Half cringing. Half admiring. Turning up at wedding after being uninvited.

[SlothsRUs]

We were at a wedding yesterday and we’re still at the hotel.

Husband had been out with a friend a few weeks ago and she had told him that the groom’s brother had stepped down from being best man as his stepson had not been invited.

I was delighted at this as when same thing happened to us my husband wasn’t supportive

It then emerged that he had tried to stop his own son from going but child’s mother and rest of family stepped in.

Yesterday came along and there is groom’s brother, wife and stepson sitting at back of church in casual clothes.

They then stood at entrance to churchyard at which point mother of groom saw him and started crying Family and friends including my DH shook hands.

We check in to hotel and come down and nephew is being comforted by the ushers

Brother of groom, wife and stepchild had come to hotel as well, where they stayed in the entrance for four hours.

He claimed he just wanted to be on the periphery of his brother’s big day.

I was half cringing and half admiring. I wanted to curtsy for his sheer chutzpah.

No one is talking about anything else.

It’s hard to argue with anything she said though…

for the safegaurding of that child the nephew should be kept away from the cruel bad mannered family. At least his dad had the sense to see that.

It is concerning how many respondents do not care about the child and blame the victim of the emotional abuse and bad manners. . What the ill mannered grooms family did was not only very rude and socially unnaceptable and harmed a child it was damaging to the families own sons and grandson.

Ops instinct that she was watching an inustice be addressed was spot on.

Adults I know who were smart kids in similar situations to crying nephew often took away that they were not safe. . They thought they could be rejected at any time by a family so cold and cruel they would reject their own child, what chance does grandchild have? If he accepts his step brother will he lose his grandparents?

Apparently in many minds the groom and his nasty family were allowedto emotionally abuse the nephew, refuse to have even the barest ruthless cvility, and descend into despicable showmanship with manners at all.. To be very clear the rude people here are the horrible couple getign married, and now everyone knows it.

What made the grroms parents so abolutely without any sense of grace or good manners ? Is it from extreme racism you are not mentioning. Or are they just so concerned vwitht their bloodlines imagined superirotiy that theyaare incapable of being civil. some part of youy mujst know that this is extremely unpleasant.

The brother obviously accepts both of his sons, and what horrrible people rthe grooms family are that they let the other sons know that they do not value his family.

It reflects well on the brother that he wanted to show up for his brother anyway. The way public events work is people cajnwlak inoff the streets and go to them.Wearing casual clothes showed theywer enot attempting tobe part of the wedding.

It is great that the rude mother of the groom showed their despciable colours and cruelty and made fuss so every person at the church can go forward knowing that this grooms family are untrustworthy people incapable of restrainign themselves from being abusive even during a wedding. Hopefully the bride will protect her chidlren from knowing these bad people. No manners,and no loyalty to ther sons and grandchildren. Over a despciable idea that their blood is superior.

Some of you are far too over invested. The sheer anger about a total strangers wedding and the opinions of other strangers on here really has riled some of you up to the point of extreme rudeness. Very weird.

for the safegaurding of that child the nephew should be kept away from the cruel bad mannered family. At least his dad had the sense to see that.

It is concerning how many respondents do not care about the child and blame the victim of the emotional abuse and bad manners. . What the ill mannered grooms family did was not only very rude and socially unnaceptable and harmed a child it was damaging to the families own sons and grandson.

Ops instinct that she was watching an inustice be addressed was spot on.

Adults I know who were smart kids in similar situations to crying nephew often took away that they were not safe. . They thought they could be rejected at any time by a family so cold and cruel they would reject their own child, what chance does grandchild have? If he accepts his step brother will he lose his grandparents?

Apparently in many minds the groom and his nasty family were allowedto refuse to have even the barest ruthless cvility. To be very clear the rude people here are the wedding party.., and now everyone knows it. A public event wedding it is not rude at all to show support. Perhaps the groom was caving to the conditional love of the mother and the brother knew it?
?
What made the family so abolutely without any sense of grace or good manners ? Is it from extreme racism you are not mentioning? Or are the grooms family just so concerned with their bloodlines imagined superiority that they are incapable of the effort of even pretending to have manners?

The brother obviously accepts both of his sons. It is sad the grooms family let the other son know that their love is conditional in arbitrary ways,

It reflects well on the brother that he wanted to show up for his brother anyway.

The way public events work is people can walk in off the streets and go to them.Wearing casual clothes showed they were not attempting to be part of the wedding. Frankly the groom isnt a nice person to reject a nephew - especially if it because of a belief his family blood is somehow superior.

It is great that the rude grooms people made a fuss so every person at the church can go forward knowing how rude they are.

Oh wise up! It was only the 9 year old child who was uninvited, the brother & his wife were invited. So my point still stands, and perhaps check your own comprehension skills you sanctimonious prick.

It’s not easy to decipher that wall of badly spelled text. But one part did leap out:

It is concerning how many respondents do not care about the child and blame the victim of the emotional abuse and bad manners. . What the ill mannered grooms family did was not only very rude and socially unnaceptable and harmed a child it was damaging to the families own sons and grandson.

It’s interesting that you’re so concerned about the stepson, but have no interest in how the brother’s actions could affect his actual son, his mother and others. Apparently that behaviour was justified.

A nine year-old’s interest in his stepfather’s brother’s wedding is likely to be minimal. If his mother and stepfather had played it down and said weddings are boring long days anyway, he would probably have forgotten about it. Instead, not only has he been used as a pawn, but also several other people have been upset. The groom’s brother was so adamant about making his little point that he put the feelings of his own son aside.

Wise up?! 😝😝

The brother and his wife had uninvited themselves. If their invitations still stood, why did they a) deliberately come in casual clothes, b) sit at the back and, most importantly, c) sit in the public area instead of joining the wedding party?

Again - you have a problem with comprehension.

Listen, just because we see the situation very differently, does not mean I have any problems with comprehension and to be honest, I'm getting a bit fucked off with you over that. I've got a brain injury and your repeated comments to people over their intelligence levels and comprehension is tiresome and offensive. I am an educated person, a former teacher and I had to re-learn how to read, write and speak after an accident, so perhaps think about peoples unknown struggles before calling them unintelligent and other such insults.

You're asking me questions that only the brother and his wife can answer, so not sure what point you're trying to make?

To me, I interpret it as the brother still wanting to witness his brother's marriage ceremony, so given the fall out that had happened, they chose to stay out of the way at the back to avoid any focus on them.

If I was the groom I would have not been a prat in the first place and invited brother's stepson.

Have a think about why you feel the need to do that.

Thought about it as per your request and I came the conclusion that I said you sound a bit thick because, well, you sounded a bit thick?

If you can’t see the brother’s hostile motives behind what he did then it’s incredibly naive. It’s not so much an opinion, more so a fact.

Exactly. Like using children in protests (ok, I suppose they're in physical danger too). But not ok to upset kids and grandmas at weddings. If you have a problem with the bride and groom, talk to them-on another day.

vile behaviour

You can be as fucked off with me as you like, @ReadingSoManyThreads. You’re a complete stranger, so your feelings towards me aren’t particularly important to me.

But if you’re going to get on your high horse about unknown struggles, make sure your own approach reflects this. Calling me a sanctimonious prick hardly seems very sensitive. What if I’m experiencing struggles you don’t know about?

Perhaps he felt embarrassed that they weren't invited and were causing a scene. He knew his dad had tried to prevent him going to the wedding but here he was in his usher's suit. Pretty unsettling for a young man whichever way you look at it.
.

Rude not to invite stepchild. The brother is close enough to be the best man and yet his stepson doesn’t get an invite? And we’re talking about an actual stepson, not “son of woman he has been dating for two months.”

Anyone can attend a church wedding, I don’t think it is particularly odd or badly behaved that they chose to do so. Showing up at the reception is the odd bit.

There are lots of reasons why the nephew may have been upset. He may have found it stressful, as a 12 year old, to be attending an event like that without either of his parents present. Yes he had grandparents, uncles and cousins but probably would have preferred a parent. He was obviously okay with it in the beginning when he chose to go, but seeing his Dad reminded him of what he was missing out on. Or maybe he felt a sense of guilt, knowing that his stepbrother hadn’t been invited and his Dad hadn’t wanted him to go, but he’d chosen to go anyway.

What a load of hyperbolic nonsense. The 9 year old stepson did not need to ever know he was not invited. His mother and stepfather actively went looking for drama and put him in this situation.

I have to say I admire their nerve! No doubt the family is ripped apart forever now though. I would have just quietly removed myself from their life for the sake of my mother who is stuck in the middle.

Aren't weddings the most wonderful of events. They bring out the worst in people.

You were being sanctimonious though. That was very clear from your comments. Yeah, I shouldn't have added the "prick" but I had left it too late to edit that out.

My intelligence, however, is unknown to you, so your comment was nothing more than a personal insult. The sanctimonious assumption that you’re in a position to judge my intelligence says rather more about your attitude than it does about my abilities.

Off course he would know the other boy was part of the wedding party . Sorry but no way any of my kids would participate in a wedding unless they were all invited .

I don’t see why you deciding I’m sanctimonious is somehow more acceptable than me deciding you’re struggling to comprehend this situation.

Bride and groom were absolute trash to not invite both nephews. That child is family now. Excluding him was gross.

They only have one nephew.

That’s my take on it too

Outrageous behaviour by all of them. Not inviting step son is bad. And when the father decided the whole family weren’t going that should have been respected too. Nobody should have overruled that by insisting the blood nephew comes. I’d expect my sister to completely cut me out if I went to her ex to get my own way when she’d said no to something involving her child. The father should have go no contact with the lot of them.

Equally, it is utterly ludicrous to turn up anyway. They have destroyed the wedding day and upset the children. So probably will be cut out themselves now.