Honeymoon and childcare

[FailingToSleep]

DS got married last month and she and her husband are due to go away on their honeymoon on Tuesday for a week. They have 2 children who were going to be looked after by their grandparents (husbands parents) when they were away. Her husband’s dad has had an accident on Friday and is in hospital. He is ok but they won’t be able to look after the children. His parents have told them to go ahead with the honeymoon if they can find alternative childcare.

We have been asked to look after the children when they go away but we’ve had to say no to weekdays due to work. We both work full time and although I could probably get the time off, the short notice wouldn’t look good. I have important meetings that would have to be rearranged and it would mean I’d have to cancel other leave that I had plans for with my husband and children. Annual leave takes a lot of planning and it’s usually booked months ahead.

We have said we will look after the children over the weekend as we are not working but they’ll need to find someone else for the weekdays. AIBU? I feel sorry that she’ll miss her honeymoon but I have work. DS is saying it’s an emergency situation so we should help her.

Her husband has had an accident! She's otherwise occupied.

I don't think they should have asked

With kids we have to have plans and then extra plans
My cousins are getting married next year and they will have 3 kids (1 due 3 months before wedding). They are wanting honeymoon abroad and I joked with them and said ..don't forget you have 3 kids by then where are they all going.

We all have our own jobs as do they. Own responsibility and care issues.

And if it was me, I wouldn't have asked on first place so you are well within your right to say no

Your sister has been entirely unreasonable for wanting a honeymoon as if she was not a parent and newly married. She has two children. They should go on holiday with her.
Is there no option she can take them with her ?

Oh how awkward. I can see why it's not doable for you. Temporary childminder slot for after school? They might be happy to have the children until later.

I doubt they'll get their money back if they cancel. Insurance isn't likely to cover lack of childcare.

Great. So you would agree that the OP has done her bit, and it's for her sister and other members of the family to figure out those 2 and a half hours after school?

OP, this really isn't an emergency.
I think it is extraordinarily entitled to ask for you to give up annual leave for her holiday.

They are her children and their responsibility.
Honestly, the cheek of some people is unbelievable.

You are offering the weekend whichbis really generous as it is.

Yes me too! I was about to say I would do this for my son in a heart beat and take the shit at work. But my child is the only person I would do that for.

We'd come together as a family and work something out together. You know, all of us actually talk around a table or even in a WhatsApp group. That's how we usually figure things out and help each other.

This is what travel insurance is for

Same. Though I think my employer would actually be pretty flexible with such a situation/ allow for WFH or some other compromise.

No it's not 🤷

Again, that great. It appears that the OP is the only one who has tried figuring it out though. So what else do you think the OP specifically should be doing to resolve it?

It's not really a honeymoon though, it's a holiday without the children. They'll have to postpone, it's why you have insurance.

Really? Time off for childcare because of a sister's holiday?

With a person they’ve never met?!

Mummy and daddy have abandoned them (from a small child’s perspective) and now a complete stranger is picking them up from school everyday.

But travel insurance wouldn't cover this situation would it?

You’ve offered what you can. The weekdays don’t sound doable logistically. I would prob take 1 day off work if I could but not 5.

your Dsis and her dh need to accept that when you have dc after marriage you don’t get the luxury of a child free honeymoon. If I were her I would be looking to cancel or change to a long weekend city break.

Talk to other people. Where are her parents?

@FailingToSleep what if Gramps has a sitter in the afternoons (if he can't be left alone) and Granny picks the kids up from school as originally planned, then you take over after work?

Me neither. A lot a posters are saying that in OPs shoes they would drop everything to accommodate her sister, whereas if I was in the sister's position I wouldn't dream of asking mine to step in just so that we could have a child free holiday. I wouldn't put them in that position, I would take my kids with me or cancel. My family are great and will help when asked, but I keep my 'asking' for the big stuff, the real emergencies, like the two times that I was in hospital.

This. I have 2 children, l have booked and used all of my leave at this point in the leave year for them.

To your sister it’s an emergency but in the real world it’s not

Is there a reason the children can’t be added to the holiday booking?

You think the OP should talk to other people?
It's the sister who wants her 5 and 4 year old looking after for a week at short notice.
Why do you think it's the op's responsibility and not the sisters?

I would find a way for my sister. Is there any other family or friends that could cover the week days? Its only 1 week so if I had to call in sick I absolutely would.

Rather than see my own sisters honey moon holiday lost.

This. They should upgraded the holiday or cancel.

Because let be real. Its a holiday