the weekly shop and would have to go in specifically for them)....

Just a thought.....

[2shoes]

misshardbroom well done for getting them for her.ds is 16 and if he was doing the deed I would be glad if someone covered that base for him iynwim.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

true taff - at 16 i prob wouldnt have wanted to have sex if i had my period, but now much more mature and dont give a toss

[StealthPolarBear]

true, would have still rather picked them up with a magazine or whatever than ask someone else.
What do you mean you assume I'm not 16?? I knew I should have bought that wrinkle cream!

[Blondeshavemorefun]

if she wasnt playing a joke, then tell her to go to her local fpc - as contraception/condoms are free she will save a fortune!!

they are bloody exp for what they are imo

[Ineedmorechocolatenow]

Lol! It's that you looked more 17 to me.....!

[StealthPolarBear]

[Ineedmorechocolatenow]

chocolate's always a winner......

[Blondeshavemorefun]

as is wine

[Ivykaty44]

I am 41 and I have a 16 year old dd

If my dd was babysitting for you and she asked you to get her a packet of condoms and it stopped her getting pg or a nasty disease that could kill her or make her infertile - I can assure you I would say thank you for being a mature friend to my dd.

[Ronaldinhio]

I can't find the am i being un/reasonable here....?

what were you reasonable or unreasonable about?

[emma1977]

Firstly, she's probably embarrassed about buying her own condoms. Secondly, this scenario is screaming cue at me- she is probably also wanting to talk to someone older that she respects about her being (or intending to be) sexually active. She may be feeling pressured to do the business and not know how to say 'no' or she may be frightened because it will be her first sexual relationship. Either way, I think she is looking for your support.

It probably wouldn't do her any harm in telling her that FPCs give out free condoms and confidential testing for STIs and pregnancy.

I personally would buy her condoms if I were in your situation. If she didn't have any, she may well go ahead without.

[Ivykaty44]

When i worked with a few young lads - now all married in their late 20's. They would insist on condoms for oral sex to stop spread of disease, I was a bit but apparently it was taught in school that it was best practice so was or still is the norm.

[nooka]

I think the condom request is a little strange, but I don't think it will encourage shagging. I would however have a little chat with the babysitter on my return, let her know where condoms (and advice) can be got for free, and try to get an idea as to whether she seems happy about having sex. If she is a young sixteen year old I would worry a little.