DP and facebook. Again.

[zephyrcat]

AIBU? Possibly.

We had all this once before. DP being a bit over friendly with women he doesn't know adding him on FB. Nothing untoward, just typical ego boosting crap for a middle age man!!

Anyhow, there is a woman who added him because she knows friends of ours. She didn't add me though (hadn't thought of that til now!) She bombarded him with hugs and kisses and best friends crap from various applications. Their chats are just friendly but very 'babe' 'hun' 'xxxxx' and dp doesn't type like that whatsoever until it's her.
I'm a little peeved as his partner and the mother of our children to say the least!

I kicked off a little tonight and asked him to leave his FB page on if he had nothing to hide (he's out tonight) and he did - very reluctantly. This is the conversation they had tonight: (it's her b'day today)

4:13pmMartin
life begins today !!!!!! lol how you doing!!

4:13pmClaire
dying! lol

4:13pmMartin
lol

4:14pmClaire
just about to go into pool! wanna join me? haha

i see u beat me to it! haha

4:16pmMartin
early bird and all that!!!!!! lol

4:16pmClaire
are u calling me a worm????? lol

4:17pmMartin
why you want to be caugh??

4:20pmClaire
haha!!! depends whos doing the catching!!!! lol xx

4:26pmClaire
i didnt beat u yet! lol

4:34pmMartin
i think you might now!!!! lol

4:35pmClaire
i doubt it! lol. be there in a minute! xx

4:38pmMartin
hev's still not happy with us!! she thinks we'er over friendly for just knowing each other on FB???!!

4:40pmClaire
oh i'm sorry martin. i dunno wot to say. its not like we're doing or saying anything wrong! i think she has a serious jealousy problem and its way out of hand. we're not doing anything wrong!!!!!

4:42pmClaire
hope that doesnt offend u....wot i said about hev.

i just have trouble ubderstanding her problem with me. thats all

4:44pmMartin
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HER ???

4:44pmClaire
dont shout at me!!! lol

i'm on ur side! haha

sorry its causing u problems tho xx

4:45pmMartin
but i'm a bloke and understanding woman isn't my best subject!!! lol

4:46pmClaire
we are very difficult to work out.....i'll give u that! but then again, so r some men! lol

4:49pmMartin
i don't know what to do?? it's all a little OTT i think, but it's all just harmless fun me and you, she thinks there is more to it? ithink??!!

4:52pmClaire
well obviously ...she keeps deleting me! has she got ur password?

have u tried telling her theres nothing going on?

4:54pmMartin
yes, but that not worked very well!!!! lol

4:57pmClaire
oh dear! trouble is, once us women get something stuck in our heads, its hard to shift it! wot do u want to do? i darent add u again if she deletes me. u'll have to add me. but if u wanna leave it, i'll understand xx

5:08pmMartin
i've changed my password!! so we will have to ride out the storm!! lol

So! Am I?

No in my opinion YANBU

grounds for divorce

I dont' get why men act like this with women then don't know
I wouldn't like it either -

how fucking dare he belittle you in that way

I am {angry} for you, seriously

i would go ballistic!

OMG, this is taking the piss. I'd be so angry with both of them tbh.

I think you're right its ego boosting male crap, but he shouldn't be slagging you off to someone he barely knows Loyalty and all that. Having female friends is one thing, flirting online with someone you barely know comes under the heading of 'unnecessary'.

Tell him to grow up.

wats, there is history here, hes done it before

serious lack of respect here IMO from him

Uh oh. I'm so sorry to hear that. I think you have a problem. First of all they are each sort of seeing where they stand with one another. Personally I'd say it could be the start of something. I'm so sorry if that upsets you.

He shouldn't be talking about you to her or letting her slag you off and they shouldn't be taking 'sides'. You and him are the team against the rest of the world.

All relationships go through ups and downs though, as you'll know.

if he has nothing to hide why change his password? i would be sooooooooo

YANBU.

If she was someone he knew well in rl first then I would understand him being pissed off for you being jealous always assuming that there was nothing going on AND that there isn't a history of him being unfaithful / untrustworthy.

However she is a friend of a friend and he met her on FB yet he is prioritising his friendship / relationship with her over his with his wife?!?!?!

No - that is f*cking out of order and disrespectful to you

i would be pissed off at both of them, they are egging each other on

they should be making efforts to assure you there is nothing going on if they want to keep talking

not joking about it and changing passwords

I would hate my DH/DP to talk about me like that with another woman - he's obviously been careful about what he's saying especially if he's now changing his password! I would be furious and get rid if I didn't trust him.

OK - will venture to give a different view!

I think it's stupid, but not grounds for divorce/unforgivable. It's also clear from the conversation that nothing more than banter seems to be going on.

Some people (and not just men) have different types of friendship with different people - not sexual but yes, maybe flirty/chatty/friendly - we're all different and relate to each other differently.

And some people also do that really annoying hun/xxx nonsense - but that's a style thing (and so not MN....) and doesn't mean anything more than chat is going on.

I'd be very angry. Not just for the over-familiarity, but discussing you like that.

I'd also struggle to take my DH seriously again if he used 'lol' after every sentance! lol

I'd be extremely cross. How dare either of them make vague generalisations about you or discuss you at all for that matter.

And what's all this lol crap? Neither of them are particularly funny. What are they laughing at lol.

the tone is "those two together against you"

that is shit, and cannot be tolerated