AIBU: people calling it peri-menopause instead of menopause

[Joyful26]

ok firstly I know that technically you are in peri-menopause, then the menopause itself is literally the day your period stops altogether- then after that one moment in time you are post-menopausal.

But people always calling it peri-menopause is clearly to indicate that they are actually still really young and nowhere near the menopause itself yet.

I think that’s why it grates on me so much. Because on the one hand they’re championing the issues that affect women etc, but at the same time making it clear that they themselves are actually very young and youthful- yet not afraid to mention these issues.

for what it’s worth I can’t be bothered faux-impressing anyone and I just call it the menopause.

but every single one of my friends calls it peri-menopause or they’re simply’peri’. We’re all mid 40s.

just saw someone on LinkedIn purporting to do a Women’s rights post, someone in her 50s commented about the menopause, and the original poster replied but talked about peri-menopause.

AIBU or a people who call it peri-menopause just a bit vain? 😅

This is interesting.

I struggle to explain how much I bleed (other than that it's constantly) to my GP and asked AI if there was a Bristol stool chart kind of thing, there isn't.

If I don't use a pad I get a far better idea of the discharge (obviously I don't do this on purpose, only if I'm feeling really optimistic about the fact it might have stopped). If I do, it can look pretty minimal. But it's just being absorbed and I can't see it.

I think there's a gap in the medical market for some proper rating system, accompanied by some regulated pads that are standard so you can clearly tell the GP what's going on.

Why is it only in the last few years though? Were womens bodies in the olden days designed differently? Anyway im not WRONG as you say, its an opinion that the word 'peri' is annoying as per this OP.

”annoying” you say? That’ll be the peri 😘

Oh god that sounds like it's not fun! My sodding perimenopause has had its really horrible moments over the past 6 years and I fear there's now worse to come! (I'm only 45!)

Bugger. It's great fun being a woman 😭😳🥺

Hmm.

Divided on this.

If I'm getting this right, menopause is not official UNTIL a year of no periods.
Thus before that it's peri?

If that's true, then, by that definition, anything after that is post menopause^.

So really it's only peri and post menopause.
No such thing as just menopause itself then?
How's that right? It can't be.

Anyway, I suspect that a lot of women use it to hint they're still young and have no clue about what are the technical definitions are anyway.

It is indeed a way of holding onto youth.
Course it is.

I don't blame them, nobody wants to get older. That's what it's about aot of the time, though.
And 'peri' us irritating as fuck.

Yabu

Language evolves and society evolves. Menopause was hardly ever mentioned aloud 30 years ago, and it's brilliant that this has changed. Perimenopause is a lengthy time like puberty and it deserves its own word distinct from the instant of menopause. It is distinct because it's not just about periods stopping, there's all sorts of changes to body and brain chemistry that aren't fully understood in science and what is know isn't well-communicated to the general public. It's a good thing that younger women who aren't particularly close to the day of menopause have sufficient awareness of their health and their body's changes to recognise the first effects of perimenopause and there's nothing wrong at all with people using the language as you describe.

Nope, I'm fairly sure I started perimenopause after my youngest daughter was born and I was aged 39. Definitely not too young.

I agree- it's NOT actually the menopause if your periods havent stopped is it? and the treatment and hormonal balance required for peri is completely different to actual menopause.

I cant imagine getting angry about people calling a medical issue by its correct name and I suspect this is your own hang up with ageing OP if this is bothering you to this extent.

I suggest you reflect on that rather than getting agitated about a word being used correctly 🙄

Peri Peri Chicken...... lol I think that peri and menopause have differences. What a crap thing to have to go through. Im currently 43 and not there and so not looking forward to it.

Of all the issues, this just is not one. Odd focus, OP!

Sorry, I meant to reply to the poster you quoted 😆😏

I don't believe anyone is suggesting that women were different in the 'olden days' but women's health problems were certainly dismissed more back then. It's sad actually to see women on here also being dismissive. I don't have any particularly difficult symptoms of peri menopause so I'm not on HRT but I absolutely believe that other women have genuine struggles during this time and it's a good thing that they are no longer routinely dismissed by the medical establishment.

I have friends who have found HRT really helpful but they wouldn't have been able to access it if peri menopause wasn't recognised as an issue.

This sort of thing happens when there's there's an imbalance in one direction which is redressed, it usually goes the other way before evening out. Once upon a time the menopause or "the change" was a bit of a taboo subject or one that was the subject of mockery by some men, and one that was largely ignored in the medical community. Many of women's health issues haven't had the research or medical application that most men's ones have, and due to the way our modern Western world is most women are working hard full time in their 50s when menopause comes along, so the effects are felt more arguably.

Yes it's talked of alot these days, younger women are educated more about what may come as just like menstruation, it hits some women differently. Some women have periods of debilitating symptoms and having the menopause be more widely understood societally, helps.

My mum incidentally also gripes about the menopause being more discussed in the open and says she just got on with it and had no help etc etc, but that'd a race to the bottom mentality. Improving the lot of people in general each generation that comes along is to the benefit of society.

Nonsense. Average age for menopause is around 50. Peri can last 10 or so years. I'll let you do that basic maths.

Why even use the words "the" or "just" then? save even more time by simply stating "menopause bad" - there you go, I've just saved you 12 words right there!- you could do all sorts of activities in the time it takes to type 12 words.

You're welcome!

Don’t be daft. People don’t say peri to make themselves sound younger They say it because it’s correct. I say it as I am in peri ie still having periods but not regularly as I used to. It’s also important to use it if a medical professional asks about it.

I struggle to explain how much I bleed (other than that it's constantly) to my GP and asked AI if there was a Bristol stool chart kind of thing, there isn't.

There are menstrual bleeding scales, and even quick rules of thumb (I thnk it was emptying a mooncup more frequently than once every 2 hours is extreme). Look here.

What OP said, I find weird. I also feel annoyed when someone declares that menopause is "shit", describing lots of overwhelming symptoms as though they are universal (didn't happen to me, stop assuming things about my life). or says women carry the emotional labour like that's universal (when it's a choice, I don't much care how "conditioned" you are, get over it, you are an adult now with choices).

For some, (peri)menopause is shit, for many it isn't. Some have a shit time hitting puberty. Some are fine. Some have a shit time with bowel movements, others not so much. Some find school years very shit, others not. Some find parenting a new baby utterly shit, others not. People having a shit time usually deserve support, whatever the context.

Of course it's not. When you say you're in perimenopause you're acknowledging that you're getting older and heading towards menopause. This really is the weirdest take in the use of the word I think I've ever seen!

Nope

I'm 40 and in peri, my mother was 37 and my nan 39. It happens.

I absolutely agree. I my day it was just the menopause. All this peri nonsense really annoys me. X

I don't have an issue with someone using whichever term, with a slight preference for peri as it is maximally informative.

I'm interested though - perimenopausal as used colloquially is the same as the old "menopausal" meaning "all the symptoms leading up to and maybe just after the periods stop".

Are there a different set of symptoms and needs that come in that we can now describe as "menopausal" - ie the things that might affect us negatively day to day and are important to address AFTER the menopause has happened? The only one I can think of is lacking bone density and needing to lift weights. What else is there?

Post menopausal bleeding as a diagnosis is years old

I call it peri-menopause in a semi-joking way because I'm still in my 30s and am used to having any health issues minimised, so basically do it to myself now despite being impacted by some obvious menopause symptoms.

I also get confused between autism symptoms and peri-menopause symptoms, eg. overheating, rage, irritation at partner's breathing...

I think it’s great that we are more aware of peri symptoms and are discussing it more now , but the way it’s handled by some on SM make it sound so terrifying, they make it sound like you hit peri go through hell and back then boom your life is over.
i used to follow a couple of drs then I stopped , it was making me so anxious looking out for every symptoms.