Half cringing. Half admiring. Turning up at wedding after being uninvited.

[SlothsRUs]

We were at a wedding yesterday and we’re still at the hotel.

Husband had been out with a friend a few weeks ago and she had told him that the groom’s brother had stepped down from being best man as his stepson had not been invited.

I was delighted at this as when same thing happened to us my husband wasn’t supportive

It then emerged that he had tried to stop his own son from going but child’s mother and rest of family stepped in.

Yesterday came along and there is groom’s brother, wife and stepson sitting at back of church in casual clothes.

They then stood at entrance to churchyard at which point mother of groom saw him and started crying Family and friends including my DH shook hands.

We check in to hotel and come down and nephew is being comforted by the ushers

Brother of groom, wife and stepchild had come to hotel as well, where they stayed in the entrance for four hours.

He claimed he just wanted to be on the periphery of his brother’s big day.

I was half cringing and half admiring. I wanted to curtsy for his sheer chutzpah.

No one is talking about anything else.

Yes. The only bit I understand is that some adults deliberately got an innocent child involved in some sort of feud. A totally avoidable situation that caused the poor child to become distressed. That’s unforgivable.

Sounds awful.
The bride and groom chose not to invite step child to the wedding.
Grooms brother decided he'd step down as best man in protest, prioritising his step child above his brother.
Groom also decided that excluding step child was more important than having his brother ( who he had also chosen as his best man) at his wedding.
Grooms brother turned up anyway, with his wife and step child in tow and made it all about him.
Tbh, the adults in this scenario deserve the guests gossiping.
The children don't.
I'd be giving the bride, groom, brother and his wife a wide berth.
Nothing to admire about any of it.

Yes this may be the reason the stepson wasn't invited in the first place. Does he make the nephew's life miserable?

It doesn’t sound like it!

Maybe his father is a nasty piece of work (turning up and hanging around for hours isn't exactly normal behaviour for starters) and the kids knows there's more trouble to come for him by being in attendance with the wedding party.

How awful to deliberately want to cause upset at someone's wedding (and you for admiring that behaviour OP).

I’ve got absolutely no idea what you’ve just said

i have no admiration at all for the brother. We don’t know the background for all of this but if excluding the stepson caused hurt and the brother to step away from the wedding - fine. But showing up anyway, causing a scene and upsetting his own son - unforgivable and deranged.

But as the child’s parent surely it was up to his dad if he went or not? You describe it like the dad had no agency . The nephew is the child of brother and the wife, wife already had a child who wasn’t invited. I think when you have children you don’t do stuff that will embarrass them , you don’t involve them in your game playing you act as an adult

This! What a horrible thing to do.

Most weddings in hotels are in private rooms. Certainly at the one next to me this scenario would be impossible as are eating toasted sandwiches in the vestibule. It just wouldn’t happen.

If they couldn’t have invited the stepson who is now an extension of his stepfather, fuck em. I’m petty. Don’t give a stuff about it being ’your special day’ spaff. Give a bit of self absorbed and twatty right back, mirror their behaviour.

What an ugly family to treat a kid like that. Glad you admire the choices because it's pathetic and childish for adults to go on like that over a simple thing and a child at that

That sounds very unfair to the children. They didn't deserve to be pawns in adults' games.

Are you glad that the nephew was really upse? Or does that not matter?

Even I wouldn’t do that 🤣 talk about spoiling brothers big day.
Sounds like he got his own back but at what cost to Family relationships?