Disgusted by DP’s behaviour at a Wedding today

[Pregnantupset]

I’m sat typing this in my hotel room after being at a Wedding today. I’m pregnant so haven’t been drinking and am at my wits end with my ‘D’P and feel so stuck now after what has happened today.

I believe he has a problem with alcohol, he has drunk so much in recent months and just blames it on the stress of his job and being a Dad soon. He has these massive sessions on a weekend and drinks to excess with his mates (nearly all single).

Today, he was pissed within two hours of arriving at 1pm, constantly disappeared leaving me with others I hardly know and didn’t see how I was feeling at any point.

The speeches were a bit of a farce, it ended up with people with no ‘role’ taking turns to speak and he asked to say a few words. I knew it was going to be bad and his friends were banging the tables to ‘gee’ him up.

He rambled on, was swearing and made a remark about the bride and groom having sex and that he ‘slipped the groom a blue pill to make sure it’s a memorable first shag’.

Someone came into the room from the direction of the toilets mid speech and he pointed him out and said something about him ‘lining one up’ which his mates all found hilarious.

He has been an utter embarrassment and I’m glad he is still downstairs allowing me to relax in peace.

Having a baby is incredibly stressful. It’s lovely, but it’s a hell of a lot of work. It only works when you do it as a team.

If he’s finding life stressful now, how does he plan to reduce the stress once baby is here and you’re both getting little sleep, bickering and struggling generally?

Will you trust him with the baby? What are his plans for drinking once a dad? Is he expecting to still go out drinking every weekend once they’re here?

Sadly I think you may find the relationship untenable once the baby is here. There’s nothing more disappointing than a crap dad.

He’s in the Sports industry. So he goes in and does rehabilitation and is still in scope of the testing regime.

Alcoholic coke head alert. Walk and make a nice life for you and your baby. These two things will always be his priority and you and your baby will always be last on the list.

Also the testing thing they know how to play it. 3 days to come out of your system. He’s playing you all.

Bride and Grime is a fantastic typo for this type of bloke 😄

😂

He sounds like a disrespectful and immature boor. It is a great shame you are expecting a child with him because he doesn’t sound like he’ll be a good dad. Not a good role model for a son, certainly.,

It sounds as if you have a child already OP. Of course having a baby is stressful but he needs to grow up. I'm sure it's stressful for you too but you're having to carry on being an adult.
What he said was pretty pathetic and childish at a wedding and not appropriate. It's not a stag do.
I am sure he'll play it down when/if you talk to him so expect that. If he does apologise, you need to think about the drinking as it's both a MH problem and a financial problem.
He's probably scared of having to be a responsible person for the first time.

So he’s a footballer in the lower leagues? Toxic lads culture.

Do not raise your child with such a man. You and your child would be better off on your own without him in your day to day lives. He’s no partner to you and will be no sort of decent role model to your child.

Doesn’t sound great, but also doesn’t sound like a bootable offence. I assume the wedding was for one of his friends as you mention being stuck with people you don’t know. Lots of blokes become cringey edge lords after a few drinks, I’d be way more angry if he did it and the couple were friends on my side. As for the boozing he might just be taking the opportunity to get it in before the real responsibility kicks in.

Sounds like a tosser. Get rid.

Keeps disappearing - probably taking drugs

He sounds insufferable.

I've said it on here before - it's nigh impossible to love someone that you don't respect. Losing respect for someone, any love you had for them just starts quietly draining away, until one day you look at them and wonder what the hell you're doing with this arse.

"At his age his career is approaching an end and he is scared as to what will come next. Financially he will be fine for a while (is still being paid) but between his career and becoming a Dad, he’s in a bit of a mess."
I'd suggest a Talk. A Serious Talk. No more of this childish hiding in drink rather than facing up to his imminent future.

If age was always going to be career-ending - well, that has always been sitting in his future, and he needed to be planning for it, not sticking his head in the sand (or in his case, the bottle). The clock cannot be stopped so he needs to sober up and start planning for "what comes next". Same for becoming a Dad. The clock won't stop, it's coming soon, and he needs to crawl out of that bottle and be man enough to be a Dad.

Be blunt. Make it clear his drinking is a problem, and he's a wanker when he's drunk. Time to grow up and be a man. Then maybe you can respect him.

Sometimes I wonder why women fought so hard for contraception and abortion rights.

OP maybe you got with him at the height of his game but right now he is clinging to his old life by his fingertips!

This screams of mid life/ identity crisis, who is he without the ‘team’ and status. He sounds like a man child panicked at having to grow up.

I would insist he goes to a councillor or life coach (qualified) and I would also tell him that he is on thin ice!

And wonen talk about other peoples blaringly obvious redflags but never look at themselves

Drinking to excess and being a Tosser is no way to behave if he’s worried about his future. Ok , it’s a wedding and that gets some leeway, but an ongoing problem with alcohol? That’s got to be addressed. He should be screwing the nut, as they say round here and planning ahead. Finding something before he needs something. Jumping into a bottle and being an idiot won’t endear him to anyone for future prospects.

As for having a baby with a man child…SMH
Why do women choose to have children with man boys who can’t grow up? If he is a regular drinker with a problem, quit. It never gets better. It only gets worse and you end up with 2 babies, and the DP is the problematic one.

Any attention is better than no attention maybe

It sounds like the ' WEDDING RECEPRION' was a continuation of the Stag Doo. Having said that : THIS is a usual thing : That one of the mates gets up and causes embarrassment to The Groom by revelation of antics on Stag Doo etc. Though your partner took it a step further...Why dont you just put it down to : Lads being Lads. Because nothing will ever change that fact. Your current pregnancy means that you want everything perfect and men ain't perfect. You need to weigh up the Pro s and Cons of the grand scheme of things that do you want to jeopardise your situation because of a few crazy antics at a wedding????? Do you Love him and are you more financially secure without him...look at the practicalities at the reality of tolerating his antics a few nights a week with drink.Some people have a problem.. dies his whole personality change when he's been on the booze, is he a heckle and Hyde character...etc....violent. my EX. Husband threw a Book at me when pregnant and I forgave him.I divorced him eventually though because of different reasons .

I was also a bit of a dick when drunk and my DH put up with a lot over the years. At my own wedding my sil went on at me about not drinking too much as all eyes would be on me etc. After one evening my mil had a chat with me and I decided to stop drinking for the sake of my own mental health and my family. DD growing up and starting to attend family parties and I didn’t want her to witness anything. And I wasn’t actually a big drinker just a binge drinker about twice a year!