AIBU to think that women do as much to perpetuate misogyny as do men?

[JulietteRoche]

What the title says. I am also sure that I'm as guilty as this as the next woman. But I find a lot of the time that women can be very critical and judgemental of other women. A recent, concrete example was a situation with someone I follow on Instagram. A young disabled woman who had felt threatened by a man who pretended to be helpful but was actually predatory. The comments were awful, and about 60% of them were from women. Saying that he 'meant well' and that she needed to get over herself and that she should be grateful that someone wanted to help. I find this attitude shocking, and I also feel that any discussion of misogyny should also include misogyny from women.

The OP itself smacks of misogyny doesn’t it. It’s immediately gone to blaming women 🙄 the irony

And a lot don't.

Those that believe that are perfectly free to never have an abortion.

They should not get to decide that for those that dont share their belief.

It's like religion. You can believe what you like but you should not expect or demand the rest of the world believes what you like or try to force them to attend your place of worship or follow the rules of your religion.

Why? It is a unique life. That's the scientific consensus. Why should it be needed (barring medical issues).

It's a complex issue and there's more to it than "you're right I'm wrong".

The recent, "pretty privilege" thread summed up what you mean. The poster, seemingly educated, older professional woman, didn't identify that what she was getting annoyed at, was creepy, older man/boss behaviour. She just saw the more attractive new starter as being privileged because he sleezed around her and spent more one-on-one time with her, as opposed to the less attractive starter. It didn't occur to her to ask the 'privileged ' one if she was ok and needed support. Or to have a word with anyone about it. Instead she ranted about a young woman, probably being sexually harassed, as privileged.

Some of the answers across threads are shocking, especially if a SAHM is posting.

I agree. The competitive housework on hear is ludicrous and demonstrates clearly that many women feel that the women is responsible for housework cooking etc amd to be judged if she falls short of made up standards. See also Christmas, activities, children in general.

It's needed because forced birth is wrong. I'm not going to start arguing with handmaidens on this issue.

Well that's not what science says because in the early days, it's a bunch of cells. However, if people believe that, just don't have an abortion yourself. Or set up a free residential care facility for hundreds of babies, who would've been born each year with profound disabilities, if it wasnt for abortion.

If a person believes abortion is the equivalent of murder, they are likely to have a moral obligation to prevent it.

I got so fed up with that idiotic woman who made a TV show about how nobody should abort kids with down syndrome just because her child had it. How smug and self involved can you get!? My father told my mother that she had to have an amniocentesis because there was no way he would raise a kid with Down. And what's more, he was right!

Ah a bit more of the misogyny by women that you speak of. You can’t just call people handmaidens because you disagree.

I’m pro choice and I think pro-life is absolutely the wrong choice, but you don’t have to be insulting and misogynistic to argue it.

HNRTFT but, simply put, I genuinely believe the biggest obstacle to equality and equity for women, is internalised misogyny in some women.

Abortion impacts another human being. It's not just a personal choice like what clothes you wear or football team you supports. It's another human. A human that's quite young and instead of growing up normally and having a life. That life is taken away so early. It's the same reason I weep for mother's who have a miscarriage. The same reason weep when I see the news of a small baby losing their life tragically. It hurts so much

No. If a person believes abortion is the equivalent of murder, they are likely to feel a moral obligation to prevent it. And their feelings are not the problem or the legal responsibility of the woman concerned, nor of the state.

Ironically, a lot of them also support the death penalty .

You need to get a hobby. One that doesn’t involve maudlin emotional blackmail.

You weep too easily. Luckily, your personal feelings can't dictate what other women do with their bodies.

That’s your personal opinion, to which you are entitled. It’s not the law, fortunately.

If abortion is viewed as the unjust killing of a human being, moral logic dictates it should be treated similarly to other forms of lethal violence (such as infanticide or homicide.)

Women absolutely can perpetuate mysogyny and participate in victim blaming/downplaying mens predatory behaviour. I think there are often quite complex psychological reasons for this (not excusing it). It's like reading about someone having a horrible unavoidable accident and pushing away the fear/discomfort that creates by either not believing it happened or imagining all the ways you would get out of the plane crash/bear attack/etc. I think some women really don't like to imagine they themselves could be in a scary situation they can't control so victim blame their way out of it instead.

But when it comes to posts on social media you really can't tell who is who. There was an incident a while back where a (white republican) politician was caught posting "as a black man who is fed up of victim narratives" type posts from a burner twitter account. Likewise there are plenty of men who will post "as a woman I am fed up of women complaining about harassment. I find it flattering like most REAL WOMEN". It's very odd. And people with Strong "alternative" opinions on sexual assault/female behaviour are more prolific on social media than men/women with happy lives.

So social media doesn't tell you much one way or the other.

They can feel how they like, they have zero right to force others to live life according to their morals.

Do i really have to spell out the religion comparison?

Pick a religion at random and tell me they have the right to force people who don't share their faith to live as though they do, including what happens to their bodies.

Just as society has a legal and moral duty to intervene to stop the killing of a person outside the womb, proponents of this view argue there is a corresponding duty to protect the unborn.

🤷‍♀️ let them carry on arguing it. They can feel how they like.
Thats all. Feel.

Could we debate women without the abortion debate dominating? Take out necessary and under age abortions and only around 16% of women (in England) opt for an abortion. It isn't the biggest issue, even though it's being used as a stick to beat all women with.

I think it depends what it is. On a whole no I don't think women are as bad but there are certain elements I have definitely found women to have a far more misogynistic view of other women and that's working ft with children.

The amount of comments I have received from other women about working ft is ten fold that to what I have had from men.
Other women seem to take issue with it from friends to my work colleagues to baby groups and school parents snide remarks. I can play comment bingo now!

Now I just shrug it off and simply reply with it works best for us every family is different. When they try again I just smile and go great for you.
I don't even know where it comes from the need to comment not sure if it's own insecurity, jealousy or disdain frankly I don't care but initially when DS1 was a toddler it would effect me.
My DH used to say to me ask if their husbands work ft and then ask them if they take the same issue!

Fair enough, I'll stop responding to that poster but I think that the debate about whether women should or shouldnt have full control over their bodies is a pretty big part of the picture.
That said, I'll shut up about it now.