The Plus One is coming on her own.

[BeleagueredBride]

We had a disaster at the beginning of the year as my partner became ill. We had to cancel our wedding. Thankfully we were insured and more importantly he is fine.

All set to go again although six people who said yes iat Easter cannot make the new date.

My partner originally wanted to invite a guy, a more recent friend, he was becoming close to but we had no room but now we can accommodate him Partner has met his partner in passing and I have met the guy in passing but never met his partner.

We invited him and as a matter of courtesy his partner as his plus one.

Reply came back he is staying at home to look after kids but she is coming! WTF?

I want to reply explaining that she was essentially his plus one . Why would you go alone to a virtual stranger’s wedding? She possibly knows two other couples but really?

My partner says we have to suck it up.

What would you do?

No. I wouldn't go to your wedding and leave the person at home who you actually know and invited.

It's on your partner though - his invite, his dilemma and he says leave it.

If the invitation was 'his name' plus one then it would be ok I think to rescind it. If the invitation was 'his name and her name' then I think you have to suck it up.

Did you address the invitation to her?

If it was just him plus one, then it’s odd

But if she’s actually named on the invitation, she thinks she’s invited legitimately

Which I think is fair enough

She's brazen, cheeky, and brave. But her partner must have encouraged her to go in his place since he's at home minding the kids! If she knows others going she probably feels ok about being on her own.

I think leave it be. I mean what can you say to her? You can't come Anne, you were just a +1 and we only invited you because we invited Tom.

I think you have to let her come, the big weirdo.

cancel the wedding (obviously)

Every person was named. No generic plus ones but surely she knows she was invited because she is the partner of my partner’s friend.

My partner says he has met her three times in passing. On one of these occasions it was because his friend needed a lift.

He then offered her a lift literally down the road which she accepted.

Your DP has to call him surely, she's a total random. Fine as a plus one but completely bizarre for her to come alone.

Well, look at it this way, instead of paying for two guests, you only have to pay for one.

Some people do invite everyone to their wedding though

And what’s the betting that she’s coming because she will enjoy it more, you say she knows other people there so it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’d rather mind the kids and she can have a nice night out

You both might make a new friend it all sounds good to me

😂😂😂

Yanbu that it's weird, but it's on you and your fiancé for naming her on the invite. It should have been written as (hisname) plus one to be clear that the invitation extension is a courtesy to him. Naming her puts her as equal.

Most charitable interpretation is that she's keen to get to know you better and to culivate a deeper friendship.

This is Mumsnet so you can guess partner’s hobby.

He is only speculating that she might know the two other couples who are in the same hobby group.

You invited her, she knows some people there and she’s looking forward to getting to know you and your friends better. I don’t think it’s particularly odd. If you don’t want her to come, why invite her?! What difference is it if she is there on her own or there with her partner as you were happy with the latter.

This is such a nice way of looking at it. ☺️

Kate Middleton did this at Peter Phillips first wedding to Autumn Kelly in 2008, when just a gf to William and went on her own. And met the Queen for the first time. Chutzpah!

What is wrong with some people? some people are a bit thick, or can't see what everyone else can see. I would get your DH to sort this out with his friend.

I guess they made the decision that for some reason it was better for him to mind the kids and for her to go to represent them both. I would leave it, not worth the fallout of uninviting people.

Look at it from their point of view. They were both invited but only one of them could go because of childcare. She probably wanted to go, get dressed up, have a night away from the kids, bit of dancing, meet some new people. He probably couldn't be bothered to get all dressed up to just there on his own all evening, so it was the obvious choice for them.

You really don't have to just accept this. Your partner should contact his friend and say along the lines of "What gives, man? We hardly know [partner]. The invite is for you."

I’m with the PP who said don’t worry about it and enjoy her being there, as you say she already knows some people and you may even enjoy her company although the day itself will just be a blur of faces mostly.

If they were invited as a (named) couple, they've obviously considered their options, availability and capacity. Sometimes, both come; sometimes, both have to decline; but sometimes, they will need one to stay at home to look after young children (especially if their children haven't also been invited, as seems more and more common at weddings nowadays), but they can work it so that one adult can attend.

All too often, the mum will stay at home and the dad will get to enjoy the day/night out as the default; so at least they haven't just automatically assigned her role as 'childcare' and his as 'socialising'.

Just be glad that, as the half of the invited couple who can make it, she doesn't ask if she can bring a plus one with her, in place of her partner who can't come because he's looking after the kids!!

They should also be considering their relationship to the bride and groom. Really rude not to.

Erm....let the woman come and enjoy her night out ?

You did invite her so you can’t rescind it now. Maybe she wants to become better friends with you? Take it as a compliment.