well am i???????

[Theladyevenstar]

Dp's DS2 is 14 he has not ever been overly excited about seeing dp since I have known him. We last saw him on 19-20th september during which time he muttered maybe 50 words and they were..

Are you renting this home or did you buy it?

Followed by a txt to mummy dearest.

Oh you have a ps3

Followed by a txt to mummy dearest

Oh K has a ferarri bed

Followed by a txt to mummy dearest

Oh Z has a load of new toys

Followed by a txt to mummy dearest

When did you buy V (me) a new camera

Followed by a txt to mummy dearest

He only visited as I had kept on at dp as it was my ds2's 1st birthday.

OOppss should explain DP has 2 ds's from previous relationship, I have ds1 from previous and ds2 with dp.

He didn't bring a card for ds2 which i thought was nasty???

Anyway when dp took him home and came back I said to him whats the bet that dss doesn't contact you until he wants something...so far no contact and never in when dp calls.

Now a month on DP is wanting to take him on holiday with us and I have put my foot down.

yabvu Your an adult he's still a child! BTW not bringing a chard for your ds was not nasty either.

"Mummy dearest".... erm.... things like that could cause issues

its his brother though.

lol flame i don't say that in front of him. And it was dp who noticed the txt messages. I mean how many of you with 14yr old sons would let them sleep in your bed most nights/

um.....

let me think

YES

I have a 14yo, and she is still in need of much parenting, as you will find when you have a 14yo.

don't be mean. you must try to be welcoming of your dss,
14 year old boys are weird tbh,

yabu
he is 14
he is juat a child
mummy dearest??????

i feel very sorry for dp's ds2 actually from what you've posted. sounds like he feels caught right in the middle between his parents and definitely 'outside' your family unit.

yabu.hes 14!!!!!!!!!

I try my best to include him, when i bought ds2's b'day pressie I also bought my ds1 and dss a pressie too,

I included them in chosing names, invited dss to ds2 party.

You may not say it, but believe me, he will know that is how you feel about her

He's a kid, stuck between divorced parents. Give him a break

I dont see the connection about him sleeping in his mums bed at 14 has to do with this?!

dp had a similar situation growing up actually, it damaged him a lot. poor lad.

FWIW, I have two DSDs who I think their brother is lovely (My DS) but I wouldn't question if they didn't bring him a card or a pressie. As long as they are nice / kind / loving to him and give him their time when they are here, then that is fine with me. Their time is so much more precious than their money.

I know it's hard, but who knows what happens to kids when they have to live two separate lives with two separate parents.

I hope that I am mature enough to love my DSDs, and to know that they are kind and responsible children (as much as they can be)

Please try to understand that this boy is probably pulled in so many directions - his mum, dad, friends, girls, hormones... It's a difficult time.

my ex-p's DS is 22.

my DS's still only ever get cards/presents from him that ex-p's mum buys on his behalf. so i dont think coming to you without anything, assuming he hasnt got anyone to remind him/buy stuff for him, is a big deal.

being a step parent isnt easy, you as the adult have to make the effort, and so does your dp.

why is your dp not seeing his son more than once a month? if his ds doesn't want to come to your house, can't your dp go and see him? 14 is a really sensitive age, and if he's only seeing his dad once every few weeks, and not speaking to him in between its probably no wonder he doesnt have much to say to him. sounds a little as though he was only invited cos it was his half brothers birthday, not cos you actually wanted him there for himself iyswim.

i hope i dont sound mean, i dont mean to, i know how easy it is to get wrapped up in your own family unit, but this boy is part of your dp, & therefore part of your family. he's really still a little boy, & needs to know that his dad still loves him & wants him around. & he needs to know that you support that as well.

glitter he is invited over weekly, dp tries calling most days and nights and he is never there he is told. He calls his mobile and it is unanswered or not on.

One prime example we had tried for 6 weeks to contact him to come out with us but no answer then out of the blue he called as he had broken the guitar we bought and it needed repairing.

must dash ds2 not well.

yabu.

he is still a child.
Of separated parents.

not easy.

Give him some love.

Jasper I do thats the whole point

He will not see dp without me ds1 and ds2 being there

He will only see us if we are going out to a theme park

He will only stay if ds1 lets him sleep in his bed. I think this is unfair tbh.

If we are not going out he wants a new game.

If not then he won't see dp.

He never returns calls or answers them unless he wants something.

I like the boy, he is my ss

But the theme park and new game stuff is just nonsense you need to stand up to ( I presume you don't go along with his requests) and has nothing to do with the fact he is in a broken family.

Why do you call her mummy dearest?

And is your basic question whether he comes on holiday with you?

he is a teen, they act like that

you dont seem to want any advice about your DSS, you just keep listing his bad points.

I feel very sorry for him. I have a 14yo, and I thank god that my DH and I are together and so this would never happen to my child.

I would be horrified at the thought of my child coming into contact with a SM like you. you seem so angry with him......he is a child who clearly knows he is hated.

how sad