Neighbour asking me to take her to hospital appointments

[BecauseNothing]

A neighbour has asked me to drive her to, stay with her and bring her home from 2 upcoming hospital appointments. The first is in 4 weeks time and the second the week after. I have said I can’t because I’m working and she has asked if I can book the time off. I haven’t replied but this seems cheeky to me after I’d said no. AIBU? I need my annual leave for things with my own family. She has people who visit her who I presume are family and friends but apparently has no one to go with her. I work full time at home and have children so with everything that comes with that I’m busy.

Do you work from home @BecauseNothing?

Op be firm say you cant get time off work. I find if you help once you get the next phone call again..

She might be taking the age-old advice 'if you want something done, ask a busy person' a bit too literally.

Round here we have a Voluntary Car Service run by the Church. People volunteer their cars and their time to take others to hospital etc and the users pay so much a mile.
Is there something like that in your area OP ?

Give her the telephone number for hospital transport and reiterate you are working.

no need to explain you want your own annual leave for stuff you do, or you can't get emergency leave for neighbours appointment

give her a solution and walk away

No is a complete sentence.
cheeky git. Not your problem

She's being unreasonable in pushing it after you said no. And IMO she was unreasonable to ask in the first place because you work so you fairly clearly aren't available to do take her.

Just reply no you cannot take leave from work. Don't give further reasons or excuses, there's no need.

Or maybe she’s desperate? I have no friends or family living near me. If I have a general anaesthetic for anything I will be stumped bec as the only friend I could as to do this lives four hours away and she can’t drive anyway so it would mean getting a taxi from the hospital.

Annual leave allocated sorry.

then if you feel the need check for local help transport schemes.

re why she asked you it’s impossible to answer that. Maybe she’s had a terrible diagnosis she doesn’t want to share with her family. Maybe she has asked them and they said no. Maybe she is asking a busy person so she can moan to family that she had to ask her lovely neighbour.

"I'm really sorry I can't, because I don't want to".

Could she get a cab?

Thanks. I’ve replied and said I have plans for all my leave days.

There may be patient transport or church groups that help but I feel if I tell her that, she’ll try to get me to sort it out. She’s older, I’d say mid 70s. It’s sad if she doesn’t have anyone but I really don’t have the time.

This! I was about to say I'd be tempted to be blunt and say "because I don't want to". For somebody you are not close to, to ask this kind of favour is bonkers.

But I understand IRL far better to find an approach which is more tactful, but they certainly wouldn't ask again!

This, I can't understand why some people can't just be a bit more kinder about things. Labelling her a cheeky so, and so. One day, it could be them who need the help.

Well if you don’t have the annual leave to spare, then you can’t help her. I really don’t see how anyone can call you unreasonable. Do you have any idea why she can’t get herself to these appointments? At least she still has a month to make attachments.

You would most likely be kept in overnight afterwards. Our local trust has patient transport available too.

Say no and suggest that she ask the hospital if she’s eligible for hospital transport.

My friend who i hadnt seen for 2 years and is very tall and very large asked me if she could stay with me after day surgery, i said where do you think you are sleeping as i dont have a spare room and you cant get upstairs and i work full time so i said no

Say no, your leave is allocated. You could offer to help her book a taxi or figure out which bus if you feel inclined.

it is cheeky to carry on after youve said no-sorry id only take time off for close family personally she cold end up being there for hours

Asking once was ok, but I told her I couldn’t and she asked again. That feels cheeky to me.

I wouldn’t describe it as cheeky, more like desperate.

Definitely this.

Christ I'm 68 and don't drive. If I ever get to the point where I think "I know, I'll ask a neighbour rather than family/friend or organise a taxi/uber/patient transport" fucking well SHOOT ME please!!

Surely people don't have personality transplants as they age? Do they???

She’s free to ask but then following up to ask you to book time off once you said no is extraordinary. I’d go one further than cheeky and say jaw-droppingly clueless.