AIBU for taking my 11 month old to an evening meal?

[MarLiz2026]

Last night I went for dinner with my husband, 11 month old and a few friends. One of our friends lives abroad and doesn’t come back to our hometown often, and he invited us out with a couple other friends to catch up and enjoy a nice evening together.

The meal was booked for 7pm and for different reasons we didn’t have anybody who could look after our baby. It has been several months since we went out for dinner with our daughter, as now she is 11 months old she is much more routined and harder to keep entertained whilst out! But we didn’t want to miss seeing our friend and thought one night isn’t going to harm anybody, we still need to have a life too!

We were seated in a smaller seating area, with a high chair and plenty of room for a pram. The restaurant was quite small and quaint but they were absolutely lovely. Just after we sat down, a couple were sat down near us. It was just our table of 5 + baby and those 2 sat in this area.

We brought toys for our daughter and hoped that once it was around bedtime we could get her to sleep in the pram. She hardly cried, and she just occasionally made some loud noises (like 11 month olds do). We did not let her run or crawl around and she was always either in her high chair or in our arms or the pram. We spent a good portion of the night trying to get her to sleep (with great difficulty) and had to do a bit of pram rocking and breastfeeding and taking her out and putting her back etc and naturally at times she got a little fussy but she was generally really good and didn’t make much noise.

When trying to get her to sleep I rocked her in the pram and me and my husband were putting a great effort into keeping her calm and trying to get her to sleep. The entire time, the couple kept looking at me (the man turning around every few minutes) and the woman staring at me the whole time. They were quite obviously talking about us and the baby and were seemed really annoyed that my daughter was there. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to make an already awkward situation more awkward, especially as we were having a nice evening with our friends. At one point I overheard them complaining to the staff and it made me feel so uncomfortable and to be honest really upset. When they eventually left I did share with my table and they all said I should have said something, but it has left me feeling really sad and like I have done something wrong by bringing her out?

This is the first time in a long time we have gone out with her in the evening and to be honest it has really put me off taking her out again. I would have taken her for a walk in the pram rather than rocking it in the area but we were actually seated upstairs and had to carry the pram up and down the stairs.

AIBU for taking my daughter? I don’t think I would normally care but as it’s been such a long time since we have done anything with her in the evening it has really knocked my confidence.

The restaurant welcomed children so you were entitled to take yours. The couple next to you booked upstairs because they wanted a quite, relaxed meal. No obvious rights or wrongs there. Personally I wouldn't have bobbed up and down, feeding and trying to distract a querulous baby - whoever was strong enough to manage the stairs would have put it in the pushchair (why a pram? Pushchairs are adjustable for a nearly 1-year old) and gone out for a wheel up and down until fast asleep. We would do this years ago and had some great meals out with little or no disruption. If I had to come off the fence, I'd say the other couple should have moved downstairs and left you all to enjoy your meal in a way that suited your party.

It depends on establishment. I was once caught out by a small hotel advertising family friendly policies, high chairs, play areas, cots etc and the like. What I wasnt aware of was that they allowed walk in bookings to the small hotel dining room and that night it was unbelievably cramped and noisy from adult conversation and the waiting staff clanking and slamming the swing doors from the kitchen as they came through the doors with their trays and trollies to serve the tables . Service was appallingly slow that evening.

. I couldn't get my daughter to settle , she was fractious because she had slept I. The car on the drive to the hotel and my husband and I had to take it in turns to walk around the grounds and we had an awful time. One other dining couple ( childless) and a walk in couple not staying at the hotel actually followed me around the gardens to complain directly to me that my daughter was ruining their evening even though she wasn't actually in the dining room for very long. I noted that chose not to complain to my husband though.

If it was advertised family friendly then presumably all diners know that there could be babies and children were there. Any child free couple who book table at a family friendly restaurant presumably risk families being there and were probably annoyed at their mistake if they really did expect a quiet calm and relaxing adults only atmosphere.

Just put it behind you and learn from experience. We had 15 years of self catering g holiday thereafter

I just use the word pram, I guess as we called it that when she was newborn we didn’t change when we changed the seat. It is a pushchair though not a pram.

Thanks for the comment, in hindsight we probably still should have taken her outside despite the stairs issue. A learning curve 😊

Not a problemIMO. But did you enjoy the evening yourself,with all tbe juggling and efforts to get her to sleep?As long as it was worth it,good luck to you.

Now the 'pram' position is cleared up I think you have worked things out so maybe close the post. Enjoy your next meal out.

I don’t know how to close the post? 😂 I don’t use this much so no idea how it all works

You can’t, I have no idea what the pp is talking about.

Apparently, you have to report your own post and then ask for it to be closed.

Its really annoying that you can't close your own post down.

I thought you weren't coming back ?

You can’t close a post because you don’t like the responses!

I think you need to find something else to do and get off this thread lol. Someone told me to close the post, I said I don’t know how to. You really need to learn how to read!

Further to my post above…

Your constant “you need to learn how to read” is just laughable, you need to learn how to read the many posts that have said, YABU! No one wants a fractious tired 11 month old spoiling their evening meal!

But LOL despite your post two weeks ago saying you’re not coming back, you will read this and possibly comment.

I can’t see the post above as it was deleted by Mumsnet so you must have been lovely and said something really nice!! ☺️

Yes, 2 weeks ago I said I wasn’t posting again because I kept getting continuous posts on this thread. Now they have died down so I have replied to a couple as I still get the notifications and see them all. I’m allowed to respond to posts on a thread that I wrote? Equally, you are allowed to post on it but I don’t know why you want to when you clearly just want to get reactions out of people and have nothing positive to contribute 😂

You can keep telling me I was being unreasonable - I have accepted that and I just don’t care anymore? People can move on from things like I have, and like you very much should ☺️ thanks and goodbye x

Going out for a meal is a treat now due to costs. I would have been quietly annoyed too that I was constantly being distracted by your performative parenting.

I don't think restaurants can afford to turn away clientele now, so an outright ban on children would be a rarity.

We took our daughter out to eat with us when she was around two, only at lunchtime though, we never took her in the evening (it's generally socially accepted that you don't) and never in company (unless it was a specific pre planned play date at a cafe with kids play area).

We have family meet ups for lunch every few months, and i've come to dread them somewhat because one of the couples bring their kids (the kids are now 4yo and 1yo). They're a lovely family, but it's just awkward when most of the family (for whom our kids are all teenagers/young adults) just want to relax, eat and enjoy a glass of wine. You feel obliged to help entertain them.