AIBU to complain about Heathrow special assistance for non-visible disabilities?

[cloudsky567]

Last week I travelled from Heathrow on a long haul flight. I booked special assistance through BA because I have non-visible disabilities. I am ND (confirmed diagnosis I only received a few years ago, not self diagnosed) and as a result I get overwhelmed with anxiety in crowded places and have a hearing impairment which I use a hearing aid for. For context, I travel a couple of times a year on short flights within Europe and have never booked assistance through an airline as I always thought it was only available to people who have wheelchair or mobility needs. It only recently came to my attention that I could potentially request assistance to make the airport experience easier as I usually just suck it up, I sometimes book fast track security and try to accept it’s part of the travel experience but I do struggle. I hate air travel and sometimes even opt for the Eurostar.

This however was my first time flying long haul to US and I didn’t know what to expect in terms of security as I’ve never flown from Heathrow so I decided to book assistance on this occasion.

When I presented myself to the assistance desk, I was initially ignored for quite a while and staff at the desk dealt with people who arrived after me even though I was politely waiting first. Eventually a member of the staff at the desk grumpily acknowledged me and asked where was my boarding pass, I tried to show it to her on my phone but she aggressively replied with ‘I can’t do anything without your boarding pass so you’ll need to get that’ and I asked her where I was supposed to get it from to which she then dismissively waved her arm towards the large check in queue to my left where a bunch of people were waiting and said ‘you’ll have to get it from there’. I was a bit confused as I only had hand luggage so I didn’t want to queue up for ages and couldn’t queue jump in front of everyone else. I hadn't realised I was supposed to print off the pass and ended up finding a self service kiosk rather than having this simply explained to me.

When I returned after getting my pass a different member of staff dealt with me and asked if I needed a wheelchair and I said no. Tbf she was more supportive and gave me a sunflower lanyard and then booked for someone to take me down to security and told me to wait there.

Things then got worse. Whilst I was waiting a different member of staff then approached me to ask if I needed a wheelchair and when I said no I didn’t she asked why I was there. I explained again that I have non-visible disabilities and I'd booked assistance and was waiting for it. She looked at me incredulously and said ‘well if you don’t need a wheelchair you don’t need someone to go down with you to security surely- its just over there’. I tried to explain that I struggle with crowds and queues and said that it had clearly stated that they support non visible disabilities and the sunflower lanyard scheme so what was the problem.

When I had checked in online at home I’d had a message saying that I may need to have my documents checked before going through security so I asked about this and she started laughing and asked if I had a valid ESTA and then when I confirmed I did she then burst out laughing and asked me ‘Oh dear is this your first time travelling?’ in a really patronising tone. I said to her that no it’s not but I haven’t flown long haul and she doubled up pissing herself laughing. The other colleague who had booked the assistance for me could see I was getting a bit annoyed and upset and came over and defended me in fairness to this staff member who said to her ‘oh she doesn’t need someone to go down with her, what’s wrong with her’ and the colleague pushed back and said I had non visible disability but by that point I was so uncomfortable that I just asked them to cancel the assistance entirely and walked off and said I’d manage. I found the whole thing incredibly humiliating and demeaning and felt I was being laughed at just because I wasn’t in a wheelchair.

I was upset after the interaction and wondering whether I'm being sensitive or whether I should complain. I do get that there are people who ‘swing the lead’ and pretend to need assistance or wheelchairs when they don’t to skip lines etc, but Im not one of them and do think people with non-visible disabilities should be treated with dignity and not made to justify themselves or feel as though they're somehow faking it. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with being ND and I was often mocked and dismissed when I was younger for things I now realise were as a result of that.

AIBU to wonder if you would complain about this, or would you put it down to a bad experience and move on?

@Holidaymodeon 💯 you are totally right there, as evidenced by the comments on this thread even which imply I’m simply asking for special treatment or to skip lines, as if somehow wanting to advocate for yourself means you want to take the piss. And like I say unless you ‘look’ disabled in an obvious way like being loud or heavy stimming then you get dismissed.

@ZeStreoving Very presumptuous of you when you don’t know my circumstances in full. So just because I can ‘handle’ a holiday to the US this therefore means I don’t qualify for assistance and just want to skip lines 🙄 there’s reasons I’ve never travelled long haul until now, not that I need to justify it to you.

As I said in a previous post, the CCTV cameras will provide the evidence you need when you send in your complaint. There’s always 3 versions of events, your version, their version and the truth. Sometimes all those versions match, sometimes not.
I find it extremely unlikely that someone working in special assistance would behave in the way you describe knowing that they’re being captured on CCTV and observed by other staff members. If they did, clearly they’re in the wrong job.

You've travelled before, why did you need help getting your boarding pass etc?

@Soontobe60 Right well since a lot of replies are struggling to figure out what assistance I might have wanted I can think of a whole raft of support that might have been useful to me since there’s been a few replies asking what assistance I ‘actually’ needed - let me think, for example being able to use the dedicated assistance lane at security if I wish to or if it’s exceptionally busy (not to queue jump but because that makes it easier for me to cope), being able to use the dedicated area of the airport after security and before boarding for special assistance or a quiet area which isn’t available to everyone simply to use unless you’ve booked assistance, being escorted through a loud and busy airport at the other end on arrival that you may not be familiar with. Being given more time etc. I could probably think of more assistance that might have helped to be honest. But no doubt people will jump on that and say I don’t need it as I’ve travelled before and I’m just looking for privileged treatment I don’t need 😂

@RVectensian when I travel short haul I’ve always downloaded my boarding pass and had it as a mobile pass on my phone. This time I didn’t get a mobile boarding pass and didn’t realise I needed to print it off as like I’ve said I haven’t flown long haul. It’s not hard

If you find it ‘extremely unlikely’ then clearly you have no knowledge or understanding of disability discrimination.
it’s a thing, look it up

Being given more time to do what?

I mean it’s not rocket science. To get through the airport and complete the various stages of the journey at a pace that is manageable for me. The fact that I can physically do something doesn't mean that doing it quickly, under pressure or without support is equally manageable. I don't really think I need to justify the details of my disability to answer the question.

This does not surprise me, I fly regularly into/from Heathrow and other European airports. I find the Heathrow staff to be frequently dismissive if not downright rude especially to those who actually require assistance. I have made complaints and only received an acknowledgement and nothing else.

Where in the US were you going to as a matter of interest?

it’s just that for us despite having family in the US we have not travelled there as our son with ASD / complex needs would not cope with for example New York. Our family live in Washington and have done so for over a decade ( before that California / Canada etc) Crowded airport conditions exist out in the World so for us with DS it means no Venice, no New York. His sister lives in London and has down so for 2 years and that is a no. Last time we took DS there my ex forces/ marines bother had to stand between his and the river to stop him jumping in as he was dysregulated, earlier a yeoman had to take us out of the White Tower down some steps as he was freaking out - he went into shut down and the cafe had to open up a room for his use. We tried to take him for a quiet river ride when we went into operation ‘suicide’ jump. K can never take him to London to see his sister and be never saw her in Manchester where she went to university.

What I am trying to to say is that we have to use special assistance and at the other side we pay for taxi transfer to specific approved locations eg hotel with no activities around pool / small group sight seeing in peaceful places.

For me people using special assistance for ASD but then not adapting their entire trip makes no sense. It’s as old as people who go to Alton Towers and then want fast track for queues! The whole place is a no for ASD surely£

Excuse typoes - ftrtinto get son ready for Pa pick up

I was going to request [assistance] as was dreading arrival at JFK but due to the way I was treated at LHR I didn’t dare ask

That seems strange. Admittedly I dont know how this stuff works because I never do request assistance, but do you not request assistance at both airports before you even set out for your flight, and therefore before you had this bad experience?

Surely you don't wait until you arrive and then have the added stress of trying to find someone who can handle your request.

I've taken people with wheelchair needs through and each airport was already notified and primed to help before we set foot in the place. Perhaps that's the obvious nature of the wheelchair, I dunno...

@cloudsky567 You get time if you arrive early and plan! Why can you not go through the procedures at your own pace? That’s not really needing assistance. It’s about queue jumping and the fact you didn’t look at layout and procedures before you went. I suggest you don’t travel to India and many USA airports are way more disorganised than T5. Denver is currently a nightmare. NY airports are never good!

We do fast track because we usually fly business but it’s often quite busy. I don’t find T5 noisy. The reverse because it’s lofty and the sound goes up. Passenger info is great and getting to gates is easy. I actually find it quite orderly and well signed. Many abroad are not. You need to make time for yourself and familiarize yourself with procedures and layout. You cannot get away from other travellers when flying.

And how do you do things outside the airport? Any tourist attraction, anything really has queues and crowds? How do you manage then?

@MeetMeOnTheCorner again, you are extremely presumptuous. What makes you think I don’t get early to the airport? I always do. The issue was that I had booked assistance through the airline and had presented myself to the desk as you’re supposed to and had already figured out where I needed to go beforehand. That’s what I was told to do.
Yes I agree T5 was pleasantly well organised and I didn’t find it too bad. You are sounding ridiculous - of course I don’t expect not to encounter ‘other travellers’ when flying and suggesting I was being disorganised and wanted assistance just to jump queues is insulting and rude to those who use these services in good faith. If it’s only available to people in a wheelchair or mobility issues then that’s fine and otherwise they shouldn’t offer them.

@Makebelieveanotherlife another ill informed and stupid comment I see. It’s quite simple - I don’t go to certain tourist attractions where I know I will struggle. Or I go early or at off peak times when it opens if it’s something I really want to see. I don’t expect preferential treatment or request accessibility services. You might ask why travel if I struggle with airports but then are you suggesting I don’t travel to places I enjoy just because I have a condition? Airports aren’t avoidable if you want to see somewhere you enjoy and for those who have suggested I should simply fly at quieter or off peak times - I do travel off peak but I’m afraid there are no quiet times anymore for flying or travel. At least not at my local airport, it’s rammed 365 days of the year regardless of the season or the time.

It sounds like you’ve done well to get yourself through Heathrow and JFK there and back without assistance and so although I’m sure assistance would have made the experience more pleasant, you know you are able to do it. I think assistance is probably more for those who absolutely can’t make it through the airport (departures and/or arrivals) without it. There wouldn’t be the staff for everyone who would just prefer to have it but actually can manage. That doesn’t excuse the lady doubling over laughing which sounds insane. Like a pp has said, there will be a camera (they are everywhere in airports) so absolutely complain because they will have the evidence of her bending over and laughing while you are talking. She clearly is not in the right job.

Often IME, if you have booked assistance you can’t get your boarding pass on line as you will be given a Boarding Groupe 1, & special seating allocation, to avoid mobility issues & then board first. with travelers with small children. ( & after the Elite classes)You do not print at the airport at one of the luggage/check in machines for the same reason. You do not stand in a long snaking queue. You go directly to the special assistance desk.
If you could wait in long queues you wouldnt probably have asked first assistance

@cloudsky567 absolutely complain about this staff member's appalling behaviour and attitude. It costs nothing to be kind.

Ok, but generally international check in opens 3 hours before the flight. 4 hours with some airlines. That's quite a lot if you there at the beginning of it. Once you're at the front of each queue e.g. security or passport check you can take as long as you need to get your shit together... I understand there might be self imposed pressure to have everything ready and go quickly but you don't have to unless you arrive at the airport close to departure.

Well this is it. I assumed I could get my boarding pass if required or the desk would help. Staff who first dealt with me just dismissively waved her arm and gestured vaguely to a queue on my left. She could have said - could you print it off from the machine first. She was unhelpful and rude

So you didn't bother doing any research beforehand?

This.

Just wondered what type of assistance you needed?

@ZeStreoving no. I checked in online and it showed that my boarding pass was on there but it wasn’t a mobile one and couldn’t be downloaded. It didn’t really make it clear you needed to print it off at the airport either. It was pretty confusing. Again, not difficult to work that out. Clearly it is for you though.