To not want nearly 10 year old son to have a TV in his room?

[MUMSANUTTA]

Opinions please - My son, soon to be ten, is the only one in his group of friends not to have a TV / DVD recorder in his room. The same goes for that matter for our 6 year old! Day to day this is not a problem, but when he visits his friends, it is always mentioned on his return in a sorowful way. We do not bow down to the parent pressure thing on many things, but do try to compromise on some things so he does not feel totally left out and so far seems happy with this. We feel like we want to stick to our guns for another few years, but just recently we are wondering if maybe we should re think our views. Reasons being, we still want to be a family unit, watch TV, play games or just chill out most, not all, of the time together. Do not want him disappearing for hours at a time. Also will have less of influence on what he watches if cannot monitor it. Are we being OTT

I don't stick my child in front of the television when I want some peace. Like I said it is about choice. We have three toilets but we don't flush them all at the same time!

Twelvelegs. Yes definately, the research indicated that organising major building works on your house just before your baby arrives means................YOU ARE ASKING FOR TROUBLE BIG TIME!! [GRIN] Good luck!

No TV in bedrooms ds1 16, ds2 11. Have 2 main TVs one of which has to be shared by the ds for tv / playstation time etc.

Yes, we have a TV in our room but when they are adults they can have one then.

That should have been a

YANBU at all imo. I don't like televisions in bedrooms personally.

Herbie, but that's the point really. We all sit and stare at a box too much and don't interact with our families.

I wasn't commenting upon wht you do with your children but more about how you felt about your parents. I rarely watched TV with my parents as we did other things together and I hope that my children will still enjoy spending some of their time with us (me and DH) when they're in their teens, I won't hold my breath. Although I spent time with friends in my parents house in a communal room and my parents frequently popped in and chatted and I never disliked it.

A little girl was at my children's school talking about her new mobile, she's eight . There's no childhood anymore!!

I had a tv in my room at age 11. As a family we did lots of thing s together. I did watch tv in bed, but then I was sent to bed at 8 until I left school.
My children (as I have said before) were provided tv's by their grandparents when they were 3.
Do you know what my daughter said today? She said as family we do to much together, and she wants time on her own to chill in front of her tv. I can see her point there is only so much swimming, rock climbing etc that you can do as a family with out it feeling that we as her parents are suffocating her and not allowing her personal space.

I agree that kids need their own space - but why does that have to involve a TV?

Well in dd's case, maybe its because we spent friday after school rock climbing, then had a pizza and to bed.
Saturday she went to town with her friends in the am while we food shopped, then we picked her up and we all went swimming, whilst on sunday we went for a rainy walk. Maybe she feels that apart from the two hours she 'hung' with her friends on saturday we spent the rest of the time as a family, and she would have rather sat in her room and relaxed in front of the tv.
Her dad, I have to say has gone in to shock. But maybe thats because how many of us spent every living second with her parents when we were kids.

My children spend time in their rooms on their own, reading, drawing, day dreaming, messing about, in dd's case painting her nails and experimenting with make up - all sorts of stuff. And they spend time with each other in one or other of their rooms playing, chatting - generally hanging out together. I GUARANTEE that at least 50% of this stuff wouldn't happen if they had TVs in their rooms - because the minute they were at the tinyest bit of a loose end the TV would go on. My children may be alone in their weak willed-ness in this area, but somehow I doubt it. Time spent watching TV is time that isn't being used doing something else - lying on your bed gazing into space and dreaming about whoever the latest pre teen heart throb is time more valuably employed than watching TV.

Can you tell I feel strongly about this?

I see what you are saying .. But.
DD has had a tv in her room for 10 years seeker. I can't say she has never resorted to it in times of boredom, but if you looked at her art work, her school grades (at a Grammar as we are from Kent), if you were to look at her reading list she vigilantly updates, the three dresses she made in the summer holidays (she is very arty) you would never guess she shares her room with the devil. When taking all that in to account, which is not abnormal, I still say how can a bit of tv be stultifying her brain.

Mine's in a Kent Grammar too - weird if it was the same one!

Barton Court

Oh - is that the one where they finish at 2.30? My dd's very jealous of them! She's at Langton.

YAabsolutelyNBU!!!

I'm all for not letting children feel that they're weirdo freaks who have no place in the 21st century - but it's perfectly possible to do this without having a TV in the bedroom. I'm not opposed to TV per se, but I am opposed to the idea of children taking to their individual bedrooms and staring at a screen. I know - it doesn't work that way for everyone, but I just don't like the idea. If you have a TV downstairs, why not just compromise regarding who watches what?

It really doesn't matter a toss what anyone else does. You know how your family works, and what you feel comfortable with. Other parents may be happy with all sorts of things (underage sex, alcohol, smoking, mobile phones - whatever!) But you decide what's right for your family, and stick to it.

(BTW I don't get this 'my DCs have a TV in their bedroom but it's rarely used' argument. If it's rarely used, why is it there at all?)

2.40.
3 x 140 min lessons, she is home from school before ds and he goes to the local school. what yr is your dd in?

Because in dd's case her grandparents brought it for her when she was 3, and took it upstairs and plugged it in, even if I wanted to (which I didn't) how could I have unplugged it then.
Surely its how you parent that is the point not what your children possess.
Do you know what I hate most about work? When people ask what you are getting your kids for xmas, then they look down their noses at you because 'you have spent to much' this is competative parenting in reverse.

She's just started year 8. She doesn't finish til 3.45.

competitive

dd is yr 9.
Dh's cousin is at Langton and in yr 8, and my cousins are in yr 10 and 13 also at Langton. We had a look around and thought it was really nice, lovely long lunch breaks too, dd has 40 mins for lunch thats all.

I suppose it would be against all the rules to ask for the initials of the year 8 girl?