AIBU: people calling it peri-menopause instead of menopause

[Joyful26]

ok firstly I know that technically you are in peri-menopause, then the menopause itself is literally the day your period stops altogether- then after that one moment in time you are post-menopausal.

But people always calling it peri-menopause is clearly to indicate that they are actually still really young and nowhere near the menopause itself yet.

I think that’s why it grates on me so much. Because on the one hand they’re championing the issues that affect women etc, but at the same time making it clear that they themselves are actually very young and youthful- yet not afraid to mention these issues.

for what it’s worth I can’t be bothered faux-impressing anyone and I just call it the menopause.

but every single one of my friends calls it peri-menopause or they’re simply’peri’. We’re all mid 40s.

just saw someone on LinkedIn purporting to do a Women’s rights post, someone in her 50s commented about the menopause, and the original poster replied but talked about peri-menopause.

AIBU or a people who call it peri-menopause just a bit vain? 😅

Er, no you aren’t right. As you have explained the menopause is once your periods have stopped, peri-menopause is the period leading up to the menopause (technically peri means ‘around’ but generally understood to be the period leading up to and around the menopause). It can go on for bloody ages and cause chaos for women ( bully for you it hasn’t been a problem for you), so why be so bitchy to make it more difficult. Totally unnecessary.

Well, it's not really vanity to talk about your hormone levels getting messed up, growing weird hairs, smelling funny, crying for no reason, or any of that.
If I wanted to seem youthful, it wouldn't come up at all.
It is peri, till your last period, which for some of us isn't until we are in our 50"s . So no, I don't think it's anything to do with vanity, it's just what it's called.

You don’t like the fact that people are using the correct terminology? I think it’s a bit silly to have such strong opinions on this.

Menopause isn’t the day of your last period, it’s when you haven’t had a period for a year. Otherwise how would you know?

post-menopause is a term I’ve only heard recently.

If my GP says I’m peri menopausal then that’s what I’m going to call it.

The problems that arise once menopause hits and the problems that arise in perimenopause can be quite different. I think the suggestion that people are using the term out of some sort of vanity is a serious leap.

I have had issues but I just call it the menopause to save time 🤷‍♀️

I'm nearly 58 and have only just gone a year with no periods but it sure as hell wasn’t vanity that made me rant about being peri menopausal for the last 9 years and the affect it was having on my mental health, my joints, my sex life and my never ending fatigue.

If you’re all mid-40s then you’re all peri unless you’ve had early onset menopause. If you still have your periods or it’s been less than one year since your last one, then you’re not menopausal, you’re peri. That’s a medical fact.

Please educate yourself. You are wrong about so many things.

It's quite sad really, to think that despite the greater openness and discussion in society, the better attitude of workplaces towards women's health, many celebrities raising awareness, yet clearly here we still have a woman, in her 40s, about to experience this herself, who has no idea what she is talking about, and lacks the understanding about what she and her friends might be going through or will soon experience.

Having gone through menopause early (41) I am determined to talk about it so that others will know what it can be like.

That said, the weird bit was actually peri-menopause which is when you get all the weird symptoms but may not realise what's causing them.

Mine started at around 37 and I had no idea why I was suddenly unable to recognise faces, felt completely surplus to requirements in my family and sometimes couldn't sleep more than 4 or 5 hours at night.

Sleep was the one that tipped me over the edge, to seeing my GP and getting treatment, and it was only when the HRT cured all the others too that I realised!

So I suppose people talking about peri-menopause is a good sign that awareness is increasing and hopefully there will be fewer people like me who were clueless

Agree - and the medical profession are very clear on that definition as it determines the type of HRT they will prescribe

Agree. Nothing to do with vanity, it’s just the correct term.

so you mis-diagnose yourself to save a nanosecond. Fair enough if you’re that busy and don’t have the time to say the word peri.

however don’t accuse the rest of us for being vain just because we prefer to use the correct and accurate terminology

This is all wrong.

Peri takes less than a second to say

Like others have said, people are just using the correct terminology. But I don't remember the term "peri" growing up (and I don't think it was just that I wasn't aware), and "the change" was whispered about, if discussed at all.
But then I don't remember people talking about endo, or recognising weight gain wasn't necessarily about overeating, or talking about miscarriage either.

I’m so glad that women my age (also mid 40s) feel free to discuss their experiences in the lead-up to menopause. You being chippy and insecure about it is your issue

oh way to dismiss women’s medical problems. Should we all just shut up and go away and pretend it’s not happening?!

Still in peri, still having periods AT 56!

Oh well that's alright then. You saving time is much more important than any sort of biological reality.

To use a well known phrase or saying, you do you. But you can piss right off with suggesting everyone else should fall in with you.

Peri- means around. It is a prefix, like perimeter. Perimenopause is the time before (and after, but that still gets ignored).

I am 54 and still perimenopausal. I am neither young nor vain. I still have symptoms and just wish it would fucking stop. 10 years in and I am so over it. And yet, not over it.

Clinically, the word “menopause” is used only after there have been 12 consecutive months of amenorrhea. So a whole year longer than what you wrote.

I think it’s useful to have this different term to describe the period up to and including a year after your last period, given that this can be such a destabilising, and in some cases protracted, period of time. I think a key part is how long it can last.

If your friends are in their forties, it’s likely that a lot of them are still having periods, or have done in the last 12 months, but may still be having symptoms.

I don’t see it as vanity but more a term to validate this period (ha) of time prior to the actual menopause. Without a specific word for it, isn’t it easier to dismiss its impact?

The time after menopause has its own different difficulties; in my view it’s a good thing we’ve become more precise in how we define these different things.

Still having regular natural periods, but the GP has agreed that my energy levels and physical niggles/ injuries fit peri-menopause criteria and has prescribed HRT. Based on family history I could easily go another decade before going through the actual menopause stage.

Peri-menopause is factually correct for the stage I'm at, and being clear about it has helped me and can potentially help peers of similar age and issues.

I agree with you , every bloody thing has to be medicalised and have a label .

I didn't have a 'peri' because it didn't exist . The menopause was some hot flushes and I felt murderous for a couple of days a month (but only towards my husband funnily enough ) I get fed up with hearing about it .