Honeymoon and childcare

[FailingToSleep]

DS got married last month and she and her husband are due to go away on their honeymoon on Tuesday for a week. They have 2 children who were going to be looked after by their grandparents (husbands parents) when they were away. Her husband’s dad has had an accident on Friday and is in hospital. He is ok but they won’t be able to look after the children. His parents have told them to go ahead with the honeymoon if they can find alternative childcare.

We have been asked to look after the children when they go away but we’ve had to say no to weekdays due to work. We both work full time and although I could probably get the time off, the short notice wouldn’t look good. I have important meetings that would have to be rearranged and it would mean I’d have to cancel other leave that I had plans for with my husband and children. Annual leave takes a lot of planning and it’s usually booked months ahead.

We have said we will look after the children over the weekend as we are not working but they’ll need to find someone else for the weekdays. AIBU? I feel sorry that she’ll miss her honeymoon but I have work. DS is saying it’s an emergency situation so we should help her.

It's not an emergency though

I never said it was?

Hope they have insurance!

You'd "do whatever you could" did make it sound like one, it's only a holiday.
They'll be disappointed, but I'm sure they can take the kids or rebook.

Exactly what I think. Years ago a honeymoon was a big deal, often the first time a couple had been away together, shared a bed even.

But when this couple have been together years and are now in their late 30s/ early 40s, have two kids it’s a ridiculous concept to expect a childfree holiday. They have responsibilities, the buck stops with them. I would hate the thought of ringing around and seeing what relatives could take my children, like they’re a nuisance. They’re YOUR kids. Take them and have a nice holiday.

And if they'd gone straight after they got married last month they'd have been back before Gramps had his accident!

It might be an emergency to your sis but it's not your emergency. Having them overnight with them being looked after by school chums' parents until you can get there is more than a fair compromise imo.

Presume you'd have said if so, but has she asked her own parents?

It’s not really a "honeymoon", is it - just a child-free holiday.

You are entirely reasonable to just say you can’t do it, but you could always pretend you had asked your boss and they refused to give you leave at such short notice. You shouldn’t need to lie but if your DSis is being so unreasonable it might help prevent a bust-up with her.

When I got married DS went to grandparents for the weekend and then joined us for the rest of the honeymoon.

The OP has tried finding a solution though hasn't she? She needs between 3.30 & 7pm covering. She is willing to juggle everything else.
What else do you think the OP should be doing?

That would of course be as patronising as fuck

It’s his parents who have had to cancel.

Oh well, third time lucky for them, next time they go for a honeymoon

Id have to know so much more information to make a feasible plan for her. Firstly, where are the other set of GPs?

Insurance doesn't cover childcare falling through 🤷‍♀️

The ones who offered childcare? Grandad has had an accident.

They’re going on Tuesday. Giving one business day to sort out a Nanny.

A nanny to pick them up from school and have them at your house (or you stay at theirs for 2 weeks) seems like the only feasible option? So 4-5 hours a day.

I think 7.30pm is too late for you to pick them up and bring them home, they need to be where they are sleeping. Otherwise by the end of the week they will be exhausted and revolting.

Exactly this

It's a holiday. They had hoped to take it as a couple, but unfortunately, shit happens and now they might have to take their children along with them. It's not an emergency or a tragedy, just a bit of a disappointment.

What else should the OP be doing though? She has worked everything else out and needs the hours between 3.30 and 7pm covering during the weekdays.
The OP has done everything her end to sort it. It's the sister who needs to get between 3.30 and 7pm covered. It's her who needs this massive favour.

It's not an emergency. Please don't suggest or encourage them to use a nanny service if it's not a genuine emergency. We have a parent in our school that does this so said parent can go on holidays/weekends away. The parent's children are a hot emotional mess as a result, and that is a huge factor as to why.

OP isn't a grandparent. She's the 'bride's' sister.

That's the dad's parents. Where are OP's and her sister's parents

Don't know why grandmother can't go ahead with plans , kids at school etc. and you pick up the slack as best you can . Unless of course it's a serious accident and she has to be there. But if that's the case , their son shouldn't be off for a week on his honeymoon.

A few days of a professional after school care isn't going to traumatise them...

In our family, we'd all pitch in. That is why i said I'd need a load more information