Do not enter-you are a s**t mum

[Getthosesquishiesoutofthehouse]

This is what my 8 year old wrote on her door handle thing, that you can hang over your door.
Following another argument about not being allowed on YouTube, she stormed upstairs, shut the door and put this sign on the handle, she then fell asleep.
We were travelling lots at the weekend and are all lacking sleep. Dh says to just leave it, but I find it upsetting and was shocked she'd written it.
None of us have mentioned it yet.

What would you do?

Christ, I went through this a lot with my son at this age. I turned off the WiFi at some point and you’d have thought I’d committed a crime! Your daughter is checking boundaries. You run the shop- no YouTube means no YouTube. And the fact she’s put this note on the door means she’s overstepped. I’d remove the note, give it to her and say very calmly but firmly.. this is unacceptable language and behaviour, I am very disappointed with you and I’ll wait in the kitchen for you to come and apologise to me, then we can talk about it.
Then leave the room and see what happens. Don’t match her anger with yours. Stay calm. If she starts tantrumming then keep repeating calmly: I’m here when you’re ready to talk.
It’s so difficult managing screens etc, but she needs to understand that you control the content and time and that’s just how it is.

At age 8? It would be going straight in the bin. A conversation about using bad language would also be in pipeline and possibly a sanction depending.

Edited as saw why it had happened.

do calmly say that it is inappropriate language and that you will nor accept such behaviour. Explain that much of the contents of you tube is not suitable for 8 year olds and that the reason it is banned is because you are a good parent. Then state clearly what she is allowed to watch, amount of time and if there is a specific item on YouTube she needs to let you know so you can vet it. Then give a firm warning for the punishment if repeated. Gentle parenting but with a stick attached!

Dear Shit Kid,
You can find somewhere else to live. You have seven days.
Love Mum

Disclaimer: I don't have any kids, don't worry!

I’d remove not only the sign but her potential future access to YouTube and be telling her she’s lucky I didn’t remove her bedroom door as well - do not enter indeed.
She’s old enough to know she’s been extremely rude.

Unbelievable responses on this thread. Come on, be parents!!

Sign needs to go in bin. YouTube needs to be banned until she’s in secondary school (at the earliest).

If you let this go at 8, I guarantee it’ll only get worse. She’s tested the boundary, yes. Now you need to show her that the boundary is a brick wall.

The husband is a lazy drippy twat as well. Tell him he’s a shit dad, see how he likes it.

Unbelievable responses on this thread. Come on, be parents!!

Sign needs to go in bin. YouTube needs to be banned until she’s in secondary school (at the earliest).

If you let this go at 8, I guarantee it’ll only get worse. She’s tested the boundary, yes. Now you need to show her that the boundary is a brick wall.

The husband is a lazy drippy twat as well. Tell him he’s a shit dad, see how he likes it.

So you can't bring yourself to write shit on an adult forum but your 8 year old leaves signs like this round the house @Getthosesquishiesoutofthehouse

Where has she learnt this word?

What is general behaviour like?

And why oh why does your 8yo have access to YouTube?

Kids give the very worst of themselves to their mums because we are the safest bet for their worst behaviour. (They know that we are unlikely to keel-haul them or drop them off at child services.)

I would over-write her sign with one that says, "You're grounded."

Then maybe when she's calmed down explain to her that you've decided to let her live on this occasion.

Bloody kids.

Christ alive…

And no 8 year old should be having unsupervised access to digital content.

I would ignore it. You said no and that's it. Just keep sticking to your boundaries, there's no debate whether she (in the moment) thinks you are a shit Mum or not. If anything I'd be telling her that you are the parent, those are your rules and she can deal with it!

I know - this is why so many kids are absolutely feral.

I have dealt with similar in the past (mainly verbal) - when my kids were testing boundaries and I didn’t give in.

When I was next asked for something (treat or something similar), I would say something along the lines of “I would love to but unfortunately I am a shit mum” (or whatever I was called). It worked a treat.

If she literally fell asleep as soon as she put it there, then in the immediate term, I'd let her sleep - no fight was ever won when everyone is exhausted or just woken up to be reprimanded. But I'd take the sign off her door and put it to one side.

Once everyone has calmed down, slept, showered and fed or whatever needs to be done to get back on an even keel, I'd be sitting her down and telling her that the language is unacceptable - end of, no debate, and this is the punishment for that - keep it in line with what normal punishments are in your family. (BTW, you and DH might need to have a serious think about the household language; it doesn't necessarily come from YouTube. I love a good swear, but that comes with consequences you need to parent to)

But I wouldn't get into the detail of her hating you in that particular moment; every kid has hated their parent and their rules at some point. And if you kick off about everything, including screen time, the sign and the swearing, it all just becomes a big mess of being told off, and the points won't hit home.

But then you need to really deal with the screen issue because that sounds like the underlying problem - so new and stricter controls, new and stricter time limits. And you and DH need to stick to those and follow through when she inevitably kicks off or when things are tough, and a screen might be an "easy" option. Nope, set the rules and stick to them.

Don't take it personally!
She is tired she fell asleep

This! 100 times this.

Who does she think she is? 8 years old? That wouldn’t be happening here. You need to stamp on this quick OP before she gets to Secondary school or your problem will be huge

That is quite a take you have there @Screamingabdabz

It’s daft how many people on here think it’s fine for an 8 year old to be calling anything ‘shit’c nethermind their own mum. How are kids suppose to learn any respect for anything is swearing at your own parents is absolutely fine?

Sorry but this did make me laugh, the cheeky madam! No it's not ok and I wouldn't let her get away with it, but also wouldn't start world war 3 over it! I think I'd be tempted to use a bit of humour to get her to see the error of her ways - for example 'Oh I haven't made any breakfast for you today cos I'm such a shit mum'! or 'I didn't wash your favourite outfit/buy your favourite snacks cos I'm too busy being a shit mum'! Or 'I can't drive you to dancing/your friend's house/that party cos I'm such a shit mum'! You get the idea 😂 I'm sure an apology will be forthcoming! You can then point out to her that being a good mum isn't about letting her have whatever she wants, but doing what you know is best for her, even when she doesn't like it - like making sure she gets enough sleep, does her schoolwork, brushes her teeth etc!

This made me laugh and I have kids! There’s days I’d have been tempted to write something like this 😆

Oh she'd get a reaction, and believe me she wouldn't like it.

This level of disrespect is beyond unacceptable. The phrase "tonne of bricks" would be used.

I am shocked, truly, at the amount of parents on here who would let their child display this attitude towards them with no comment, let alone punishment.

Why is she even asking to go on YouTube?? I assume at her age it’s only allowed if you wanted to show her a pre selected video, likely educational?!

No screen time and grounded for a fortnight. If she’s usually allowed on YouTube etc that changes after grounding!

Er no!!! You definitely don't ignore this behaviour from any child let alone an 8tr old ffs!!!
Serious consequences that have impact with immediate effect otherwise you are in for a world of trouble as this behaviour escalates; and it will unless it is nipped in the bud right now!!!

I wouldn't go anywhere near her room, including tea time. When she decides to come out (which she will) an apology is required before anything else is done for her. After all, shit mums don't do anything for their kids, do they?