AIBU to think that women do as much to perpetuate misogyny as do men?

[JulietteRoche]

What the title says. I am also sure that I'm as guilty as this as the next woman. But I find a lot of the time that women can be very critical and judgemental of other women. A recent, concrete example was a situation with someone I follow on Instagram. A young disabled woman who had felt threatened by a man who pretended to be helpful but was actually predatory. The comments were awful, and about 60% of them were from women. Saying that he 'meant well' and that she needed to get over herself and that she should be grateful that someone wanted to help. I find this attitude shocking, and I also feel that any discussion of misogyny should also include misogyny from women.

I don't think you know what doxxing means.

The Advanced Search button isn't a device for making people feel superior.

Yeah it’s an interesting discussion. I can see both sides of the debate on this. It’s nuanced.

I remember reading a book by Brazilian educator Paulo Freire called the pedagogy of the oppressed. One of the quotes from it “The oppressed, having internalised the image of the oppressor and adopted his guideline are fearful of freedom. Freedom would require them to eject this image and replace it with autonomy and responsibility”

Straw man. I never at any point said being a woman means you need to side with another woman in conflict with a man.

ETA: I’ve just went back and read the rest of my post you took that quote form and I don’t see how my quote or the rest of the post even relates to the other stuff you said.

I was talking about women who place higher standards on female relatives and friends than their own husband/father of child and demand more from various women all the while requiring little of the man and praising him as her soul mate all the same.

The friend i was using as an example called her mum and sisters all sorts for never taking all the children at the same time, when she looked after them. I asked her why her partner never took the children to give her a break.

For context neither of them worked at that time. So they were both at home with the kids.

The difference is he got a break from the kids when he went to his friends or whatever whereas at least one of the kids were always with her when she met with her friends since he felt “a child should be with her mother” .

And some women are complicit because many women do want to be 'looked after' by a man, financially and emotionally

That may be true for some but in my example which is not at all rare nowadays, my friend was never taken care of by her partner emotionally or financially. The opposite in fact, it was me and other female family and friends who were constantly bailing her out financially. Listening to her trauma, playing therapist, Buying new furniture when she moved. Chipping in to get her money to travel and visit relatives. Babysitting all the kids. Turning up with presents for her children that her partner didn’t buy.

Most of the benefits she received were because of her kids and she used that to pay the bills. He used his benefit money on weed and his own personal stuff.

I honestly don’t see what these type of men bring to relationships nowadays and why women tolerate it. At least back in the day they’d financially provide for the woman at minimum. This man was only traditional in that he left all the cooking and chores and childcare to her as is the case with a lot of modern misogynists.

I mean it’s her choice , but my issue is the misogyny of her holding women in her life to a much higher standard, when none of us were her life partner or equally responsible for her kids like he was.

I think women 'put up with it' because they are conditioned to think they have no value unless they are in a relationship. Also poor self esteem makes them feel they have to put up with it, as no one else will want them.

Some. But not even close to men.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/oct/28/psychopatriarchy-politics-opinion?CMP=fb_gu&utm_medium=Social_img&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwdGRjcAVPN3pjbGNrBU824mV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHBkb2YFc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMzUwNjg1NTMxNzI4AAEfnMZVtLHTtiuF8MZlDVAtV0QR8wWIpO1TYYPg6v6tBeX5_vlYqUGHtgSat8s_aem_QYpoH_1Rz_24Gn9GjXPolA#Echobox=1793196531

Just came across this article which underlines the building zeitgeist in politics and systems.

Personally I think those women who do appear to help perpetuate misogyny are sometimes brainwashed and sometimes employing instinctive survival strategies. But overall it's a humanity problem. A story about apples and serpents may be involved. Still. Unbelievably. The regression in this and so many other areas is mind boggling. And when all else fails, and reason leaves the building, every form of nonsense and pseudoscience fills the void. Especially if there's money to be made.

A lot of women vote against women's rights which is both confusing and frustrating.

Yabu
Compliance under duress is not complicity in misogyny or perpetuating it.
It is under the fawn survival tactic- (fight, flight, freeze and fawn)

I agree with this, but the fact is that if any less-priviliged group wait for the priviliged group to give up their unfair advantages, we'll be waiting til the sun expands and contracts into a little white dwarf.

Unfortunately it's almost always down to the less priviliged group to claim more equality, and historically that's very often had to be by some degree of violent means, from the anti-slavery movement in the West to Emancipation and the paint-throwers and rioters.

Is it misogynistic to be "pro-life".

It's misogynistic to force a woman to go through an unwanted pregnancy yes.
And cruel to force her and the baby to keep it when it's unwanted, or force her and the baby to go through separation and adoption trauma. Very misogynistic.

Specially if someone who wants to remove the option of abortion isnt actually carrying an unwanted baby themselves. Who are you to decide for other women?

Calling it pro life is trying to skirt around the truth of it, which is forced birth.
If someone is pro life then they support forced birth.

Although rarely if ever with their wallets, oddly enough. I am unaware of a forced birth movement to financially support children in bad situations.

It's saying that a woman, when pregnant, loses control over her body because she is an incubator only. Once she is doing her only purpose (be pregnant), she must proceed regardless.

Every time a woman has sex, there is a chance she could become pregnant. Most of the time, women have a choice about whether they want to become pregnant.

Yes, and the woman's choice whether to proceed with a pregnancy or not has to continue, despite men in suits trying to take it away

Some people believe a foetus is a distinct human organism with a full genetic code from the moment of fertilisation, possessing an intrinsic potential and moral right to life equivalent to a born person.

Yes and they have the choice to have an abortion.
The man has the choice to just walk away what quite a number actually do.

And they have a right to believe that. They don't have the right to force their believe onto others ( as is the cause for a lot of beliefs)

There are (in my humble opinion) LOTS of women who harbour deep-seated internalised misogyny. Whether it's by reason of culture, upbringing, social-conditioning - they perpetuate the patriarchy. I think the bottom line for all of them is fear.

It could be fear of male violence and bullying, fear of having to provide for themselves and taking full agency over their own lives, fear of poverty, fear of not being capable or safe without a man.

I think if female misogynists were forced to confront the reality of the oppression of women, their worlds would implode. It's just too terrible to face up to the truth.

Those people are wrong, and even if they weren't, abortion would still be a necessity.

If they believe abortion is murder, it becomes a problem.

Of course some women perpetuate misogyny. But a classic trick of misogyny is to blame women for men’s behaviour and this feels like that. Yes women can have this deep rooted in them but women are generally not out there perpetrating violence against women so let’s not start with the ‘they’re just as bad as men’ stuff

Where has mansplaining happened? 😆

I can understand both sides and both views and the fact and idea that it is a unique life worthy of not being killed.