AIBU to complain about Heathrow special assistance for non-visible disabilities?

[cloudsky567]

Last week I travelled from Heathrow on a long haul flight. I booked special assistance through BA because I have non-visible disabilities. I am ND (confirmed diagnosis I only received a few years ago, not self diagnosed) and as a result I get overwhelmed with anxiety in crowded places and have a hearing impairment which I use a hearing aid for. For context, I travel a couple of times a year on short flights within Europe and have never booked assistance through an airline as I always thought it was only available to people who have wheelchair or mobility needs. It only recently came to my attention that I could potentially request assistance to make the airport experience easier as I usually just suck it up, I sometimes book fast track security and try to accept it’s part of the travel experience but I do struggle. I hate air travel and sometimes even opt for the Eurostar.

This however was my first time flying long haul to US and I didn’t know what to expect in terms of security as I’ve never flown from Heathrow so I decided to book assistance on this occasion.

When I presented myself to the assistance desk, I was initially ignored for quite a while and staff at the desk dealt with people who arrived after me even though I was politely waiting first. Eventually a member of the staff at the desk grumpily acknowledged me and asked where was my boarding pass, I tried to show it to her on my phone but she aggressively replied with ‘I can’t do anything without your boarding pass so you’ll need to get that’ and I asked her where I was supposed to get it from to which she then dismissively waved her arm towards the large check in queue to my left where a bunch of people were waiting and said ‘you’ll have to get it from there’. I was a bit confused as I only had hand luggage so I didn’t want to queue up for ages and couldn’t queue jump in front of everyone else. I hadn't realised I was supposed to print off the pass and ended up finding a self service kiosk rather than having this simply explained to me.

When I returned after getting my pass a different member of staff dealt with me and asked if I needed a wheelchair and I said no. Tbf she was more supportive and gave me a sunflower lanyard and then booked for someone to take me down to security and told me to wait there.

Things then got worse. Whilst I was waiting a different member of staff then approached me to ask if I needed a wheelchair and when I said no I didn’t she asked why I was there. I explained again that I have non-visible disabilities and I'd booked assistance and was waiting for it. She looked at me incredulously and said ‘well if you don’t need a wheelchair you don’t need someone to go down with you to security surely- its just over there’. I tried to explain that I struggle with crowds and queues and said that it had clearly stated that they support non visible disabilities and the sunflower lanyard scheme so what was the problem.

When I had checked in online at home I’d had a message saying that I may need to have my documents checked before going through security so I asked about this and she started laughing and asked if I had a valid ESTA and then when I confirmed I did she then burst out laughing and asked me ‘Oh dear is this your first time travelling?’ in a really patronising tone. I said to her that no it’s not but I haven’t flown long haul and she doubled up pissing herself laughing. The other colleague who had booked the assistance for me could see I was getting a bit annoyed and upset and came over and defended me in fairness to this staff member who said to her ‘oh she doesn’t need someone to go down with her, what’s wrong with her’ and the colleague pushed back and said I had non visible disability but by that point I was so uncomfortable that I just asked them to cancel the assistance entirely and walked off and said I’d manage. I found the whole thing incredibly humiliating and demeaning and felt I was being laughed at just because I wasn’t in a wheelchair.

I was upset after the interaction and wondering whether I'm being sensitive or whether I should complain. I do get that there are people who ‘swing the lead’ and pretend to need assistance or wheelchairs when they don’t to skip lines etc, but Im not one of them and do think people with non-visible disabilities should be treated with dignity and not made to justify themselves or feel as though they're somehow faking it. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with being ND and I was often mocked and dismissed when I was younger for things I now realise were as a result of that.

AIBU to wonder if you would complain about this, or would you put it down to a bad experience and move on?

That’s awful. Selfish bastards.

This year, we found that travel assistance in the UK only let you have the lanyards if you’ve booked special assistance with the airlines.

Now that DC is over 18 years old, I wonder how well he will be treated.

Birmingham, Stansted, Dublin and Rome are excellent. Berlin was the worst, really awful- I wouldn’t bother.

How did you cope before if this is your first time booking assistance?

Not at all about the thread really, but having lost too many scissors and then panicked about buying them. Also good for teen DC and sleepovers where scissors go never to return.

Precut as many supplies as you can.

For any dressings that have no paper backing but dont need applied near the site - I clean an a4 polypocket with an alcohol wipe then cut and place the dressing on it.
Then store in another polypocket.

Dont know if this is helpful for your situation.

How rude and presumptuous of you. I have never queue jumped before, ever. Infact under normal circumstances I am usually the last to board the plane where possible and let others go before me. If I was truly after a queue jump I’d have requested wheelchair assistance for myself and be done with it - no questions would have been asked and I would have been whisked through and straight on the plane through security and before anyone else. Instead I was honest about not needing one to allow others who actually need one to have one. I only managed my whole life as I didn’t realise I had a condition and I didn’t know assistance was available to people like myself. So get stuffed @Calenia

May I ask whether you obtained assistance on arrival in USA? US airports are crazy, which is why I try to fly via Dublin especially if travelling alone.

@TheAnnoyingSatsuma no I didn’t. I was going to request it as was dreading arrival at JFK but due to the way I was treated at LHR I didn’t dare ask. I simply joined the back of the passport control queue as that’s what felt comfortable to me. As it was a member of staff let me go through to a shorter line along with me and a few other people - I didn’t ask, she just let me through.

That’s good. And have you returned yet? Be prepared, it can be brutal.

So what actual help did you need for your condition and disability that you needed it for?

Yes I returned on the weekend and yes security lines were brutal on the return flight. As is the jet lag I’m still dealing with

But an actual service for what?

I struggle with crowds, noise & queues too, makes me very anxious - I'm sure I'm not alone in that.
On the flip side, a close friend works in a busy airport & says they're absolutely beyond overwhelmed nowadays with travellers wanting 'assistance'. It's simply no longer feasible to be able to give everyone what they want.
She also said it's amazing how people somehow get more 'confident' mid air & positively jog off the plane at the other end.
I'm sorry you've had a bad experience but you can see why - too many people taking the mick.

The service is passenger assistance and it is for people who need assistance in some way in the airport.

many airports have long distances to walk to gates and so on, so a common reason for requesting assistance is that someone cannot walk that far.

other passengers may be blind, Deaf, unable to walk at all, or have a range of needs.

that’s the service.

(I’m a bit confused that you are confused. Even the trains have passenger assistance these days and many buses are wheelchair accessible although often the driver needs to let down a ramp or similar).

@Cleo65 I do get that unfortunately some people take the piss and use these assistance channels when they don’t need them to get special privileges. Hence why I said in my OP that I understand some people no doubt are abusing the service now. My point was that I’ve never tried to abuse a service I don’t actually need- I only started travelling later in life and have only flown from smaller airports on short flights which I manage in my own way. I tend to book fast track security at Bristol where possible which helps to a point and make sure I hang back and board last at the gate. The only reason I booked assistance at LHR on this occasion was because I had recently heard that assistance is available to those with disabilities such as mine and as it’s a big airport I thought I was really going to struggle. If the assistance staff had asked me what I need and told me security lines weren’t too long and questioned whether I still needed someone to accompany me through it I’d have said no problem I think I can manage in that case. The gate itself was well organised and not crowded with lots of people trying to get on their plane as is the norm. Yes my flight was also full but I booked and paid for the seats I wanted in advance in a part of the plane which was quietest near the back because this helped me to manage.

I like many others are fully aware of what the service is, and I accept that maybe I am the only one, but I still have no idea what actual service the OP was asking for

So no, I would not technically call myself confused about what the service is

The more you explain the more it sounds like everything is fine
you still haven’t explained exactly what you wanted
If they had said yeah, the queue is really long then would you have asked for someone to escort you so you could skip the queue? That doesn’t make sense none of this makes sense.

all you have told us is that you are ND.

At T5 you can virtually see the security queue! You can if it’s long!

Boarding last is a recipe for the staff taking your carry on bag off you. Plus disturbing everyone else who is already settled. I’d never ever choose the back either - near the loos! No thanks. You have some very strange ideas.

The best advice is always arrive early. Do bag drop and book a lounge. Or go business where you get a lounge. Try and travel with someone. Look at the airport map and know where everything is. Don’t travel in school holidays and don’t fly at busy times.

If you use a wheelchair and are boarding last (they usually do it first or last) then they cannot take your carry on off you as if you book passenger assistance you are entitled to a bag in the plane (meds and anything else you may need in flight - particular foods etc, stoma bag equipment etc) and a disability appliance (this is usually a crutch or stick or walker).

in addition you will usually be seated at either the very front or very back of the plane (excluding exit row seats) as the cabin crew want to be able to keep an eye on you, plus they want all the assistance passengers together for doing embarkation. If you were silly enough to pay extra to choose a seat (I don’t any more) it’ll be reassigned at either check in or the passenger assistance desk.

It’s not reasonable to advise people with disabilities not to fly at busy times, or to take people with them. We can’t all afford or want to take a paid companion on holiday.

lounges are often inaccessible for people with disabilities, and if you are using assistance they usually want you to stay in their waiting areas so they know where you are and can take everyone for the (eg) Malaga plane down at the same time.

@Octavia64 None of that applied to the op. She could have taken my advice because she didn’t get assistance . A bit tongue in cheek about being a friend but many do! She could easily book a seat, and does. It’s just removing the hassle as far as possible for the op. You aren’t her.

I can remember being asked by a fellow passenger why |I had booked special assistance. On being told that I had arthritis and therefore could not walk far or stand for long he replied "My wife has arthritis but she doesn't like to make a fuss." He then got chapter and verse from me (in my teacher voice) on the Equality Act and how if people did not exercise their right to assistance these facilities would not exist. He was probably sorry he opened his mouth.

When you travel solo you do sometimes have to be assertive to the point of bluntness. People will comply just to get rid of you.

It sounds like the OP wanted a member of staff to walk with her to help with her anxiety. I don’t know if that’s really feasible but if the service is available then she has every right to ask for it.

Wheelchair assistance will take you right onto the plane including a special transport from the gate. It's very comprehensive. This also works for those who can stand some if the time for example if there is a Heart condition.
An autistic person who struggles with crowds and noise could potentially need assistance right through as with any disability it's taken on trust the level of need .

I would complain, they need to learn , they shouldn’t offer a service if they can’t actually give it.
as a disabled person I have learned that most ableist people only recognise disability if it comes with a wheelchair or very obvious learning disability/ very visible autistic spectrum type traits such as high distress or loud stimming.