AIBU to think that women do as much to perpetuate misogyny as do men?

[JulietteRoche]

What the title says. I am also sure that I'm as guilty as this as the next woman. But I find a lot of the time that women can be very critical and judgemental of other women. A recent, concrete example was a situation with someone I follow on Instagram. A young disabled woman who had felt threatened by a man who pretended to be helpful but was actually predatory. The comments were awful, and about 60% of them were from women. Saying that he 'meant well' and that she needed to get over herself and that she should be grateful that someone wanted to help. I find this attitude shocking, and I also feel that any discussion of misogyny should also include misogyny from women.

Well internalised misogyny is a thing OP but I would take issue with your assertion that women do as much as men to perpetuate misogyny.

You said - " I find a lot of the time that women can be very critical and judgemental of other women. "

Also you -* *"she is a terrible person and mother."

"Men age better than women, on average. Mem can often still look good well into their sixties and seventies, although a lot don't. Women very rarely do."

That's not biology. It's your misogynistic judgement..

The evidence points to hypocrite misogynist.

I am not sure that 'responsibility is the right word. And nobody is saying it is okay for oppressors to continue oppressing.
But it is certainly true that an oppressive or privileged group will never voluntarily give up their comfortable position. They have to be made to give it up, by having it forcibly taken from them. Do you think education or polite argument will do the trick?

What else would make men give up misogyny except women rebelling against it and refusing to accept it?
What else would make a colonising nation leave a colony except the local population rising up against them?

OP isn't answering. I wonder if anyone else knows if you can tell the gender of a person commenting on Instagram?

Oh and please, those of you, right on, alleged feminists give the "internalised misogyny" pish a rest.
I would really appreciate it,
Thanks

I see a lot of casual internalised misogyny on MN and elsewhere online - women using expressions like “Karen”, “mutton dressed up as lamb” etc, telling other women to lighten up in response to sexist banter from men, holding mothers to higher standards than fathers. Women tend to take it very badly when it’s pointed out, as well; I’m not sure why that is. I think language matters, it both shapes and denotes culture. If we want it to change, we all have to face our own prejudices. I’ve caught myself thinking “bitch” when another woman is nasty to me. It’s internalised misogyny.

Yes, I think some women do do as much to perpetuate misogyny as men.
They have different techniques from men.
Women 'police' each others appearance and behaviour. They raise sons differently to daughters. They have low expectations of men in the home.
It can be subtle and insidious, and often invisible to men, but it is real.

I make no apology whatsoever for my judgement of Katie Price.

I’ve caught myself thinking “bitch” when another woman is nasty to me. It’s internalised misogyny.

What is wrong with that? Is it the gender-coded word that is the issue?

I frequently think of other people as 'bitch' or 'bastard'. I must be an embittered misanthrope who hates most people. 🤔

OP, I don’t know if they do as much as men but a lot of women are definitely complicit in misogyny
Bei g a woman doesn't mean you systematically have to side with ever woman who is in a conflict with a man.

And some women are complicit because many women do want to be 'looked after' by a man, financially and emotionally. Many women like men to take control of decisions, and are happy to just care for their children and husband.

As long as this continues, some men will continue to consider women as inferior.

I hear you.

Whilst my recent thread isn't specifically highlighting misogyny, it was about a really rude man on a train who kept helping my adult daughter with her puzzle clues, to the extent he was taking DDs puzzle book from her hands and turning it around so he could see the puzzle better.

Apparently it was all my fault he was so rude because

• I was rude from the off, as I moved for him to sit in the free window seat next to me. Apparently, I should have moved over and when he said "you expect ME to sit in there?" that was him indicating he wanted my aisle seat and therefore I should have let him sit on my seat.

• I continued to be rude as I was responding to my daughter telling me the clues she was stuck on. We should have been quiet on the train, as we were annoying by talking to each other on our journey.

• we were terrible for sitting on a table for 4, when there was only 2 or us. Add to that we were sitting diagonal to each other, so of course the man was going to be rude because of our seating positions.

And, my favourite, his wife couldn't do anything about the man's awful behaviour, as she was sitting diagonal to him, so couldn't amuse him and direct him away from bothering us.

I could not believe what I was reading.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5590169-annoying-man-on-train?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Of course some (too many) women do.Some take it to an extreme, some just dip in and out. I’ve been guilty myself at times. Especially in my “humanist” days. What can I say? I was a dumbass.

It’s like all those people feeling horribly offended for being called racist. Like it’s worse to be called a racist than BE a racist.

Did anyone ever say it was only men? You've not been here long, have you, @JulietteRoche ?

One can accept that a woman feels threatened by a man but also recognize that a man might not have acted in a threatening manner.
There was a thread recently where a man offered to help a woman filling up her car. The OP considered this misogynistic, others considered it as a bad attempt at flirting. This is considered a difference of opinion not misogyny.

Also stating that men age better than women because of "biology" is horseshit.
Women generally take more care of themselves, be it outer beauty or healthier lifestyles. That statement is actually misogynistic

I completely agree with you, OP. It's most horrific when the people with misogynistic views have positions of power, like working in healthcare.

I haven’t RTFT but, depressingly, I agree with you OP.

I follow a lot of GC accounts on X - and the criticism of Meghan Markle over the last few days has been dripping in misogyny. From calling her a ‘yacht girl/tramp/mattress actress’ to blaming her for her father’s actions….all from self-proclaimed feminists. It’s depressing asf!

I mean there are more men holding positions of power in the medical field than women.

And yet more women enter medicine than men per year. This has been the case over the last few years

How can you tell the gender of people who comment on Instagram?

Bloody hell why are you still harping on about this? For a lot of posters it will be obvious.

As much?
No.

It's not obvious for me. That's why I'm asking.

The OP said 60% of those who commented on Instagram were women. How can you tell with the made up usernames?

If it's obvious to you, can you share with me please?

does searching a posters previous posts make you feel superior I can see you’ve doxed people before?