Disgusted by DP’s behaviour at a Wedding today

[Pregnantupset]

I’m sat typing this in my hotel room after being at a Wedding today. I’m pregnant so haven’t been drinking and am at my wits end with my ‘D’P and feel so stuck now after what has happened today.

I believe he has a problem with alcohol, he has drunk so much in recent months and just blames it on the stress of his job and being a Dad soon. He has these massive sessions on a weekend and drinks to excess with his mates (nearly all single).

Today, he was pissed within two hours of arriving at 1pm, constantly disappeared leaving me with others I hardly know and didn’t see how I was feeling at any point.

The speeches were a bit of a farce, it ended up with people with no ‘role’ taking turns to speak and he asked to say a few words. I knew it was going to be bad and his friends were banging the tables to ‘gee’ him up.

He rambled on, was swearing and made a remark about the bride and groom having sex and that he ‘slipped the groom a blue pill to make sure it’s a memorable first shag’.

Someone came into the room from the direction of the toilets mid speech and he pointed him out and said something about him ‘lining one up’ which his mates all found hilarious.

He has been an utter embarrassment and I’m glad he is still downstairs allowing me to relax in peace.

Oh god, OP, that sounds awful. The poor bride - was she or her family trying to shut them down? Her wedding descended into a bawling load of drink blokes.

You must be mortified. And no wonder you are upset.

I would have a very serious talk with him when you get back. Lay out the reasons why if he wants to be a Dad to his baby things must change, and change now. No negotiation. Tell him he needs to make his choice. But that you will not bring your baby up in a family where he gets pissed with his mates all the time, and you will not stay in a relationship with a man who leaves his pregnant wife abandoned at an event while gets pissed with his mates. Calm, direct and serious.

I hope he pulls his head out of his immature backside and cops on.

Came on to say exactly this. If he kept on disappearing it was to do coke with his mates.

Him blaming his poor behaviour on the stress of being a dad soon does not bode well. I’m sorry you’re in this situation and would encourage you to leave sooner rather than later - sadly it won’t improve. He won’t become who you - and your child - need and want him to be. Don’t let him ruin what could be a lovely life for you and your child.

Is it too far away to call a taxi and for you to just go home? Leave him to figure it out when he sobers up and sees you’ve gone.

This screams coke head, as well as alcohol.

I had a baby with one (I genuinely didnt know) He disappeared before the baby was even a year old, which I've realised is an absolute blessing in disguise.

Is it too far away to call a taxi and for you to just go home? Leave him to figure it out when he sobers up and sees you’ve gone.

Ask him how much he's spent on coke this year. Its not cheap.

His behaviour is not going to get better and unless you leave him you will be bringing your baby up in a toxic environment. He’s hanging out with single friends because they see him as funny and a laugh and that’s the version of himself he loves. He doesn’t want to have a baby or grow up and his drinking and drugs will get worse and you don’t want to be saddled with his addictions.

Hi op my ex also increased his drinking when I was pregnant it got worse and worse.
my advice is to be brutal with your standards and expectations and be willing to let him ruin it if he doesn’t meet them. If he allows your relationship to be ruined he planned it all along. Give baby your name and don’t put him on birth certificate for baby’s safety

She can drive herself home

Everyone saying “I bet it’s coke!” that’s basically in the OP, the bit about lining one up in the bathroom? I don’t think that’s a big reveal.

OP is a recreational user, or is this out of the blue for him?

@Pregnantupset People found this funny though, so it sounds as if he is likeable. Some people start fights at weddings and get thrown out.

Also yes. Dunno why I didn’t think of that. Anyway I’d probably go home.

God Îm unworldly I didn’t realize that’s what he meant. And everyone laughed .. eugh.

My 1st thought is that he's having second thoughts/scared of becoming a dad. Has he involved himself in any of the baby planning?

He was definitely doing sniff in the toilet by the way. The speeches give that away.

If I were you I'd be giving that baby my surname x

This! being the child of an alcoholic is a living nightmare, never knowing what mood to expect, walking on eggshells, scared to bring friends round because of what might be said to them or in front of them, embarrassed beyond measure watching your parent not reading the room, desperate to leave home but worried about the people being left behind.

The obvious question is why did you think it was a good idea to get pregnant by this man. The low standards I see on here are depressing.

YANBU

He’s an uncouth lout. He sounds absolutely revolting.

I married one like this. He spent 17 years ruining out lives. Don't be me.

I feel like I am the only one trying to give the guy some slack. If this is a one off ,b them you can still work it out . Seems like he wasn't the only one being a bit rambunctious, lads banging tables, randoms making speeches . Sounds like a lairy crowd if nobody complained and actually laughed . Maybe you being sober heightened things for you .
It's all very well people telling you to LTB but it's not exactly that simple when you are expecting a baby with him .
Have a discussion about how you thought it was a bit much and you hope things will be more normal especially with your baby coming .

Ok this doesn't sound great. How did the bride and grime respond to this?

Unless he radically changes and soon, there is no happy future for you with him.

Bride and grime? 😂

This thread is also right next to yours right now: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5587372-my-partners-drinking-had-got-us-a-referral-to-social-services-and-im-scared

Worth a read

This ….

Has he shown no indication until now that he’s a total dick? Yuck. Why choose him to be the father of your child? Such low standards.