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AIBU?

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Half cringing. Half admiring. Turning up at wedding after being uninvited.

286 replies

SlothsRUs · Today 12:51

We were at a wedding yesterday and we’re still at the hotel.

Husband had been out with a friend a few weeks ago and she had told him that the groom’s brother had stepped down from being best man as his stepson had not been invited.

I was delighted at this as when same thing happened to us my husband wasn’t supportive

It then emerged that he had tried to stop his own son from going but child’s mother and rest of family stepped in.

Yesterday came along and there is groom’s brother, wife and stepson sitting at back of church in casual clothes.

They then stood at entrance to churchyard at which point mother of groom saw him and started crying Family and friends including my DH shook hands.

We check in to hotel and come down and nephew is being comforted by the ushers

Brother of groom, wife and stepchild had come to hotel as well, where they stayed in the entrance for four hours.

He claimed he just wanted to be on the periphery of his brother’s big day.

I was half cringing and half admiring. I wanted to curtsy for his sheer chutzpah.

No one is talking about anything else.

OP posts:
MotherofPufflings · Today 15:50

I feel like a family tree would help this all make sense. On the plus side, at least the op hasn't done the whole "the groom, let's call him Lee" thing

ExpressCheckout · Today 15:54

And there was me thinking that a marriage is a public event, and anyone can attend to witness it.

67789d · Today 15:54

FunkyFringe · Today 15:17

What does this sentence mean in your opening post?

"I was delighted at this as when same thing happened to us my husband wasn’t supportive"

OP and H were invited to a different wedding, but her child (H's step child) wasn't invited.

H didnt support OP's distress at this. She is glad to see another step father making a stand for his uninvited step child

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · Today 15:56

I know that AI is normally thought as being the devil incarnate on here but I think it would've really helped with this one.

I've read the OP twice and all I'm getting is a headache.

FluffyBoots · Today 15:57

SlothsRUs · Today 14:34

A photo was taken of us all from as balcony while we stood on a lawn.

The stepson was running around outside with a tennis ball occasionally looking over but essentially oblivious.

The cousins and ushers kind of formed a human shield around the actual nephew as we walked back inside and for the rest of the evening .

You appear to be loving it all OP. Am I right?

dontforgetofeedthecat · Today 15:58

I think it's absolutely pathetic for anyone to make somebody's wedding about themselves and try to ruin their day.

How embarrassing for them.

dontforgetofeedthecat · Today 16:00

FluffyBoots · Today 15:57

You appear to be loving it all OP. Am I right?

look at MN, some people LOVE drama and other people struggling.

VividPinkTraybake · Today 16:00

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · Today 13:04

It is horrendous behaviour, I don't understand why the vote is so close or the other posters are celebrating it.

The bride and groom should be able to invite whomever they want.

If they are dicks about who they invite then the only acceptable course of action is to stay away.

Because people on here celebrate drama and pettiness above all else...as long as it is not happening to them

MotherofPufflings · Today 16:00

FluffyBoots · Today 15:57

You appear to be loving it all OP. Am I right?

Tbf the fact that this is a trending thread shows that lots of others are loving the drama too.

FluffyBoots · Today 16:02

dontforgetofeedthecat · Today 16:00

look at MN, some people LOVE drama and other people struggling.

I said earlier that I was off, but peeped in for a quick look as to if it has all finished. It makes me feel quite sick.

Theroadt · Today 16:04

I am just confused who is who to be honest, sorry

Namechangewegovyjune26 · Today 16:05

SlothsRUs · Today 14:34

A photo was taken of us all from as balcony while we stood on a lawn.

The stepson was running around outside with a tennis ball occasionally looking over but essentially oblivious.

The cousins and ushers kind of formed a human shield around the actual nephew as we walked back inside and for the rest of the evening .

Why the human shield?

I think the groom is in the wrong here. If your brother is close enough to be a best man invite his whole family. He should have put his foot down and not gone along with the biological nephew not going.

FluffyBoots · Today 16:06

MotherofPufflings · Today 16:00

Tbf the fact that this is a trending thread shows that lots of others are loving the drama too.

You're quite right. I've just looked at the results though, and AIBU is leading. It's kind of difficult to figure what the AIBU actually relates to given the title, but let's just hope it's "AIBU not to keep my mouth shut".

It's disgusting.

Namechangewegovyjune26 · Today 16:06

FluffyBoots · Today 15:57

You appear to be loving it all OP. Am I right?

She’s explained why though - because her son was excluded from an event with her new partner /son’s stepdad and her partner didn’t stick up for her son?

Smokeywater · Today 16:10

Family must be a bit dramatic - you dont invite the stepson, brother not happy, so you DO invite the stepson. Or you don't invite the stepson, brother not happy, so you DO NOT invite the stepson even though he is a wee lad of ?9/10 and would probably have spent much of the wedding kicking a tennis ball around the grounds.
Groom is an idiot and brother a stroppy git so probably about equal.

67789d · Today 16:10

Theroadt · Today 16:04

I am just confused who is who to be honest, sorry

Jim and Doris married yesterday

Jim's brother Bob was going to be best man but declined the whole invite when he found out that step son, Ferdinando, wasn't invited. Bob's son, Rasputin, WAS invited.

Bob and Esmerelda (new wife) and Ferdinando rocked up at the church, sat at the back and then went and sat outside the reception venue.

Rasputin saw his dad there and started bawling

Pallisers · Today 16:11

Can you imagine the poor step child. "mum can I go over to Derek's house to play football?" "No you have to go to wedding you weren't invited to all day".

FluffyBoots · Today 16:11

Namechangewegovyjune26 · Today 16:06

She’s explained why though - because her son was excluded from an event with her new partner /son’s stepdad and her partner didn’t stick up for her son?

That somehow makes it somewhat worse. So she's virtiolic in criticising and indulging itn the misery of this latest family situation. Great.

Ilovelifeverymuch · Today 16:12

SlothsRUs · Today 13:05

Askandyforcompo

DH and his family agrees with you and my logical side does too but couldn’t help admire him.

Groom’s family feel he upset his own son who cried when he saw him at hotel.

At breakfast the consensus was that he could have come to church on own without wife and stepson.

What exactly are you admiring? I respect his decision to support his stepchild and turn down the invitation, everything else is absolute stupidity and shameless.

SweatySpider321 · Today 16:12

What a dick move. Very performative and unnecessary

I still laugh inside about the child free wedding l went to where the brides cousin just turned up anyway with her 3 children. It was a formal sit down wedding breakfast so no food or seats for them

Wheresthebeach · Today 16:18

Vile to try a ruin a wedding. No excuses.

fruitbrewhaha · Today 16:18

So why are you admiring him?

It just comes across as stupid people being touchy. I think you need better friends.

ReadingSoManyThreads · Today 16:24

Good on him. He stood by his principles and didn't do anything wrong as anyone can attend a church & any public ceremony.

Shame on the bride and groom for not including the stepson in the first place and creating this issue. What happened was of a result of their own doing.

BobbiBiscuits · Today 16:24

MotherofPufflings · Today 15:50

I feel like a family tree would help this all make sense. On the plus side, at least the op hasn't done the whole "the groom, let's call him Lee" thing

😂

BobbiBiscuits · Today 16:25

ReadingSoManyThreads · Today 16:24

Good on him. He stood by his principles and didn't do anything wrong as anyone can attend a church & any public ceremony.

Shame on the bride and groom for not including the stepson in the first place and creating this issue. What happened was of a result of their own doing.

No. What happened was fuckwits attended a wedding to which they weren't invited, and obviously actively not wanted there. What happened was their responsibility and only theirs.