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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want nearly 10 year old son to have a TV in his room?

187 replies

MUMSANUTTA · 06/09/2008 21:39

Opinions please - My son, soon to be ten, is the only one in his group of friends not to have a TV / DVD recorder in his room. The same goes for that matter for our 6 year old! Day to day this is not a problem, but when he visits his friends, it is always mentioned on his return in a sorowful way. We do not bow down to the parent pressure thing on many things, but do try to compromise on some things so he does not feel totally left out and so far seems happy with this. We feel like we want to stick to our guns for another few years, but just recently we are wondering if maybe we should re think our views. Reasons being, we still want to be a family unit, watch TV, play games or just chill out most, not all, of the time together. Do not want him disappearing for hours at a time. Also will have less of influence on what he watches if cannot monitor it. Are we being OTT

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 07/09/2008 21:41

You can shield them from it until they leave home and do their own thing.
It is an opportunity to be on their own and let their imagination run riot with an exciting book-I can't think why you would want to replace it with rubbish on TV! Or a DVD that uses someone else's imagination.

cheeset · 07/09/2008 21:49

BreeVanderCampLGJ- choice ?

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 07/09/2008 21:55

Choice

Ah yes, that will be when he decides to read a book in his room, or watch a DVD with us.

mumeeee · 07/09/2008 22:00

A ten year old does not need a TV in his room/ My children had tv's from the age of 15.

cheeset · 07/09/2008 22:03

You watch>they will all revolt and sneak a telly in when you are not watching>.

blackrock · 07/09/2008 22:08

We have decided already, no tvs in bedrooms, our house ,our rules. We will have two in the house, one for grown ups and one for kids. End of story. Stick to your guns.

My sis and i had tvs n our rooms at home from about the age of 15. I remained in my room for years after that.

herbietea · 07/09/2008 22:10

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seeker · 07/09/2008 22:12

We only have one tv. Occasionally we lwt one child watch the tv while the other watches something else on Iplayer, but only occasionally. Usually they have to negotiate about what the watch. I will never allow TVs in rooms - partly because I like to monitor what they watch, partly because I hate the thought of them sitting in their rooms alone in the slack jawed mindless state that TV induces in my children and partly because we are a family - we are not a group of housemates.

Reginaphilangy · 07/09/2008 22:24

Am at the thought that those who have tv's in their room couldn't possibly have books!

AbbeyA · 07/09/2008 22:25

We have 2 TVs. We watch together in comfort but if they want to watch something on their own they can go in the kitchen. I didn't have a family for them to go and sit on their own in their rooms every night.

AbbeyA · 07/09/2008 22:26

Do those with both in their rooms leave it switched off and read a book for an hour?

Reginaphilangy · 07/09/2008 22:28

But why the assumption that those with TV's in their rooms go and sit on their own in their rooms every night AbbyA?

My eldest dds share a room and they have a TV and DVD player in there. It rarely goes on - their choice, not mine. And if they were inclined to watch it more often, i would set limits. Clever innit?

Reginaphilangy · 07/09/2008 22:29

AbbeyA - YES!! They do read lots in their room, much more often than they watch the box

MatBackFeck · 07/09/2008 22:29

Havent read the whole thread so dont know what the prevailing mood is but i thing YANBU. Mine are only young still but one thing we agreed on when I was pg with no1 I think was no TV's in bedrooms while they live at home. Don't know how it will work out but we will resolve to stick to it. TBH was mainly DPs insistence as I always used to watch TV in bed and it stopped him sleeping but since having children I can see the wisdom now.

And anyway, if you let them have TV's in their rooms now, what will they have to look forward to when they go to university?

Reginaphilangy · 07/09/2008 22:30

Obv i'm only referring to my dc there ...

herbietea · 07/09/2008 22:35

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stroppyshopper · 07/09/2008 22:35

Don't do it. I am with you.

AbbeyA · 07/09/2008 22:42

Each to their own but I was answering OP and my advice is stick to what you believe.

lickleolme · 07/09/2008 22:47

DD is thirteen, dh parents brought her a tv for her room for her third birthday and a dvd video combo for her 10th.
Yes, she has a tv, and I have never told her what she can and can't watch, but if the tv in her room goes on once a week I would be amazed.
So, do you think your son will feel that he has to watch loads of tv or do you think he won't really bother. I think how he reacts to the tv in his room says more about him, than actually having it, iswim.

Reginaphilangy · 07/09/2008 22:48

And i totally agree with you AbbeyA. OP is absolutely not BU for not wanting her ds to have a TV in his room.

I merely wanted to point out (not just to you) that a TV in a dc's bedroom is not, contrary to popular belief, the work of the devil, and can be monitored very very easily

As you say, each to their own ...

herbietea · 07/09/2008 22:56

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seeker · 07/09/2008 23:32

I just think having a telly in your room is the beginning of turning a child's bedroom into a bed sit - and I don't think that ought to happen until they are well into their teens. We are members of a family - not house mates. How about giving them a microwave and a freezer in their bedrooms too - then they can cook their own tea?

Reginaphilangy · 07/09/2008 23:47

You are entitled to your opinion seeker, however, i feel obliged to tell you that (in reference to my family only) You Are Wrong.

Clearly those of you who are against TV's in bedrooms (and i re-iterate, there's nowt wrong with that, each to their own yada yada ...) are not going to accept that TV's can be in bedrooms without being over-used, turning dc's into quivering hermits and ensuring the whole family remains illerate.

Am going to leave this thread now as my head is hurting from banging it against the brick wall ...

Jodee · 08/09/2008 00:09

We have a TV in the lounge (with cable) and a TV in the dining room where DS(8) plays on the PS2. I always wanted his bedroom to be a TV/games console-free zone, and he has been/is happy with books and radio/CD player.

However, we are knocking the kitchen and dining room into one big kitchen next week and so the PS2 is having to go into his room.

Do I think his habits will change? No. Because he likes to spend time with us as a family and he always asks before using the PS2/watching TV, he will not be banished to his bedroom. Nor will his bedtime routine change either.

Quattrocento · 08/09/2008 00:29

TVs are banned from the DCs bedrooms in our household. I've told them they can have TVs in their rooms when they leave home.