AIBU: people calling it peri-menopause instead of menopause

[Joyful26]

ok firstly I know that technically you are in peri-menopause, then the menopause itself is literally the day your period stops altogether- then after that one moment in time you are post-menopausal.

But people always calling it peri-menopause is clearly to indicate that they are actually still really young and nowhere near the menopause itself yet.

I think that’s why it grates on me so much. Because on the one hand they’re championing the issues that affect women etc, but at the same time making it clear that they themselves are actually very young and youthful- yet not afraid to mention these issues.

for what it’s worth I can’t be bothered faux-impressing anyone and I just call it the menopause.

but every single one of my friends calls it peri-menopause or they’re simply’peri’. We’re all mid 40s.

just saw someone on LinkedIn purporting to do a Women’s rights post, someone in her 50s commented about the menopause, and the original poster replied but talked about peri-menopause.

AIBU or a people who call it peri-menopause just a bit vain? 😅

As if we don't have enough to do carrying all the extra emotional labour 😩.

But they are using the term correctly, peri-menopause is the time leading up to menopause (when your periods actually stop) if you are still having periods but experiencing the awful symptoms that comes with it you are in peri-menopause, it can go on for a decade. I'm not quite sure how saying you are in peri-menopause makes you sound youthful, I'm 43 and have been having symptoms for a couple of years (although my periods remain regular as clockwork), I'm the only one in my circle of same age friends who seems to be suffering from it, I can't say it makes me sound youthful, I'd say it makes me sound pretty old!

Women get seriously affected when the primary hormones controlling our sex biology slowly dissapear. It affects not only reproduction but our mental and physical health, and the reason I can't believe the OP is a woman.

SOME women! Please don't presume to speak for us all.

You should know and do better than this, particularly given the wealth of educational material out there, and being in it yourself. No one gives a fuck what you call it, it's shit, and as women we need to stop hair splitting and judging. Grow up.

Your body is being affected even if you don't feel the symptoms that many women do. Perimenopause impacts female bodies. All of them.

That's like being pre-diabetic and saying you've got diabetes, it's just wrong.

Women can't win. I remember being late-40s and mentioning to an older friend that I was experiencing menopausal symptoms. She told me I was "far too young." And now, at 50, I'm reading here that if I say "peri-menopausal symptoms" I'm trying to cling onto my youth!

When I have gone for a whole year with no periods, I will have gone through the menopause. Until then, I am desperately unhappily in peri-menopause.

Im utterly with you on this OP!! its just menopause isn't it!! I like to say ive got a periheadache when I know I haven't drunk enough water and I can feel it coming on. Periperiod? AKA premenstrual?? And im peri late for work if I don't get off mumsnet!😂

Has it ever occured to us that one of the reasons that we're so miserable as a society is because a lot of us spend so much of our leisure time online and these days the function of the internet seems to be to literally be a fun sponge. Everybody is looking for something to moan about, policing people's speech, shaming somebody and plastering them all over the village facebook site because they parked 1cm over a dropped kerb or dropped a crisp wrapper on the street, tearing down a film or tv series that might be the one thing that brings another person joy and bullying the actors in it ...

Just stop moaning to internet strangers about something that really doesn't matter and get oit there and enjoy something in the real world and you'll probably find that you're much happier whatever you or everyone else calls the menopause

I imagine the poster leaves voice notes as well as texting is too time consuming.

This feels like a new level of the Trumpesque era. Preferring to sound stupid because they’re too lazy to say a word properly.

I say “of a certain age” , none of this medical bollox.

Interestingly the squeamishness about menstruation and sanitary products means that for decades they were tested with watery substances nothing like the more mucusy behaviour and variability of period blood which differ in how a pad or tampon absorbs them which means that describing a period off the baseline of how your product absorbs your period is not consistent which can impact in how HCPs deal with women's health issues which is already an inconsistent zone of poor research and education.

You're trying to be funny but you're wrong :/
Perimenopause is a long phase of a woman's life. Why do you think it shouldn't have a name? And I'm not sure why you think premenstrual is gotcha - it's literally the same concept. Premenstrual is a hormonal phase.

Interesting you find it ‘vain’ for women to talk about it, OP.

I think it’ll take society some time to acknowledge most women’s bodies are in a constant state of flux (more so if they have children) and they should be understood for this. When I was young, older women mouthed “the change” to each other like Miranda, as an unspoken shame rather than a natural process. They ‘put up and shut up’.

I’m so pleased it’s now talked about openly. I’m post-menopausal and (thankfully) had no physical peri symptoms at all. However, I went to my GP for stress, depression and anxiety, was referred to CBT and they never once mentioned perimenopause could be the reason. My (ex)partner and family made me feel I was inadequate and ‘mental’, as both sides of the family view poor mental health as an overindulgent weakness.

When, actually (in hindsight) I was coping exceptionally well with perimenopause, given I had three young kids, a v demanding, mentally draining job, was constantly physically active and had a busy social life.

So, I urge women to talk about it til the cows some home. Call it what you like, but make sure every woman knows.

You have time to set up a thread on mumsnet but not say 2 syllables? If you're in peri menopause it's different to menopause, like pre and post natal.

I am sick of people who are 40 or 41 saying they are in peri menopause 😅😅😅 It's the new trend. They are about 6 years too young.

Do you realise that menopause only lasts a day? Peri and post menopause can last decades, it’s useful to be clear on whether someone has hormonal problems with or without their period

I dont think I'd use menopausal until my periods had stopped. I use perimenopausal to describe the shit show that is perimenopause, not to signal that I'm still young 🧐

I agree with those who are saying this is because terminology has become more accurate and less vague. I didn't go through peri-menopause as I had a surgical menopause at a younger age - in this scenario it's useful for it to be recognised that menopause symptoms are not confined to women in their late 40s plus, it makes life easier for women who, for whatever reason, have an early menopause and are having symptoms. You don't feel quite so alone.

Nope, I'm 58 and in peri meno because I've not yet gone through menopause. I'm not using it to suggest I'm "still really young", obviously.

Any time you want to get me out of it and past into full menopause I'm ready for it!

I'm 56, and still in perimenopause. When I've gone a year without a period, I'll be in menopause. Not vain, just very very tired if it.

Wow, I'm going to start saying menopause instead of peri menopause despite having regular periods in my early 50s. What shall I do with all the extra time I wonder?? Take up a mysterious Mumsnet hobby?

I’m 41. I’d say I’m in perimenopause rather than menopause because medically, that’s correct. I still have regular periods (albeit much lighter and shorter than previous), but I have a whole host of other symptoms associated with perimenopause.

Not according to my GP, who diagnosed me as being in perimenopause at 41. Take it up with him!

I do get wjat you mean. I think it was common to call peri menopause just menopause in the past, hence why the mumsnet board for it is called Menopause.

My mums generation were menopausal but now its peri menopause, which is the correct term, but somehow comes across as wanting to be special.