AIBU for taking my 11 month old to an evening meal?

[MarLiz2026]

Last night I went for dinner with my husband, 11 month old and a few friends. One of our friends lives abroad and doesn’t come back to our hometown often, and he invited us out with a couple other friends to catch up and enjoy a nice evening together.

The meal was booked for 7pm and for different reasons we didn’t have anybody who could look after our baby. It has been several months since we went out for dinner with our daughter, as now she is 11 months old she is much more routined and harder to keep entertained whilst out! But we didn’t want to miss seeing our friend and thought one night isn’t going to harm anybody, we still need to have a life too!

We were seated in a smaller seating area, with a high chair and plenty of room for a pram. The restaurant was quite small and quaint but they were absolutely lovely. Just after we sat down, a couple were sat down near us. It was just our table of 5 + baby and those 2 sat in this area.

We brought toys for our daughter and hoped that once it was around bedtime we could get her to sleep in the pram. She hardly cried, and she just occasionally made some loud noises (like 11 month olds do). We did not let her run or crawl around and she was always either in her high chair or in our arms or the pram. We spent a good portion of the night trying to get her to sleep (with great difficulty) and had to do a bit of pram rocking and breastfeeding and taking her out and putting her back etc and naturally at times she got a little fussy but she was generally really good and didn’t make much noise.

When trying to get her to sleep I rocked her in the pram and me and my husband were putting a great effort into keeping her calm and trying to get her to sleep. The entire time, the couple kept looking at me (the man turning around every few minutes) and the woman staring at me the whole time. They were quite obviously talking about us and the baby and were seemed really annoyed that my daughter was there. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to make an already awkward situation more awkward, especially as we were having a nice evening with our friends. At one point I overheard them complaining to the staff and it made me feel so uncomfortable and to be honest really upset. When they eventually left I did share with my table and they all said I should have said something, but it has left me feeling really sad and like I have done something wrong by bringing her out?

This is the first time in a long time we have gone out with her in the evening and to be honest it has really put me off taking her out again. I would have taken her for a walk in the pram rather than rocking it in the area but we were actually seated upstairs and had to carry the pram up and down the stairs.

AIBU for taking my daughter? I don’t think I would normally care but as it’s been such a long time since we have done anything with her in the evening it has really knocked my confidence.

Nobody would bat an eyelid about babies in restaurants where I live .

Take no notice.

To be fair, OP, I think most of us who go out for dinner in the evening don't expect to see a baby in a restaurant. We want it to be an adult-only environment.

Where I’m from it’s very normal, I find it far weirder that people would have a problem with it.

But if it is ‘Adult Only’ wouldn’t you book at somewhere that wasn’t child friendly? As I was provided with a high chair and a place for a pram

I think I’d have put baby in the pram and go for a walk until she was asleep. It was probably the fussing of you picking her up, putting her down, rocking the pram etc that was a distraction, more so than any noise she was making.

When you’re out for a nice meal you shouldn’t notice what others are doing, but it sounds like your table were quite physically active.

Why didn’t you invite them to your house ?Put baby to bed and then you could have enjoyed your evening .It sounds tiresome for you all this rocking prams ,etc trying to keep baby quiet .

I think it depends on the kind of restaurant it is. If it’s a fancy, more expensive one, then I can understand people being annoyed at a baby being there. If it was casual dining then don’t even give it a second of thought, babies and young children belong there just as much as anyone else.

I found that 12 months was the limit with each of my DC (I have 3) before eating at a restaurant was more trouble than it was worth. However, when we travel to Italy to see family, they absolutely love children at restaurants, and I make the most of eating out. They have a lot more tolerance for noise and fussing, which I understand would upset diners in the UK.

I did explain why I didn’t do this in the original post? We were seated upstairs meaning I would’ve had to carry the pram downstairs with somebody helping me and then back upstairs with somebody helping me.

The restaurant were completely aware a baby was coming (hence the high chair and pram space provided) and only put us upstairs as they allow dogs downstairs so didn’t want there to be a baby with dogs.

I went out for dinner the other night and there was a table of people next to us with a pram and baby. At various times they were bouncing the baby on their knees, cuddling him, standing and rocking him, and jiggling the pram to try to get him to sleep. Honestly, I just enjoyed seeing an adorable baby being loved and seeing various family members take part in his care. I smiled when only the person who appeared to be the grandmother was able to get him to sleep. It was lovely, I didn’t have any issue with the baby being there at all.

I think maybe the couple were probably just having a bit of a shit evening (nothing to do with you). I’ve never thought it odd bringing children to restaurants and having spent most of my life between Paris and London, it’s so common I’ve never even thought about it. I wouldn’t take them to a Michelin restaurant (selfishly because I would want to enjoy my evening rather than have to keep them entertained!). Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. I was out this evening and there was a couple who looked bloody miserable and kept complaining, but it was definitely down to them and not the restaurant or the patrons!

It's an absolute none issue. First poster nailed it - take no notice and don't let them spoil your evening. It sounds like you were having a nice time, and did your best to keep baby settled. There are babies and toddlers in restaurants in the evenings all over where I am. Nobody bats an eyelid!
If it was a very fancy place, or if the baby is kicking off and it's disturbing everyone then that's different - but it doesn't sound like she was being unreasonably noisy.

Most old couples bloody love babies especially old ladies! I can't comprehend someone actually complaining about a baby. How ridiculous.

Don't waste any more headspace on them. Intolerant gits.

Varies by type of establishment, if I'm at high end restaurant, probably special occasion then I wouldn't be best pleased with a young child there.

Local 'family'restaurant, no problem

But, it does sound like there was a lot of activity/noise which would be distracting if your close by.

Because as I mentioned in the post we were invited by our friend who isn’t home much, he also invited 2 of our other friends and we don’t have the facility to have 5 of us comfortably in our house eating a meal?

I wouldn't expect DC out that late, what time did the meal finish?

It sounds like you were pretty disruptive but you're entitled to take your child.

Of course you shouldn't have said anything to them, they said nothing to you, you'd look mad.

Tbh, I find it irritating when babies are noisy. I'm currently on holiday and earlier on, there was a baby banging cutlery on the table. Her parents didn't make any attempt to stop her. I find that the noise barely affects DH, but I'm a bit noise sensitive.

If I saw a couple trying, as you were, I'd feel sympathetic and wouldn't show annoyance.

Any group that don’t have an IPad blaring is fine by me.

Unless your other friends invited your baby or said, yes, please bring her along, YABU. Bringing a small child /vocal baby inevitably changes the dynamic of a meal where adults are catching up with each other.

Also a very soft YABU for not taking your baby out to settle her when she was being vocal.

It's a difficult balancing act. I say YABU but I'm not unsympathetic x

What seemed disruptive?

My baby was invited :) and I have explained (twice) why I didn’t take her out.

I think you were fine OP and it was the other table with issues.

Literally fine! Do not let it put you off otherwise you’ll never go out!

I dunno. I’d have been irritated if I was one of your party. I’ve gone for dinner with friends and they’ve brought their baby. The entire dynamic changes - are they ok, do you have what you need, are they fretful, are you able to feed etc etc etc. The baby and parents become the entire focus. All fine when expected but annoying when it’s an adults evening out and then Baby Appears.

That said, wouldn’t bother me if the baby was at an adjacent table - not my monkeys etc.

EFT

Did your friend mind?
I’d be so pissed off if I arranged to see someone and they spent the whole evening up and down like a jack in a box clearly distracted.
And I am a parent!

It was the first time in ages we have taken her out and probably the last! It is definitely less enjoyable as they get older and more routined! It would’ve been our preference for someone to babysit but sadly there was a last minute change and we then had to bring her or cancel!

Absolutely fine. I have no problem with babies in restaurants.