Neighbour asking me to take her to hospital appointments

[BecauseNothing]

A neighbour has asked me to drive her to, stay with her and bring her home from 2 upcoming hospital appointments. The first is in 4 weeks time and the second the week after. I have said I can’t because I’m working and she has asked if I can book the time off. I haven’t replied but this seems cheeky to me after I’d said no. AIBU? I need my annual leave for things with my own family. She has people who visit her who I presume are family and friends but apparently has no one to go with her. I work full time at home and have children so with everything that comes with that I’m busy.

OP do you know the nature of these appointment - does it involve a potentially scary diagnosis ? Is she disabled in any way/ would have trouble getting to and from the appointments ? I only ask because an ambulance or NHS taxi service is the obvious solution if so.

I’m not sure about this- on previous similar threads they didn’t want to ask their own kids because they thought their own kids jobs and family commitments were important. Unlike the neighbour.

id say the truth - I’m sorry, I use all my annual leave and buy extra just so I can cover school holidays and other things for the kids, I don’t have any leave available. Don’t you have family who visit? Have you asked them?

It sounds like she needs to book hospital transport. It would be lovely of you to offer, but you are under no obligation. She needs to be a bit resourceful and look after herself if no one can go with her.

None of that may be true at all. She hasn't chosen to explain why she needs OP to do this.

as for your Virtue Signalling 🙄

What do you mean? Surely you can’t expect OP to magic up some time that she just doesn’t have?

Hospital transport is available , as are taxis

You are not BU at all. She needs to lower her asks, people are saying "no" because she's asking for more than she needs. She wants the same person to take her, stay with her and being her home over the course of hours, so that she doesn't have to experience any boredom or delay. If she arranges to get there by public transport, doesn't have anyone with her for the appointment and just asks for a favour for someone (you or one of her other people/friends/family members) to kindly just collect her and bring her home once she's done, that's a much more feasible ask, and doesn't require any annual leave. Not that you are obliged to offer that, but she's being a CF asking for everyone else to maximise what they do in order to minimise her own effort/inconvenience.

Don't start it OP . I have car less elderly neighbours with a car owning retired relative living in the next road . They keep dropping hints and I am waiting for the first straight ask to come . A favour very quickly becomes an obligation . Emergency yes . General pre booked stuff no sorry

I would be strategically out the days she needs transport, she may not arrange anything and it will be much more difficult for you to say no if she turns up on the doorstep looking for urgent help.

Have you quoted my post in error or totally misread it????

Perhaps it’s because a one way journey can easily cost £20!

Very difficult to get!

Good job she's got plenty of time to save up then

Now I would do this if off work but to ask you to take annual leave to do this is incredibly cheeky imo. However, I would feel great sympathy if she has no one else to take her or if she really could not afford a taxi.

I would do this as a retired person but the fact you are working adds to the possibility this could happen virtually nil.

Yeah she is is being rather cheeky - just say "no, I can't"

She can book a taxi / take the bus / tell her own family or friends to take time off work.

But you do not need to tell her any of that, it's not your problem to get concerned over.

Well with the cost of fuel these days why should the OP fork out for it. She may well be sitting on a good pensions and funds.

I think this is an occasion of 'don't apologise, don't explain'.
Hi, NDN, I can't do that.
If asked why, just say 'because I can't'.

YADNBU

I suggest you be polite but direct with your nieghbour as what she is expecting of you is wayyyyyyyy too much.

She will have to organise her own transport, use public transport for her own appointments.

Also tell her what you said in your message, you should keep your annual leave for your family.

I have a nieghbour who does this to other nieghbours and it can get too much after a while, but expecting you to take annual leave is down right cheeky tbh.

I get myself to my own hospital appointments, and would never dream of expecting my nieghbours to take me.......Thats crazy.

That is what @BMW58 means though - if ever she gets to the point of expecting people to drop everything to help her when there are taxis etc, she wants shooting.

@BecauseNothing I think the big problem here is people do not understand WFH. I was working as an international sales director from home when we first moved into out house. Lots of DIY at weekends so scruffy then. An elderly neighbour (male) approached me when I was cutting the hedge and said "we thought you might like to clean for us a couple of hours a week"
No thank you

Absolutely this. She's a cheeky chancer, OP. Say NO - and don't feel you have to apologize or explain.

I would text that you cannot take time off work and then block.

Its amazing how entitled some neighbours are. I once had one ask if I would be a co-keyholder for another neighbour who had mild dementia. I was to check in on her if she didn't answer phone to her daughter. Even when I explained that I myself have mobility issues she would not take no for an answer, She left a note on my gate of her number so I could "think it over". My nephew posted the note back through her door ripped into pieces so I guess that was the answer. I never heard any more from her. No neighbour has my phone number and I dont want theirs.

Yes she’s being cheeky! Good you’ve nipped it in the bud

The 'take time off from work' is a very cheeky ask.