Do not enter-you are a s**t mum

[Getthosesquishiesoutofthehouse]

This is what my 8 year old wrote on her door handle thing, that you can hang over your door.
Following another argument about not being allowed on YouTube, she stormed upstairs, shut the door and put this sign on the handle, she then fell asleep.
We were travelling lots at the weekend and are all lacking sleep. Dh says to just leave it, but I find it upsetting and was shocked she'd written it.
None of us have mentioned it yet.

What would you do?

I’m sure some of them read over their mums’ shoulders. And even without that, practise what you preach, and all that. Mind you, some mumsnetters have admitted to giving their children the finger while their backs are turned.

I'm sure safeguarding would be way more concerned about the abuse you are suggesting than a child saying 'shit', not that she has spoken the word or used it at school or towards a child.

Glad to hear that you have such a lovely relationship with your son but relative to this post you are referring back 30 years when parenting was a still a little easier to navigate and sadly it has to be accepted that these days children are growing up faster both physically and mentally, it's just the way it is and parenting has to reflect this and has to start much sooner than ever before. 😥
I think you should re read my post as can't see where I suggested that OP should be 'harsh' or 'come down hard' with her DD, in fact quite the opposite, primarily for the good of the daughter herself but also for the household in mind going forward...have you ever seen Supernanny and/or Dr. Phil! 😱
I also suggested 'appropriate' punishment (decided by the OP as she would obviously be aware of what DD would respond to) to hopefully assist DD to associate any further similar actions on her behalf as negative and unacceptable!! 🙁
I also touched on the importance of explaining to her DD the significance of the language she used as the probability is that she just spouted parrot fashion, and in anger and frustration, a phrase that she has heard or read giving more validity to OP's original decision regarding YouTube! 😊

When she wakes up, I would go in and directly say ' I know that you were upset earlier and that is fine we all get upset sometimes....but it is completely unacceptable and hurtful to write that about me. I think I do a lot for you and am not a shit mum. I'm willing to start with a clean slate but I don't ever want to see that again' and walk out.

Oh Goodness.....The wooden spoon. I'm having Southern Mama flashbacks as we speak.....Shivers......

It didn’t come out of her mouth. It was written down with letters missed out.

Oooh this is good this would have made me feel so ashamed as a kid.

Nothing wrong with Youtube, but then I'm not a potty mouthed, 8 year old brat.

Sorry, but I'd yank her out of bed, have her toss her sign, and have a talk about respect and boundaries before she's pulling this as a teen with car keys. That is insane behavior from an 8 yo. She's not in charge, you are.

Easily shocked then. My brother & I started school in the same year & that's where we learned the word 'shithouse'. My mother told me that. We lived in a rough & rural place😀 that was in 1959.

Stick to the no YouTube utter utter shite.

yes she is tired but it’s not ok to be mean. I wouldn’t start a row tonight but I would raise it with her calmly tomorrow and stick to the boundary.

it’s ok to be Angry and frustrated it’s not ok to be unkind.

I remember my then 4 year old feeling hard done by something I said I can’t remember what…he announced he wished he had a different mum. I was devastated and outraged and opened the front door told him to go and find one and shut it! I could see him through the window but he stood there and howled. We did eventually talk though why that was a hurtful thing to say but bugger me they push buttons!

Wouldn't worry about it, it is actually quite funny! When everything calms down, which it always does, maybe a quiet word about not using that not very nice language. But nothing to worry about, sounds like a child with spirit!

That’s a bit OTT!

Thank her for pointing out that your a sh#t Ma.
Thanks for noticing.

Tell her
Now, this kind of behaviour isn't going to work ,write what you like
But you are not going on youtube etc.
Ive got a very thick skin, its what sh#t Ma's develop over time.

She is trying to emotionally bully you, nip it in the bud because its going to get much worse belive me.
Then leave it at that, show no emtion, she's boundry testing and seeing how far she can push it.

Think she is testing you. What is she saying about her dad's parenting skills??

Been there. The tantrum won't last long.
In a similar situation I wrote a note back and hung it on the inside of her door handle. Told her I loved her but was still not getting what she wanted

Of course she will. She goes to school and to other places. It is just her expressing her hurt in the only way she can and when everyone is tired is not the time to discuss it.

It was over a week ago so they’ll probably be over it by now