AIBU to complain about Heathrow special assistance for non-visible disabilities?

[cloudsky567]

Last week I travelled from Heathrow on a long haul flight. I booked special assistance through BA because I have non-visible disabilities. I am ND (confirmed diagnosis I only received a few years ago, not self diagnosed) and as a result I get overwhelmed with anxiety in crowded places and have a hearing impairment which I use a hearing aid for. For context, I travel a couple of times a year on short flights within Europe and have never booked assistance through an airline as I always thought it was only available to people who have wheelchair or mobility needs. It only recently came to my attention that I could potentially request assistance to make the airport experience easier as I usually just suck it up, I sometimes book fast track security and try to accept it’s part of the travel experience but I do struggle. I hate air travel and sometimes even opt for the Eurostar.

This however was my first time flying long haul to US and I didn’t know what to expect in terms of security as I’ve never flown from Heathrow so I decided to book assistance on this occasion.

When I presented myself to the assistance desk, I was initially ignored for quite a while and staff at the desk dealt with people who arrived after me even though I was politely waiting first. Eventually a member of the staff at the desk grumpily acknowledged me and asked where was my boarding pass, I tried to show it to her on my phone but she aggressively replied with ‘I can’t do anything without your boarding pass so you’ll need to get that’ and I asked her where I was supposed to get it from to which she then dismissively waved her arm towards the large check in queue to my left where a bunch of people were waiting and said ‘you’ll have to get it from there’. I was a bit confused as I only had hand luggage so I didn’t want to queue up for ages and couldn’t queue jump in front of everyone else. I hadn't realised I was supposed to print off the pass and ended up finding a self service kiosk rather than having this simply explained to me.

When I returned after getting my pass a different member of staff dealt with me and asked if I needed a wheelchair and I said no. Tbf she was more supportive and gave me a sunflower lanyard and then booked for someone to take me down to security and told me to wait there.

Things then got worse. Whilst I was waiting a different member of staff then approached me to ask if I needed a wheelchair and when I said no I didn’t she asked why I was there. I explained again that I have non-visible disabilities and I'd booked assistance and was waiting for it. She looked at me incredulously and said ‘well if you don’t need a wheelchair you don’t need someone to go down with you to security surely- its just over there’. I tried to explain that I struggle with crowds and queues and said that it had clearly stated that they support non visible disabilities and the sunflower lanyard scheme so what was the problem.

When I had checked in online at home I’d had a message saying that I may need to have my documents checked before going through security so I asked about this and she started laughing and asked if I had a valid ESTA and then when I confirmed I did she then burst out laughing and asked me ‘Oh dear is this your first time travelling?’ in a really patronising tone. I said to her that no it’s not but I haven’t flown long haul and she doubled up pissing herself laughing. The other colleague who had booked the assistance for me could see I was getting a bit annoyed and upset and came over and defended me in fairness to this staff member who said to her ‘oh she doesn’t need someone to go down with her, what’s wrong with her’ and the colleague pushed back and said I had non visible disability but by that point I was so uncomfortable that I just asked them to cancel the assistance entirely and walked off and said I’d manage. I found the whole thing incredibly humiliating and demeaning and felt I was being laughed at just because I wasn’t in a wheelchair.

I was upset after the interaction and wondering whether I'm being sensitive or whether I should complain. I do get that there are people who ‘swing the lead’ and pretend to need assistance or wheelchairs when they don’t to skip lines etc, but Im not one of them and do think people with non-visible disabilities should be treated with dignity and not made to justify themselves or feel as though they're somehow faking it. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with being ND and I was often mocked and dismissed when I was younger for things I now realise were as a result of that.

AIBU to wonder if you would complain about this, or would you put it down to a bad experience and move on?

What assistance did you expect?
I am not trying to be rude.

Sounds like a communication issue.
Did you actually let them know you have hearing issues and are ND?
My daughter has a sunflower lanyard.
You can get cards to attach to them saying what your disability is.
If you had one that said (for example) "I have hearing difficulties and I am autistic" they might have had more idea how to assist you.

Unfortunately I experienced similar at LHR. However Luton were absolutely amazing!!!!

What would you have liked them to do?

Move on. You could have written to BA in the time it's taken to write to AIBU.

Many people without a diagnosis struggle with crowds and queues.

Out of curiosity how far did you expect them to assist you?

• through check-in
• through security
• through customs

Genuine question since if it's all three then that seems like a lot of time out for a staff member. Tbf, I have no idea how far wheelchair assistance will take you.

Passenger assistance is for anyone who needs it and that includes all kinds of non visible disabilities such as visual impairment (being blind), etc etc as well as people with mobility difficulties.

there are several levels or types of passenger assistance and once you’ve been through the system a few times you generally get the hang of it and understand the codes you need to give them to make sure you get what you need.

most passenger assistance desks do want you to check in with the airline first.

I use a wheelchair and I travel quite a lot. Passenger assistance, like most customer services varies from polite and helpful to rude and unpleasant. My wheelchair has been lost on multiple occasions but never permanently although I have had several cups of coffee while they searched for it (poor bloke was very stressed).

like all systems it is supposed to work and it does right up until it doesn’t

you can complain but it won’t change anything.

my personal best is when I was going through security and they put my crutches through and then asked me to walk through. Like, how? I pointed out my crutches were in the x ray machine and they grudgingly opened the wheelchair gate.

seriously, allow lots of time, take food and drink with you and just be polite but insistent to the staff.

i get asked most times if zi could “just” walk down the steps.

Really???? She expects to be treated with dignity and respect whilst using a service that she is 100% entitled to use.

I guess you're one of those people who doesn't believe in hidden disabilities?

To the OP - yes, definitely complain. The way the member of staff treated you was wrong and that needs to be flagged to their supervisor - that fact that the other staff member intervened backs that up.

OP, I am so sorry. I also have a hearing disability and found Heathrow absolutely overwhelming on a recent trip. I was lucky to have someone traveling with me but had wondered about booking assistance.

Your experience sounds awful, do you feel up to complaining? If they weren't sure how to help you, they could have asked you what you needed, or explained politely what was going to happen. There was no need to belittle you and laugh at you, that's appalling behaviour from anyone let alone someone whose job is to support people with disabilities.

i now know my codes so I just say to them at assistance.

but yes wheelchair assistance will take you all the way through if you need it. Some airports are less wheelchair accessible than others.

most I go through on my own these days but sometimes assistance want me to follow a convoy of wheelchairs through their route and then wait by the gate,

there’s usually at least two or three assistance lounges that the assistance people can take you through to in convoys.

I’m no expert but I expect @cloudsky567 would have liked to be seen in a timely manner not ignored, spoken to politely, asked what she needed to make the process easier, assistance through security and shown where the gate was / early boarding ? As a bonus maybe some friendly conversation!

That is horrendous. It's one thing to offer poor assistance, it's quite another to laugh at and belittle you. Please complain.

I imagine OP would have appreciated some clear guidance on the airport process, perhaps an understanding of how they could potentially help, and perhaps support in avoiding queues and finding quiet spaces, for those faux-concerned on here asking what exactly you wanted to happen.

Perhaps if those asking that had a better understanding of disabilities, they would also would understand self advocacy can itself be very difficult.

It is very hit and miss with support OP (I have ND child). Sometimes it's great, sometimes non existent.

The issue is that they are set up with wheelchairs and buggies for those who cannot physically get themselves to the gate, they extend the service non physical disabilities but aren’t really aimed at those who are capable of intercontinental travel alone. There’s information on their website including walk throughs to help you prepare in advance. What actual assistance did you expect?

25 years ago I worked for the company that ran the passenger assistance at heathrow, and it was all wheelchair service. I'd have liked to think its moved on since then but maybe it hasn't?! I fear the lanyard was all you were ever going to get - ie. to signal to others you may need more time and patience.

I think you expected them to intuit what you needed? I have professional and caring experience of autism but I don't think I could intuit what someone ND would need in terms of assistance at the airport without being told.

They should have asked respectfully, laughing was unnecessary.

Edited to take out something i said that sounded bitchy.

YANBU. LHR are terrible for hidden disabilities. Luton and Stansted are much more helpful in our experience.

Passenger assistance is not just about getting to the gate, there are also ambilifts for those who cannot walk up or down stairs (like myself) and for those who cannot walk at all there are aisle wheelchairs to transfer within the plane.

i have done intercontinental travel on my own multiple times.

That’s appalling.

Yes you should
complain.

I’ve seen several people online saying that they intend to get sunflower lanyards to fast-track themselves through airports, unfortunately. Again, I’m not making any assumptions about the OP. The inevitable result of this will be reduced or sceptical assistance for those who actually need it.

That was poor service for you. However, not using a wheelchair is probably why, i.e. the reason for needing assistance was not immediately evident. You deserved better. I'm not sure I would be complaining though. Be prepared next time, have all your documents ready and a lanyard and a note of your needs. I would use a wheelchair next time TBH, even though you don't need one physically, it is much handier for staff to move you through safely, ironically.

You and your wheelchair will be whizzed through fast track security, passport control, and brought right down to the gate, bypassing all the crowds and stuff that causes you anxiety and stress. The wheelchair is the symbol to other passengers to get out of the way!, That won't happen if someone is walking with you. Just the practicalities of it.

My DH uses assistance and although he can walk, he takes a wheelchair as he is not able for the long distances in airports these days following two joint replacements and arthritis. If I accompany him, I get fast tracked also. The wheelchair is the key I think. Might not be fair or absolutely needed, but it works.

We should all expect that.

What assistance did OP expect?

Really awful disablist comments on here, people should be FUCKING ASHAMED of themselves

OP, of course you should complain. I’m so sorry this happened to you

I have several hidden disabilities.

We should all expect to be treated with dignity and respect.

But what did OP expect from assistance?

Sounds awful, of course you should complain.

I cannot even imagine the woman ''doubled up, pissing herself laughing''.

@cloudsky567 you aren't responding to any questions so we don't know what you actually was hoping for.
The reason I asked if you actually informed them what your disabilities are they could have been more helpful - for example as you have a hearing issue do you use BSL?
They could have then made sure the staff members who can use BSL were available to help.
I agree they didn't seem very polite or helpful but they also aren't mind readers to what assistance you actually needed.

Gatwick are pretty good. Sunflower lanyard certainly doesn't get you fast tracked but it means that people are more patient with you and giving you time to hear/ process what you need to do. That might mean having someone calm with you giving you clear and non shouty instructions or showing you how to get to the gate without having to go through the sensory nightmare of duty free. Airports are difficult for me as a NT and my DD with ASD finds them very difficult but currently has me to help.

Whoever said this is a communication issue - well, yes it is. That's rather the point of many invisible disabilities. If Heathrow needs you to say in advance exactly the assistance you need then they should ask when you book. Being treated politely and not laughed at should be given for anyone though, particularly a paying customer. You shouldn't have to book that.