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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want nearly 10 year old son to have a TV in his room?

187 replies

MUMSANUTTA · 06/09/2008 21:39

Opinions please - My son, soon to be ten, is the only one in his group of friends not to have a TV / DVD recorder in his room. The same goes for that matter for our 6 year old! Day to day this is not a problem, but when he visits his friends, it is always mentioned on his return in a sorowful way. We do not bow down to the parent pressure thing on many things, but do try to compromise on some things so he does not feel totally left out and so far seems happy with this. We feel like we want to stick to our guns for another few years, but just recently we are wondering if maybe we should re think our views. Reasons being, we still want to be a family unit, watch TV, play games or just chill out most, not all, of the time together. Do not want him disappearing for hours at a time. Also will have less of influence on what he watches if cannot monitor it. Are we being OTT

OP posts:
BreeVanderCampLGJ · 07/09/2008 19:00

DS (7)asks from time to time, when he can have a TV in his bedroom.

Our reply is.....when you open your lunchbox and find Pepperamis and we have given you a fruitshoot to wash them down.

He invariably sighs and says, never then.

cheeset · 07/09/2008 19:29

BreeVanderCampLGJ- what are you saying about me or indeed the rest of the people on here who's children have tv's in their room?

Stereotyping people especially infront of your children is not good IMO.

I don't think your is funny in your OP, you should have gone for a

I despair....

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 07/09/2008 19:44

Cheeset

Get over yourself.

We all have different break points, mine are rubbish food and rubbish drinks.

My DS will never have a TV in his room, or should I allow him to have one, just so you don't feel judged.

Elasticwoman · 07/09/2008 19:57

No, OP, you're not being OTT. We do not do tv in the room either for dc or for us, for all the reasons you mention in OP. Also, there should be tv-free rooms or it is too much of a temptation when they have homework to do.

bythepowerofgreyskull · 07/09/2008 19:59

YANBU IMO
not to TV's in bedrooms in this house

Twelvelegs · 07/09/2008 20:04

The only reason I can see for giving a child a TV in their room is to get rid of them andI just don't get it. There will be many spells during their lives where they find many things more enjoyable than spending time with their family and so it's a big NO in this house.

Perhaps your child couls read in the evening or have a hobby?

I bet that accross Europe TV in bedrooms is far less commonplace than in the UK.

cheeset · 07/09/2008 20:12

BreeVanderCampLGJ - I don't feel judged at all. Why would I?

You saying that to your son maybe misconstrued IMO, likening it to bad parenting.

Should he have a tv? Why not? Surely it is a matter of restricting the hours watched and the subject matter. To limit and/or restrict a childs viewing can be detrimental when his peer group are watching certain shows and can lead to alienation.
Too much television can lead to erratic behaviour and an inability to concentrate.
There are no right or wrong ways there is only your way.

cheeset · 07/09/2008 20:15

Twelvelegs
Do your children have games consoles or dvds?
Can they not do this in their room?

Soapbox · 07/09/2008 20:19

Well of course the DCs could use their DS's in the bedroom but they don't! They use them sitting with us in one of the rooms downstairs.

Why would any child choose to sit on their own in a bedroom, rather than be with their family?

I can just about understand being in their rooms if they have friends round, but not when it is just us here.

WideWebWitch · 07/09/2008 20:22

My ds is nearly 11 and doesn't have a tv in his room either and won't have for a long time. We have one in our room but rarely watch it tbh.

daftpunk · 07/09/2008 20:26

hope you're ok dude

RebelMum72 · 07/09/2008 20:32

I was thinking about this very subject today, as I'd had a couple of conversations recently with friends in the UK (we're in Germany) who all mentioned their children watching TV regularly - and all of them have under 3s.
I was a bit shocked, tbh. My ds is 18 months, and if I wanted him to watch TV, I'd literally have to stop him from doing something else and plan it into our day, which I think would just be ludicrous. He is still at that stage (which I hope lasts for ages!!) where everything around him soooo interesting, and he's quite happy to amuse himself with his toys or books or just things he finds around the flat. Plus we spend lots of time outside every day, which he really loves.
And then one of my friends says to me in a disapproving and rather pitying tone "Oh, doesn't he watch ANY TV yet? What, nothing at all? What a shame he's missing out."!!
This from the person who's eldest dd has had a tv in her bedroom since before she was five and who, when visiting us, is hardly in the door before she's whining "I want to watch SpongeBob, can I watch SpongeBob?"... (the dd, that is, not the friend )
So don't think my ds will be getting a TV in his bedroom any time soon...

cheeset · 07/09/2008 20:53

Hey I'm cool daftpunk

Both my dc's have tellys in their rooms, neither have an ariel so rely on DVD or vids.

They watch stuff as and when. For instance, if they have a friend round and I'm ironing watching the box, they might watch something with their friends such as High Sch Musical or whatever.

They are NEVER allowed to watch it at night. My ds will watch a movie if a friend over for a sleepova and only at the weekend.

DD is read to every night and DS reads himself.

It's just there for convenience.

I do have a problem with children watching telly in their rooms instead of a story from their parent(s)

daftpunk · 07/09/2008 21:04

dude you don't have to justify anything to me..or anyone on here..if you want your kids to have t.vs in their rooms thats fine......it's no big deal...and fwiw my kids don't have t.vs in their rooms but are glued to it downstairs!. we have two seperate rooms so have more than one t.v..it's on all the time..lol

pointydog · 07/09/2008 21:08
  • how many rooms downstairs with tellies in do you have?!
pointydog · 07/09/2008 21:08

that was meant to be to soapbox

Twelvelegs · 07/09/2008 21:09

My children do play consoles and have access to a PC, neither of which are in their rooms. It's just a family centric household, my DH watches no sport (unless we all want to watch) and I have no soap addiction. In fact I spent my summer abroad and since being back (a week) I have found Sky is not working and we have no normal ariel and the house is a building site, and the no TV bit is really nice. I have access to Iplayer and so have something to listen to or watch when ironing.
I really envy the European culture of spending time with family and cooking and eating in the evening as opposed to rushing down food to get to the TV.

AbbeyA · 07/09/2008 21:13

I think a bookcase full of books is a far better idea for a bedroom.

cheeset · 07/09/2008 21:16

Hey ho I'm bereft now that BB has finished. Shite but the contestants became so familiar I feel so lonely

I'm gonna try and make some MN friends now-
I think people who allow tv's in their kids rooms are so so baaaaad.

cheeset · 07/09/2008 21:17

Cant you have books and a telly in a bedroom? Just a thought?

MaryAnnSingleton · 07/09/2008 21:18

YANBU - would never allow a tv in my child's bedroom

Pannacotta · 07/09/2008 21:25

Agree YANBU, I would also never allow my DSs to have TVs in their rooms, we only have one TV in the whole house.

Soapbox · 07/09/2008 21:34

Pointydog - we've 2 rooms with TVs in down stairs. We don't use them at the same time though - family room during the day and what used to be the adult sitting room in the evening. We always tend to hang out in the same room together, unless the children have friends round.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 07/09/2008 21:34

Master LGJ's room is wall to wall with books, why would he need a television ?

southeastastra · 07/09/2008 21:36

my 14 year old has one,got it for his 11th birthday i think. you can't shield it from them forever