Last week I travelled from Heathrow on a long haul flight. I booked special assistance through BA because I have non-visible disabilities. I am ND (confirmed diagnosis I only received a few years ago, not self diagnosed) and as a result I get overwhelmed with anxiety in crowded places and have a hearing impairment which I use a hearing aid for. For context, I travel a couple of times a year on short flights within Europe and have never booked assistance through an airline as I always thought it was only available to people who have wheelchair or mobility needs. It only recently came to my attention that I could potentially request assistance to make the airport experience easier as I usually just suck it up, I sometimes book fast track security and try to accept it’s part of the travel experience but I do struggle. I hate air travel and sometimes even opt for the Eurostar.
This however was my first time flying long haul to US and I didn’t know what to expect in terms of security as I’ve never flown from Heathrow so I decided to book assistance on this occasion.
When I presented myself to the assistance desk, I was initially ignored for quite a while and staff at the desk dealt with people who arrived after me even though I was politely waiting first. Eventually a member of the staff at the desk grumpily acknowledged me and asked where was my boarding pass, I tried to show it to her on my phone but she aggressively replied with ‘I can’t do anything without your boarding pass so you’ll need to get that’ and I asked her where I was supposed to get it from to which she then dismissively waved her arm towards the large check in queue to my left where a bunch of people were waiting and said ‘you’ll have to get it from there’. I was a bit confused as I only had hand luggage so I didn’t want to queue up for ages and couldn’t queue jump in front of everyone else. I hadn't realised I was supposed to print off the pass and ended up finding a self service kiosk rather than having this simply explained to me.
When I returned after getting my pass a different member of staff dealt with me and asked if I needed a wheelchair and I said no. Tbf she was more supportive and gave me a sunflower lanyard and then booked for someone to take me down to security and told me to wait there.
Things then got worse. Whilst I was waiting a different member of staff then approached me to ask if I needed a wheelchair and when I said no I didn’t she asked why I was there. I explained again that I have non-visible disabilities and I'd booked assistance and was waiting for it. She looked at me incredulously and said ‘well if you don’t need a wheelchair you don’t need someone to go down with you to security surely- its just over there’. I tried to explain that I struggle with crowds and queues and said that it had clearly stated that they support non visible disabilities and the sunflower lanyard scheme so what was the problem.
When I had checked in online at home I’d had a message saying that I may need to have my documents checked before going through security so I asked about this and she started laughing and asked if I had a valid ESTA and then when I confirmed I did she then burst out laughing and asked me ‘Oh dear is this your first time travelling?’ in a really patronising tone. I said to her that no it’s not but I haven’t flown long haul and she doubled up pissing herself laughing. The other colleague who had booked the assistance for me could see I was getting a bit annoyed and upset and came over and defended me in fairness to this staff member who said to her ‘oh she doesn’t need someone to go down with her, what’s wrong with her’ and the colleague pushed back and said I had non visible disability but by that point I was so uncomfortable that I just asked them to cancel the assistance entirely and walked off and said I’d manage. I found the whole thing incredibly humiliating and demeaning and felt I was being laughed at just because I wasn’t in a wheelchair.
I was upset after the interaction and wondering whether I'm being sensitive or whether I should complain. I do get that there are people who ‘swing the lead’ and pretend to need assistance or wheelchairs when they don’t to skip lines etc, but Im not one of them and do think people with non-visible disabilities should be treated with dignity and not made to justify themselves or feel as though they're somehow faking it. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with being ND and I was often mocked and dismissed when I was younger for things I now realise were as a result of that.
AIBU to wonder if you would complain about this, or would you put it down to a bad experience and move on?