Neighbour asking me to take her to hospital appointments

[BecauseNothing]

A neighbour has asked me to drive her to, stay with her and bring her home from 2 upcoming hospital appointments. The first is in 4 weeks time and the second the week after. I have said I can’t because I’m working and she has asked if I can book the time off. I haven’t replied but this seems cheeky to me after I’d said no. AIBU? I need my annual leave for things with my own family. She has people who visit her who I presume are family and friends but apparently has no one to go with her. I work full time at home and have children so with everything that comes with that I’m busy.

Just tell her that you have already allocated all your annual leave.

There's no way I would be doing that. She needs to find someone else.

No, you won't be taking annual leave for her appointments. She'll have to find someone else. She's a pushy cheeky fucker.

Just be honest and say you have very little annual leave so need it to cover all the school holidays etc... so perhaps she has some family or friends that could take her?

She was entitled to ask you and you are entitled to say no.

Seems a strange request from a neighbour you’re not close to?! Just reply sorry you’re working and have already allocated annual leave. Perhaps suggest an Uber as they’re cheaper than taxis. I am close to a neighbour and we do each other favours because we are friends. She actually came with me to the hospital one time which was very kind of her. If you’re not close then it is strange and this may be only the beginning of many hospital appointments to come.

agreed. This sounds polite.

Do you WFH OP? There was almost an identical thread recently like this. No, you are not BU. My neighbours think I'm just sitting around the house all day, looking for something to do- because WFH isn't a real job you know! 🙄

Her options are
-public transport
-family/friend to drive
-taxi/uber
-hospital transport
-dial-a-ride. In our area this is free if you have a bus pass, but must be booked a week in advance
-Local volunteer scheme. My friend works for one and does this exact thing. Picks people up in her car and waits with them at the hospital/dentist etc

How far's the hospital? I'd tell her to walk or get a taxi.

You’re not being unreasonable not to take her but don’t be unkind about it. She wouldn’t be reaching out to you if she had someone to take her, it’s quite sad really.

Just send her a polite reply and maybe recommend she checks with the hospital if there is any community support that can help her (in my area there is).

I wouldn’t say we are close but she has been over for a cup of tea a few times when she’s wanted to discuss something going on locally. We do the usual thing of taking in post for her and other neighbours if they’re not here and they return the favour.

I would do it in an emergency but I would not be told what to do and how to do it at any other time, like - bring me, wait for me and then bring me home!- very presumptuous and very cheeky imv.

I'd use the wording or similar to that in @TwinklyAmberSloth post above.

I don’t think saying I find it cheeky for her to ask again after I’d said no, as being particularly unkind about her. I’m describing how I feel about the behaviour. I’d said no with a reason and she continued to ask. That’s cheeky behaviour when it’s just a neighbour in my opinion, but I haven’t said anything bad about her as a person.

I wouldnt. She might see it as a green light light to get you driving her to the shops, to visit her friends, dental appointments etc. If you give some people an inch they will take 20 miles

How peculiar when she has family and friends in a far closer relationship than with you!

Some people are just weird

She’s another person who sees WFH as not really working! You know you are just doom scrolling pretending to work ( sarcasm)

So point out your boss won’t allow you time off without taking leave and you have none left.

Family often don’t want to be inconvenienced.

Whats unkind about not being able to offer a lift because you are working
Op has been perfectly polite
Stop projecting

Are your neighbours a bit dim?
I have WFH for many years and none of my neighbours who might see me collecting the bins, walking to the shop, watering the hanging basket, answering the door have ever suggested that I am sitting around the house all day looking for something to do.

Just tell her you can't take time off work. What a cheek!

Ha, as she knows the dates so far in advance she should have no trouble getting a taxi... a normal taxi, not a neighbour take the piss taxi.

Is she an older person who doesn't want to 'bother' her own family by any chance?

A neighbour has asked me to drive her to, stay with her and bring her home from 2 upcoming hospital appointments. The first is in 4 weeks time and the second the week after. I have said I can’t because I’m working and she has asked if I can book the time off

Honestly, some people are insanely entitled/live in their own world.

Taxis are available.

I would say I’m sorry but I can’t take the time off work.

i wouldn’t feel obliged to help but I would think it is very sad and a little strange that she asks a near stranger.

reply kindly but firmly

My father's neighbour very kindly did this for him a few times- no family lived anywhere near (4+ hours away) and he wasn't allowed to be alone after the appointments. So i probably would if I could to pay it forward. But I would make it clear it was just these two and that's all I could do as I'd need my leave for my own things after that.

You aren't unreasonable to say no at all. Just sometimes it is nice to be the person who does help anyway, assuming it is a one off and they aren't abusing your kindness.

Or her own family don’t want to do it!