AIBU for taking my 11 month old to an evening meal?

[MarLiz2026]

Last night I went for dinner with my husband, 11 month old and a few friends. One of our friends lives abroad and doesn’t come back to our hometown often, and he invited us out with a couple other friends to catch up and enjoy a nice evening together.

The meal was booked for 7pm and for different reasons we didn’t have anybody who could look after our baby. It has been several months since we went out for dinner with our daughter, as now she is 11 months old she is much more routined and harder to keep entertained whilst out! But we didn’t want to miss seeing our friend and thought one night isn’t going to harm anybody, we still need to have a life too!

We were seated in a smaller seating area, with a high chair and plenty of room for a pram. The restaurant was quite small and quaint but they were absolutely lovely. Just after we sat down, a couple were sat down near us. It was just our table of 5 + baby and those 2 sat in this area.

We brought toys for our daughter and hoped that once it was around bedtime we could get her to sleep in the pram. She hardly cried, and she just occasionally made some loud noises (like 11 month olds do). We did not let her run or crawl around and she was always either in her high chair or in our arms or the pram. We spent a good portion of the night trying to get her to sleep (with great difficulty) and had to do a bit of pram rocking and breastfeeding and taking her out and putting her back etc and naturally at times she got a little fussy but she was generally really good and didn’t make much noise.

When trying to get her to sleep I rocked her in the pram and me and my husband were putting a great effort into keeping her calm and trying to get her to sleep. The entire time, the couple kept looking at me (the man turning around every few minutes) and the woman staring at me the whole time. They were quite obviously talking about us and the baby and were seemed really annoyed that my daughter was there. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to make an already awkward situation more awkward, especially as we were having a nice evening with our friends. At one point I overheard them complaining to the staff and it made me feel so uncomfortable and to be honest really upset. When they eventually left I did share with my table and they all said I should have said something, but it has left me feeling really sad and like I have done something wrong by bringing her out?

This is the first time in a long time we have gone out with her in the evening and to be honest it has really put me off taking her out again. I would have taken her for a walk in the pram rather than rocking it in the area but we were actually seated upstairs and had to carry the pram up and down the stairs.

AIBU for taking my daughter? I don’t think I would normally care but as it’s been such a long time since we have done anything with her in the evening it has really knocked my confidence.

Show me where I said I didn’t want her with dogs please? I couldn’t care less if she was near dogs.

The restaurant said they usually let dogs downstairs and would prefer if children were upstairs :)

sorry just saw the edit - thanks for taking it back :)

I love babies but not when I go out for a romantic meal in a restaurant in n the evening. I think day time take baby evenings get a sitter for her. I used to get a sitter for my DC when going out in the evening. You don't know OP maybe the couple paid for a sitter for their DC only to go out and he disrupted by your baby being lifted in and out of pram and making loud noises.

We were seated upstairs meaning I would’ve had to carry the pram downstairs with somebody helping me and then back upstairs with somebody helping me.

So not "child friendly" then.
You seem to be contradicting yourself.

Then go to an adult only environment

You read my apology, but not really did you.

You were probably unreasonable for taking her out for a meal at bedtime.

The other couple can see you and H constantly fidgeting trying to get your baby to sleep in their peripheral vision and they’ve just come out for a nice quiet meal. They wouldn’t choose to go eat in your baby’s bedroom now would they? But you brought your baby’s sleep time to where they are eating.

The meal should have taken place earlier where your baby could remain in the high chair for the duration of the meal not disturbing others.

The couple were about 70/80 so I doubt that! But yeah a babysitter would’ve been our first choice but it didn’t work out last night!

You should have arranged to have lunch with your friend, or only one of you go out in the evening, or get a trusted babysitter.

I have an 11 month old and wouldn’t dream of doing this - a baby needs to be in bed.

It might be a rarity but it’s not right for your child. Ask your DPs to babysit next time.

There aren't signs in the nicer restaurants here stating no babies after 7pm but the menus specifically state children's menu only available between 4 and 6pm. Early bird offers only between 4 and 6:30pm too, encourages families to go between those times.

It would be very frowned upon to have taken a baby to a restaurant at 7pm here. It does sound as though you were quite distracting with all the fussing and playing in a small place and quite rude not to have taken the baby outside. You managed to get the pram up and down to leave.

Why did they provide us with a high chair and a place for the pram if they’re not “child friendly?” They also knew a child was coming and could’ve easily said no if they’re not child friendly? The restaurant staff gave us a particular table as it had lots of room for a pram - it just happened to be upstairs. The downstairs was smaller than the part we were in.

Well it definitely didn’t have a specific time for a children’s menu so not sure where you’ve got that information from?

Yes, we took the pram up once and down once. If I had taken the pram up once, then down once, then back up once, and down again, would that not have been more distracting?!

For me it's very normal to bring babies out, I often did with no issues (also much later than 7pm), but from your description it sounds like you were up and down like a yo-yo! At that age I would have had the baby on my lap, possibly breastfeeding most of the time to keep them quiet. I would not have bothered with the faff you describe to try to get the baby to sleep, though you have said several times they are 'more routined' now so maybe you were being a bit rigid instead of just going with the flow. I would have just let the baby sleep when they were tired.
Now you're saying you won't go out for dinner again with the baby, why don't you just adapt a bit (if you want to) and obviously take the baby out for a walk if they cry.

It would have been highly irritating to be one of the three friends dining with you. Adults up and down, continual fussing with the baby…. Painful. One of us would have gone and the other stayed home if no sitter.

She’s survived the evening out! Dinner was 7pm her bedtime is 8pm and we were home by 9pm (with her asleep) so I don’t think it’s caused her much harm.

Would have loved to have asked DP’s but my mum is dead, my dad couldn’t, my husbands mum is unwell at the moment and his dad isn’t around! - Thanks!

If you take her out immediately when she starts making even a pip, I wouldn't care even in the best Michelin restaurant.

A sleeping baby is a non issue, it's a quiet place, babies can be quiet too.

She hardly cried, she just occasionally made some loud noises (like 11 month olds do)
make me think she was anything but quiet, and you didn't take her out straight way.

so YABU

They probably thought they had.

A nice restaurant in the evening.
Not the day time.
Not 'early bird'.
Not a pub with a soft play.

Read my post again. Did I say your restaurant had children's menus? No.

Taking the baby out would have been one distraction. Once. Instead of multiple noises and distractions. If upstairs was the only place for a pram, this is not a baby friendly place.

Older people are also more likely to have hearing aids and loud baby noises are a high pitched noises. Maybe that's why the male diner turned around every so often.

it’s not right for your child what are you on about 😂😂

a baby is absolutely fine in their pram too

Of course you child doesn't HAVE to be in their bed, don't be so ridiculous.
Babies are portable, that's the time to do things. It becomes a lot harder, but not impossible, when they get older.

Baby was on my lap a lot and in the high chair. I was happy for her to be awake but she started rubbing her eyes tired. She had a late nap before coming to the meal but was still tired so we tried to get her to sleep there. I did breastfeed her. She went in the pram because she seemed tired and then taken out when she seemed like she would be disruptive. I was not up and down like a yoyo and have said in the post she was pretty good!

Mentioned several times we didn’t take her out because we were seated upstairs as the restaurants preference - they allow dogs downstairs and prefer to keep babies / dogs apart. I have no issue with my baby being near dogs. The downstairs was also smaller than the area we were in. We had a nice area with an area for a pram, given to us by the restaurant!

Was the highchair and buggy between your table and theirs?
You shouldn’t have to stay at home but tables for two should be together where possible and babies in buggies should be on the ground floor to allow walks and time outside if needed. If I went out with dh and this was the setup AI would ask to move.

Baby was invited by my friend - nobody cared. My friend doesn’t come home often and wanted to see my baby. Again, not the issue I am talking about in my post

Nope! Buggy was next to our table to the left and a wall/ window then there was an empty table behind us and then their table. High chair was seated at our table so nothing to do with us was in their space.

So why mention timings on a children’s menu? This was just a normal menu with a children’s menu - no time. Also, as mentioned countless times, a high chair (for babies!) was provided so why would a not child friendly place have a high chair?

Some people are just like that. I once BF in a booth in a restaurant (it was that or let the baby scream) and a random customer was so repulsed by this that he decided to register his disgust by staring at me for ages. All he needed to do was look literally anywhere else in the room, eg at his food, the decor, his wife and I would have had no impact on him whatsoever but no it was more important to make me feel uncomfortable.

That said I don't think we ever took ours out for a 7pm meal at that age. They'd have been fractious and we'd have had to take them out early doors. Other people have easier babies.