The Plus One is coming on her own.

[BeleagueredBride]

We had a disaster at the beginning of the year as my partner became ill. We had to cancel our wedding. Thankfully we were insured and more importantly he is fine.

All set to go again although six people who said yes iat Easter cannot make the new date.

My partner originally wanted to invite a guy, a more recent friend, he was becoming close to but we had no room but now we can accommodate him Partner has met his partner in passing and I have met the guy in passing but never met his partner.

We invited him and as a matter of courtesy his partner as his plus one.

Reply came back he is staying at home to look after kids but she is coming! WTF?

I want to reply explaining that she was essentially his plus one . Why would you go alone to a virtual stranger’s wedding? She possibly knows two other couples but really?

My partner says we have to suck it up.

What would you do?

It's obviously not the same situation @Tinogirl but unless there's a massive backstory or quite extreme circumstances, missing your own brother's wedding is a big deal.

@Sakura7

I felt I posted to illustrate that lots of people and clearly my brother, invite people in order to be nice to their family and friends but have no real interest in them as individuals.

My brother had no idea why my now husband wanted to be at his wedding alone. He had known him for three years by then and we’d been living together for a year. My brother would have asked him to make up numbers in his five-a-side team. I thought they were friends. It was heartbreaking. He wanted to invite other friends. My mother had to step in to remind him of future relationships.

But this woman has spent a short car ride with the groom and has never met the bride. It is ridiculous that she is taking the seat of another friend.

You say it’s a big deal to miss your brother’s wedding, sadly my boss thought the £3,000,000 I could bring to the company by flying to Minnesota was a bigger one.

Meeting on Thursday afternoon but wedding was on a Friday, I just couldn’t get there. Still heartbroken.

So weird but I think you’ll have to go along with it

Can't believe how many people are commenting that it is an opportunity to get to know her better - who here actually had time to say more than hello to their nearest and dearest on their wedding day, never mind sit and chat to a complete stranger!!

Id say to the friend - haha your plus 1 wants to come without you?!?!

It’s super weird. I am a named invitee to a wedding next year. If my husband couldn’t make it for whatever reason, I would not go. Because even though I know both of them, they are my husband’s friends, I am clearly a plus 1. I definitely wouldn’t go and get him to stay with our child. If childcare was an issue, he’d be going and I would be staying.

ETA Posted on wrong thread. Sorry

If you invited her by name, you need to suck it up. Try to forget about it, it is weird accepting am invitation made as a plus one but I don't think you made it clear it was a couples only invite.

Whereas I would think someone who accepted the invite lacked social skills.

She’s not their friend! Why the fuck is she going???

My wedding 18 years ago cost about £100 a head once you’ve taken in to account drinks on arrival, canapés, 3 course wedding breakfast, drinks for toast, coffee, buffet in the evening. I was a bit miffed having to invite certain partners of friends, but I’d be fucking furious if the friends didn’t attend and their partners did.

So yeah I’d be using every tactic to try and get her to change her mind, even if it does throw doubt over my social skills and makes me sound unhinged. Why is she going?? She seems unhinged.

If she was a plus one it would say on the invitation - John plus one. It didn't It said John and Jane so she legitimately thinks that she's invited.
It does seem odd that she say yes to an invitation where she doesn't knows the bride and groom and only potentially knows other people. Maybe the guy hates weddings and she likes them and they feel it looks better for one of them to go than neither.
But she was invited by name in writing and the fact that she can't read between the lines is just hard luck. You're going to have to tell her blatantly if you really don't want her there.

It is weird AF but you invited her and should just let it be.

He's not making the effort and she's a bit nicer. Maybe?

She was invited by name. It’s one person less, what’s the big deal?

Perhaps they decided she would attend to represent the couple, perhaps she really likes weddings, or wants the chance to socialise and meet new people?

It would be really poor etiquette to un invite her.

Nobody does that. Insane way of working out the numbers

I really cant see an issue with this (maybe I am weird😂) she is one person amongst lots of others you will be so busy with the day that you probably wont notice her. She was invited (by name) so I can see why she thought it was ok to go tbh. My rule of thumb is with any gathering is only invite if you are prepared for them to attend😳