AIBU to think that women do as much to perpetuate misogyny as do men?

[JulietteRoche]

What the title says. I am also sure that I'm as guilty as this as the next woman. But I find a lot of the time that women can be very critical and judgemental of other women. A recent, concrete example was a situation with someone I follow on Instagram. A young disabled woman who had felt threatened by a man who pretended to be helpful but was actually predatory. The comments were awful, and about 60% of them were from women. Saying that he 'meant well' and that she needed to get over herself and that she should be grateful that someone wanted to help. I find this attitude shocking, and I also feel that any discussion of misogyny should also include misogyny from women.

A lot of women are crabs in a bucket. Or turkeys voting for Christmas. Obviously, men and patriarchy are the primary issue, and often the ways in which women react are protective and practical - playing along with the rules of a system they didn't create - but they're not helpful either, and enforce the status quo.

One minor way I notice it is in the way that women get so defensive when talking about hair removal - the insistence that it's an entirely personal choice that's totally uninfluenced by society in any way. There's a real desire to deny the scope and influence that society and socialisation have.

For some people it’s not a feeling, it is a conviction.

(I will stop now.)

(Please do)

I think the word "some" would be relevant to include here.

Agree that almost everyone perpetuates it to some degree even if for a lot of us it is unconscious. In terms of women specifically on one end of the scale you have trad wife handmaidens or glamour models, but equally you could say that every single heterosexual woman in a relationship with a man who ever lets anything go because it is easier to do it yourself than nag yet again, or even anyone who asks whether someone is dating/seeing anyone rather than the default being happily single is perpetuating misogyny to some degree.

Definitely disagree that women as a whole do as much to perpetuate it as men though, that completely disregards all the effort many women constantly make to stand up /fight for themselves and other females.

Women telling other women what to do!!!

You've not met my mother - boys are better at maths and men make better teachers apparently. Oh and any woman or child who has any confidence has " a lot off" which is a bad thing.

No, your post about looking good proves your point that misogyny is ingrained in women as much as men in some areas (not violence) and the main one is that women are there to look nice and looking old or fat or ugly is a bad thing , for some of us, depending on our upbringing it is so ingrained in us that we do it without thinking. Which you have done in that post.

If I was ‘telling you’ I’d just say shut the fuck up.
I asked politely 🙂

Except I didn't say that women's job was to look nice. I said that according to my observation, men who have made it to their seventies and beyond ON AVERAGE look fitter than women of the same age. Not men in their forties and fifties or even sixties, where I think the converse is true.

I'm telling you to get the fuck out of my uterus.

Your true colours are showing!!

But you didn't say in your opinion you said it is just simple biology.

She didn't want to talk about it anymore

(I will stop now.)
how is this stopping her to voice her opinion?

So are yours. Now clear off to some godbothering convention or other.

I’m an atheist.

Even worse. At least the religious types have their delusion as an excuse.

I will weep when someone kills a child. It's not okay in my books.

If you read my posts, I never gave my opinion about abortion.

Women on here don’t like other women having different opinions.

Oh good lord give it a rest. Nobody cares about your oh-so-delicate feelings.

Then why are you banging on about it, then!?

We don’t all have to think and feel like you, thank goodness!!

No, but you do need to keep your 'pro-life' shite out of policy.

Obviously people don’t keep their 'pro-life' shite out of policy.

(You haven’t got a clue what I believe because I never said.)

Some women don't recognise their own misogyny. Some perpetuate misogynistic ideas believing it to be the correct order of things.

My mum is the bigget misogynist I have personally encountered.

They perpetuate some but I don't think it's anywhere near as much as men. A lot of men have just learned to filter themselves around women. They know commenting in public on a woman's view of an interaction with a man could get them in trouble. If that man went to them with the story man to man I'd bet the majority of men would agree with him.