Husband enabled me to embarrass myself

[HiyaWishy]

Husband was sat on the couch with his earphones in playing a game on his phone. He often wears earphones, not just when on a phonecall.
He's got the dog next to him.
I go over, fuss the dog and ask him if he's showering today as he doesn't shower every day. I've no idea why, it gives me the ick. Last week we made a point of making an effort to have sex. I actually said "you've not showered since Saturday. It's Wednesday today. It's not conducive to you having a shag." His response "yeah, I'm sure Bob really wanted to know that'"
He was on the phone!!! I am mortified!!!
I know Bob and have been to his house, know his family.

We've been together 20 years and have two older teenagers.

YABU: I should have checked before talking that he wasn't on the phone

YANBU: He could have prevented that whole situation and if he wanted a shag, he'd shower and instigate it rather than leaving it to me to manage (like everything else).

Lol, that made me laugh. If penishead is rude, so is fanny 😂

Unless we’re talking fannypacks.

I think its pretty clear they meant 'I've no idea why he doesn't shower' then 'it gives me the ick'

Maybe she meant she'd no idea why he doesn't shower more often. (Punctuation can help!)

That ship has sailed.

I’ve got to my mid 60s without irritated skin, damaged oils or whatever.

I grew up in a time of Carbolic, Lifebouy and Wrights coal tar soap, and Vosene shampoo. My family were squeaky clean, bathed virtually every night, clothes washed regularly in hot water and Tide, Ariel or Daz.
We were a family of manual workers and sporty people. It has never crossed my mind to be any different throughout my life, and I brought my son up to be the same. He does a mucky manual job and showers every single night.
There may be many and varied surveys as there are for everything and you can always find one that supports your way of thinking, but I am still of the opinion that a good strip wash, shower or bath daily is essential. I can’t bear unwashed bodies or days-old hair wafting around. No excuse for it. It’s the basics.
I used to work with the public, and you can always tell those who need a map to get to the soap and hot water. They think they don’t smell but they absolutely do.

Never mind Bob, deal with your revolting DH. I have relatives that don’t wash daily and they stink. After they’ve been to stay we have to open all the windows. I would say no sex till he adopts a daily shower routine.

you're not the one who should be embarrassed.

The embarrassment is all his OP ..you said nothing untruthful or shameful to you …only DH and his unwashed ways …I’m guessing Bob knew you might shag lol

@AutumnalGlory

I just don't feel the need to. I do find showers pleasant but I don't feel dirty or uncomfortable if it's only been a couple of days without a shower. I still feel clean enough.

I don't necessarily always put on fresh clothes after a shower either - fresh underwear, yes, but I'll often put back on the same clothes I was wearing before the shower.

@Cherrytree86

We do shower, just not as often as you think we should.

But what other people think of our showering frequency doesn't matter. It's our bodies, our choice.

@Cherrytree86

Because that's all I feel the need to. I simply don't feel I need a shower every single day.

I don't care as such it's just that a couple no longer sharing a bed often indicates they are no longer interested in one another and this lack of interest may be
related to why his hygiene has dropped in standards.

Most couples share a bed.
It's not a throwback at all, it's what the norm is.

There is nothing 'needy' about it and it is bizarre to suggest that is.

I don't care what you do but to suggest that a couple are somehow being unusual by sharing a bed is bizarre.

You're the unusual one. Not that I care.

Just laugh it off

I'm sure bobs wife has had the same conversation

However it is pretty vile he's not showering is he ok

If anyone should be embarrassed it should be your absolutely scruffy git of a husband, the guys probably taking the piss out of him now he knows the dirty tramp hasn't had a wash in over half a week.

Should be him that's mortified.
Perhaps he will shower and tell you when he is on the phone now...2 birds!

He sounds vile.

I can think of a couple of women locally who could stand to wash a lot more often. They’re married, too. Does that mean women are just gross? Should we call them vaginaheads?

The only one who should be embarrassed is you DH cos now his friend knows he has poor hygiene. You may not need to shower every single day but at least every other so going 5 days without a shower is vile & I feel bad for you having to put up with that. I’d find that so off putting too

This

He’s the one who should be embarrassed. Why is a fully grown man not showering every day??

He should shower more regularly.

But I wouldn't say he enabled anything.

Am I unreasonable because that made me laugh OP? I'm sorry, and it's him that should be embarrassed!

How did he enable you to embarrass yourself?
Why are you even embarrassed? He is the dirty pig who hasn't washed.

This is the funniest post ever on Mumsnet. Thanks for making me laugh!!

YABU. I’d have found that hilarious if I was Bob and wouldn’t have thought any the worse of you. Word to the wise, Bob already knows you’ve done it…you’ve got two kids 😜