AIBU: people calling it peri-menopause instead of menopause

[Joyful26]

ok firstly I know that technically you are in peri-menopause, then the menopause itself is literally the day your period stops altogether- then after that one moment in time you are post-menopausal.

But people always calling it peri-menopause is clearly to indicate that they are actually still really young and nowhere near the menopause itself yet.

I think that’s why it grates on me so much. Because on the one hand they’re championing the issues that affect women etc, but at the same time making it clear that they themselves are actually very young and youthful- yet not afraid to mention these issues.

for what it’s worth I can’t be bothered faux-impressing anyone and I just call it the menopause.

but every single one of my friends calls it peri-menopause or they’re simply’peri’. We’re all mid 40s.

just saw someone on LinkedIn purporting to do a Women’s rights post, someone in her 50s commented about the menopause, and the original poster replied but talked about peri-menopause.

AIBU or a people who call it peri-menopause just a bit vain? 😅

Yes but that's wrong? Why do you think it's vanity to use the correct term and timesaving to use the wrong one? Very odd

Calling it "vanity" and the use of "they" in her original post is why I don't trust the OP is a woman.

Ive been through the menopause years ago and was helped with HRT. Never heard peri- menopause until recently.
What I really dont get is the Ads for sanitary wear and showing what looks like blood etc. We nearly all have or in my case had , periods and buy expensive stuff for it but I dont need to be told about when you get a gush etc. Is these ads just to educate men I wonder.

Clearly using the correct medical terminology is important, why would anyone state they’re menopausal when they’re not? It’s nonsensical and doesn’t ’save much time’. Also could lead to talking at cross purposes if you say that to a doctor as they will interpret it correctly, instead of your incorrect version. But, having said that, the shortening of it to ‘peri’ irritates me intensely. Precisely because it isn’t descriptive enough. Peri is merely a prefix, yet I see it being used in ways such as “I’m peri”, “when I entered peri”, “my peri symptoms” etc and the pedant in me gets annoyed as it doesn’t make sense and could technically be referring to a number of things. Just use the correct term!!

I agree with you! It’s a load of fucking tosh and an excuse for lots of bad behaviour. I’m almost 57, not out of the woods yet with periods. I don’t label myself anything.

You’ve just sent my peri-menopausal rage flying by implying the label is about vanity! 😡🤣

Sorry OP, you’re off the mark there. In no way is this thing about vanity. In fact, for me, recognising and accepting that perimenopause had indeed kicked in was about acknowledging the fact that I was ageing and no longer as young as I was, and the window for childbearing (I don’t have any) was definitely closing where I would now need to accept that I will never have them. I’m ok with that, but it’s definitely a form of sadness too that comes with perimenopause.

In fact, I’m so young in my late 40s that I appear to be nearing the end of it - I’m skipping months of periods with very long cycles in between (talking 60+ days frequently for the past year) and apparently menopause occurs within a couple of years once this starts to happen.

So it’s not vanity OP - in fact it’s the opposite because it’s the realisation we’re getting older - and it’s an accurate medical label for what’s happening to us, which for many can be very debilitating. Some women experience it worse than others - it varies.

It seems we now use the term perimenopause for what used to be called the menopause.

At the same time, it is true that a lot of people don't think carefully about the words they are using.

💯

To be fair, there’s a lot of “used to” when it comes to women’s health and poor practices/recognition, and it’s good to see the back of those things 🙂

😂 bless you op.

Eh? You appear to believe one of those people who attribute motive to otter people's actions but it actually says a lot more about how your mind works than about anything going on in reality.

(I managed someone like this. It's tiresome).

I used to call it the menopause because I didn't know what the word meant.

Now I'm peri-menopausal I've actually read a bit about it and understand what the words mean, and so I use the correct words. Simple.

Absolutely fuck all to do with wanting to sound younger, what an odd way of thinking!

What does this mean??

WarriorN · Today 04:23:
And in the words of an nhs menopause consultant I saw, women in their 40s think they can drink but they can’t.

I know what you mean. It's tedious.

Nope. That doesn’t make any sense at all!

Pro-menopausal gave me a chuckle 🤣

Ah yes totally reasonable. I too am busy and short of time. Thankyou OP for giving me the amazing time saving idea of ommitting a four letter word before a 9 letter word. I'll be so productive now.

It's just the correct word OP, it is nothing to get wound up about.

People wrongly used the word menopause for years when they were actually talking about perimenopause.

Now we know better. So we use the correct word.

It annoys me too OP. When my mother's generation were going through the process they just said menopause and we all understood it was a reference to the entire process, not like the one day 12 months after your last period.

I'm 43. Growing up, I'd only heard of something called, the 'Menopause ' and this was when your periods stopped. I asked my mum and she said this was around 50 (for her).

Aged 38, I saw a photo of me from the side and noticed hair loss. I was also having night sweats. Doctor said it was too early for Perimenopause (first time I'd heard the word). I went back at 41. After a blood test, I was put on HRT. It helps a lot (thank you, amazing gp).

I hope things are different for future generations of kids and gps in terms of education and awareness. Menopause was something that 'only' happened in your 50s in my mind. Reading around the subject blew my mind as to how long Perimenopause can last. Women are just more aware now of the symptoms of this phase of hormonal upheaval - which is absolutely a genuine stage that can start earlier than I thought possible. It's useful to have the vocabulary to discuss it.

Same. I'm late 30's and not there yet, but a lot of the women in their late 40s/50s who I work with are open with their younger female colleagues about it. Their symptoms, the struggles they went through to get HRT etc. It's good to know what I'm in for 😆

How much time, do you think you have saved overall?And what did you do instead with that time?

I don't think your mother's generation and what they knew and understood should be the benchmark of how we approach menopause, really?

I don’t care which people call it.
Except for if I am talking about a symptom and say menopause instead of perimenopause and they feel the need to educate me. Yes I do know the difference but when I’ve just spent 5 minutes trying to claw through the cotton wool in my brain to remember wtf I was supposed to be doing I might say the word I spent all of my life calling it rather than the correct word I learnt in my 40’s.

Also there are definitely some people who think peri means not quite there yet as in not as bad and that gives me the rage. “Oh you’re only peri menopausal, it’s not the proper menopause yet” 😡

In a 24 hour society, there’s no time for extra letters 😄

For clarity, there is precisely nothing about being peri that makes me feel “youthful”.
A sudden need for lube didn’t exactly make me feel like a perky 20 year old! Plus. Random weight that packs on around your middle, weird rage and tearfulness, chin hair that appears over night and is immediately about an inch long, memory that just…leaves the building? Add to that the fact that my periods are absolutely nothing like they were when I was, in fact, youthful. They are totally random, painful and long. This has been going on for years and I’m not yet 50 so, yes, I’m peri and very much looking forward to the actual menopause bit.
Which ever NHS consultant said that about drinking though is completely wrong. My tolerance for alcohol is unchanged, nor do I suffer from hot sweats. We are all different.