AIBU to think that women do as much to perpetuate misogyny as do men?

[JulietteRoche]

What the title says. I am also sure that I'm as guilty as this as the next woman. But I find a lot of the time that women can be very critical and judgemental of other women. A recent, concrete example was a situation with someone I follow on Instagram. A young disabled woman who had felt threatened by a man who pretended to be helpful but was actually predatory. The comments were awful, and about 60% of them were from women. Saying that he 'meant well' and that she needed to get over herself and that she should be grateful that someone wanted to help. I find this attitude shocking, and I also feel that any discussion of misogyny should also include misogyny from women.

So much misogyny on here. Ofc no idea if posters are men or women. But whoever they are, they seem determined to set women’s rights back. And if they are parents, I despair even more.

Don't be daft

Totally agree. Sometimes they are even worse! Not sure if they really believe it, want to be “cool girls / women” or enjoy being inflammatory

What do you mean? Lol at you mansplaining misogyny to me!

Lol at your argument that women do as much to propagate it.

Social media creates a curated, surface level version of people that rarely reflects who they actually are in real life.

I said perpetuate, not perpetrate. Obviously, men as a sex class are more violent than women. However, that fact in no way contradicts my point that women do much to enable misogyny. A great example is how many women threw other women under the bus over the rights of trans 'women'.

While that is true, I'm not entirely sure that's entirely relevant to this particular argument.

I know loass of women that work full time and do EVERYTHING at home for their partner YANBU.

No, I think that’s nonsense. You can’t extrapolate that all women are misogynists from a social media pile-on. Also, you seem confused about what misogyny is. Women not being nice to other women isn’t ‘misogyny’.

I didn't say that it was. I'm talking about women getting angry at a young woman because she wasn't sufficiently grateful to a man who was making her uncomfortable.

Women having different views from other women isn’t misogyny either.

And that's the woman's fault?

I'm not convinced that's a great example without any details

Don’t believe everything on social media!

Women absolutely do perpetrate and enforce misogyny too. Eg calling people “bad mothers”, criticising women in the public eye for ageing, expecting different behaviour from our daughters than our sons.

I'm sure they do, but as much as men?

Some women. On one social media post.

Yeah exactly.

OP, I don’t know if they do as much as men but a lot of women are definitely complicit in misogyny.

I push back on it every time now , for example I had a friend who didn’t want to trouble the partner and father of her child with any of their emotional issues, she just let him of the hook for not being able to listen to her.

But when it came to certain female friends and relatives she would go off about how they weren’t there for her.

The same friend would go in a huff if her friends didn’t attend her child’s birthday events but her own partner - the father and stepfather of her 4 kids didn’t and he also didn’t contribute to their birthday presents.

I eventually realised I was being taken for a mug, and that I had no reason to provide more for her or her kids than the man she calls her “soul mate”, he was allowed to spend his money on weed and whatever shit he wanted.

I mean I’d get it if she was a single parent but she wasn’t.

Placing higher expectations on women than men is one form of misogyny.

Thank you. This isn't a bashing thread, it is an unpacking one. I'm guessing that @randomchap is a well meaning male feminist who hasn't yet learned to put down his armour and let women speak.

The onus for change will always be on the oppressor. Of course women behave in misogynistic ways, but they are an oppressed group trying to survive. Siding with the oppressor can be very tempting to those without power.

The responsibility for change still rests with the powerful oppressing group.

That's just one example. Do you really think I'd have started this thread Iif I thought that what I mentioned was the exception that proves the rule??

I'm not sure I agree with this.

I agree with this too.

I think some women, assuming they are women, are pretty sexist on here.

Two recent threads have really made me think about this. On one thread, the picky husband filched all the meatballs out of some sauce having already opted out of the meal, and the OP was told she should be glad he's broadening his horizons, maybe consider making him plain meatballs in future, and think up a funky new alternative to use up the now meatless meatball sauce.

On another, the male partner cooked carbonara very early just for him and his daughter, knowing the OP didn't like it and wouldn't want to eat that early, even though normally they eat together later. Didn't advise her of the plan change or ask if there was anything she wanted. This OP was told it was lovely he was doing some cooking and she was unreasonable to mind being excluded. And, indeed, called a c*nt by this man.