AIBU to think that women do as much to perpetuate misogyny as do men?

[JulietteRoche]

What the title says. I am also sure that I'm as guilty as this as the next woman. But I find a lot of the time that women can be very critical and judgemental of other women. A recent, concrete example was a situation with someone I follow on Instagram. A young disabled woman who had felt threatened by a man who pretended to be helpful but was actually predatory. The comments were awful, and about 60% of them were from women. Saying that he 'meant well' and that she needed to get over herself and that she should be grateful that someone wanted to help. I find this attitude shocking, and I also feel that any discussion of misogyny should also include misogyny from women.

Absolutely my experience too. Women are as embedded in the patriarchy as men and they are absolutely upholding it,all based on deep misogyny.

First of all, the 'concrete' example you gave is not 'concrete' at all because we don't know for a fact that the man was predatory! Perhaps a link to the post might help us decide if the comments were unfair.

Also, are we as woman supposed to always side with the women, even if we know they are wrong, or bad? I am all for the Sisterhood and the girl-code but if a woman isn't a nice woman then no, I wouldn't side with her.

I kind of do, but it's very complex when the issue is sex and not another axis of opression. Women raise sons, and women who have internalised misogynist attitudes will obviously pass those down on to those sons. I realise that my point is in itself somewhat misogynist, in that it places responsibility on the oppressed to end their opression in a way that race politics maybe do not. However, I don't believe that it does anyone any favours to flinch from the truth.

This is EXACTLY the sort of thing I'm talking about.

The oppressor never ends any form of abuse. It has to come from the oppressed and some women really struggle with accepting that the world is oppressive towards them.

Anyone dare says anything negative about a woman, esp on here are misogynistic 🙄
It's nearly as overused as narcissist 😂
Pretty lazy and boring, imo

The comments were awful, and about 60% of them were from women.

Can you tell the gender of a person commenting on Instagram?
My user name is something like TeaPotShed and the photo is of a shed.

This wasn't on here, it was on Instagram.

You believe the responsibility rests with oppressed groups? And the oppressors are a ok to continue as they are?

Well, ok then. I have no idea how to argue with that really, but I think it's an unusual stance. I think it's probably internalised misogyny on your part to blame women for men's oppression.

I agree that women contribute to the situation . Women letting their sons getting away with shitty behaviour from when they're tiny because 'boys will be boys'. Women voting for trump because 'locker room banter is just what men do'. Women on here who stay with shit men because 'he's a great dad, and he doesn't hit me' even though he makes every aspect of her life more difficult.

But no they're not equally as responsible as men. They don't rape, murder or abuse women as much as men do for a start and that fact underpins a lot of other behaviour

Plenty of it on here

Women who get giddily excited and thankful that their DH acts like a normal human being.. scaling the heights by looking after them when they are poorly, or cooking tea without asking

All other women bring predators, and after an affair with their husband, perpetuating the myth that all women are “up for it” at all times.

That's kind of what I'm saying.

As I said

"Can you tell the gender of a person commenting on Instagram?
My user name is something like TeaPotShed and the photo is of a shed."

So, you wish us women to assume that all men who approach a woman to help them should beware because the man is predatory.😂

Ridiculous.

Nah. Apply your thread's title to any other oppressed group and ask yourself if it lands well. Why hold women to a different standard than everyone else? I agree with your follow up post though that your opinion on this is influenced by your own internalised misogyny.

Yes and no. Maybe read some of the replies to the thread to get an idea of what I'm talking about. I don't mean the ones saying I'm wrong, like yours. Those I respect, even if I don't fully agree. I mean the ones that say that women who feel threatened by men in public are paranoid and wrong

Nah, I just think when people make rather daft hyperbolic statements it needs pointing out.

As much as men? Really?

This you OP?

JulietteRoche · 14/10/2026 02:52
Men age better than women, on average. Mem can often still look good well into their sixties and seventies, although a lot don't. Women very rarely do. I am a woman btw.

JulietteRoche · 22/10/2026 19:07
I absolutely can't stand Katie, but it doesn't follow that she was to blame for him being charged, and found Not Guilty doesn't actually mean he didn't violate that girl. Again, I'm not defending her at all, she is a terrible person and mother. I'm just saying that two things can be true simultaneously.

The first is just my observation, which is based on biology. The second I dont understand how you find even remotely misogynist. I said I thought he could be guilty, without defending Katie who is an abuser herself. Your attempt at a gotcha is pathetic.

'I mean the ones that say that women who feel threatened by men in public are paranoid and wrong.'

That is not what I wrote at all and yet, you replied that it was 'EXACLY' the sort of thing' you are saying.

You aren't making any sense. And you still haven't posted a link to the Insta post you mentioned so we can actually give an opinion on that.

Arguments flimsier than my flimsiest nightdress.

Put down the sword, mate.

Have you considered arguing the point? Not just attacking the poster.

OMG you're really the gift that keeps giving.

Whether someone 'looks good' is not based on biology. It is a matter of opinion, and our misogynistic society is of the opinion that older women don't look good.

I give up. You got me!! I'm a hypocrite misogynist. Or, I am a human who understands complexity.