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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want nearly 10 year old son to have a TV in his room?

187 replies

MUMSANUTTA · 06/09/2008 21:39

Opinions please - My son, soon to be ten, is the only one in his group of friends not to have a TV / DVD recorder in his room. The same goes for that matter for our 6 year old! Day to day this is not a problem, but when he visits his friends, it is always mentioned on his return in a sorowful way. We do not bow down to the parent pressure thing on many things, but do try to compromise on some things so he does not feel totally left out and so far seems happy with this. We feel like we want to stick to our guns for another few years, but just recently we are wondering if maybe we should re think our views. Reasons being, we still want to be a family unit, watch TV, play games or just chill out most, not all, of the time together. Do not want him disappearing for hours at a time. Also will have less of influence on what he watches if cannot monitor it. Are we being OTT

OP posts:
janeite · 06/09/2008 21:40

I totally agree with you; not OTT at all.

pinkmunkee · 06/09/2008 21:44

I am with you- don't do it! You are absolutely right for a range of reasons.

twoluvlykids · 06/09/2008 21:45

i only let my ds have tv in his room with ps2,after a couple of years of ps being downstairs and annoying me.i think he was 11,or maybe 12.now he's 14 & bought himself a lovely flatscreen tv,but only uses it for ps & occasional dvd, esp if friends round. we're a sit down together family. don't give in, some of his class mates had tvs at a very young age and even those mini fridges stuffed with choccies and coke!!!!!!

ScottishMummy · 06/09/2008 21:45

your child,no need to follow social pressure just because others do.enjoy your time together

Sidge · 06/09/2008 21:45

It's a very personal parenting decision.

My DD (also nearly 10) has had a TV and DVD player in her room for a few years now. However we have always laid down the rules - it goes on and off when WE say it can (she doesn't put it on without asking first) and she only has channels 1,2,3 and 4. She actually doesn't watch it a lot but occasionally will go and watch a film with a friend, or alone if she wants a bit of peace and quiet (she has 2 younger sisters so the TV in the lounge is usually on CBeebies!)

I am happy with this but appreciate not everyone would agree with it. But my house, my daughter and my rules so do what is right for YOU as a family.

Original poster
MUMSANUTTA · 06/09/2008 21:46

Thank you, glad I am not alone. See trouble is can't discuss this with all my close friends as they have all bought into it and so they may feel judged for it.

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 06/09/2008 21:46

YANBU - my DS1 (7) really wants a TV but I don't think there is any need. They grow up quick enough without half their childhood stuck in their bedroom watching crap.

MrsTittleMouse · 06/09/2008 21:47

I really don't think that it's a good idea for children to have their own TVs. It's difficult for you to police what they watch and surely it disrupts their sleep. Don't know how long that I'll be able to hold out when the time comes for us though.

ScottishMummy · 06/09/2008 21:48

lol parenting is a tread carefully jungle.do what suits you

controlfreakinfreaky · 06/09/2008 21:48

ypu are right. they are all completely wrong. hell will freeze over before my dcs have a tv / dvd / ps2 etc etc in their room.

Janni · 06/09/2008 21:48

Our boys (12 and 8) do not have TVs in their toom and we only have one TV in the house. they go on the family PC and they have ipods where they can download certain films/programmes as well as music, but they have to ask permission to use them, unless, for example we're on a long journey.

It works fine for us. We watch lots of things together and when they're in their rooms they're playing or reading.

Trust your instincts.

Original poster
MUMSANUTTA · 06/09/2008 21:50

Some interesting views. From our point of view, sometimes it would be hell of lot easier as he seems to be staying up later so after getting his two younger brothers to bed, we sit down ready for some us time, but by time he goes to bed at 9ish, we dont have all that much time before I am ready to go up! So when we just want to pour that wine and veg out we do have to think about what he is watching, esp if it is after 9, but then we would have same problem if he had it in room. I think Sidge that is a good idea to have absolute control over it. Things are much harder when all your friends do things in a different way.

OP posts:
notsoteenagemum · 06/09/2008 21:51

YANBU- screens in the DC's rooms are banned including the nintendo DS. I've told DD she can have one about 15 she is 8 DS is 4.
However we do have a portable tv/dvd in our room (it was actually our first family telly) and when DD has a sleepover I let them watch DVD's on it in her room this helped with the compaining and means DH and I don't have to sit in the kitchen while they have aHSMfest.

jvs · 06/09/2008 21:52

what about a tv with built in dvd player.... dont connect it to sky just let him watch his dvd's with mates.... kind of a compromise.

Original poster
MUMSANUTTA · 06/09/2008 21:52

No I will be strong and not give in!!Did you know that unless you have more than two TVs in your house you are not average? Kinda like that though!

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 06/09/2008 21:53

I have not let either of my two dd have a tv in their bedrooms - apparently children that don't are the only ones in the world not to have tv's in their rooms

As a comprimise i put a tv in my room so that they could snuggle up in bed and watch a dvd - this seemed to work and only usually happened on a sleepover.

Yurtgirl · 06/09/2008 21:53

No YANBU at all mumsanutta

In fact although we have got a tv that we v occasionally watch dvds on we havent got a tv licence anymore and my kids - aged 4 and 6 havent really noticed

We do other stuff

My parents let me have a tv in my room at 17. My a level results suffered enormously - nuff said imo!

ScottishMummy · 06/09/2008 21:54

really we have one tv,lol am i dysfunctional

Original poster
MUMSANUTTA · 06/09/2008 21:55

Good idea jvs and just ban the TV bit. We did try getting freeview downloaded on our laptop which apparantely you can do in some areas? but didnt manage it. Thought good compromise if he had mates round or sleepovers could take it up and then we would whip it back after

OP posts:
roisin · 06/09/2008 21:55

ds1 (11) is the only one of his friends to not have a mobile phone, not to have a PS3/X-box/Gamecube, not to have a TV in his room, PC in his room, etc.

I've told him to get used to it. "All my mates have one" is not a valid excuse in this house.

cooandtwo · 06/09/2008 21:56

I think you are quite right. Definitely hold

out for another few years. Resist the guilt trip !.

ethanchristopher · 06/09/2008 21:58

you can get tv's fitted with a timer so they only work within certain hours which would solve the not watching after bedtime issues

Grumpalina · 06/09/2008 21:59

YANBU. As you say he is only bothered when he has been to friends' houses so it's not really an issue. MY 8 year old DS wants one but I have said 'No' for all the reasons you have said. There is a TV in my bedroom and on the v odd occasion I desperately want to watch something I have either made them go and watch there or I've gone. Even though I don't really object to them watching DVDs etc on my tv they seem to prefer to stay with me in the living room. I just hate the thought of everyone each in their own separate little rooms watching what is invariably rubbish and just not interacting as a family.

Yurtgirl · 06/09/2008 22:01

I am really interested to read so many posts from fellow like minded MNetters - It can be lonesome sometimes whenyou realise that practically everybody you know in rl disagrees with you and goes with the modern flow

Roisin and others with 10+ yearolds how do you continue to stick to your guns etc. I see trouble ahead in this household!

FairyMum · 06/09/2008 22:02

Tv in bedroom is so chavvy